On Blogging Howard K. Stern
Apr 27th, 2007 by Jane Devin
This is the type of life I lead: Quiet, simple, spare and private.
This is the type of life I want: Quiet, simple, spare and private.
I’ve worked hard to have this kind of life, and although most probably would not envy it, it’s what I’ve always wanted. Immersed in battles of one kind or another since I was a child, I’ve developed some pretty impressive fighting skills, have used my words as weapons as well as salve, and have sacrificed more than I ever thought I would be necessary for my causes and ideals.
A life spent in struggle takes its toll. Eventually, I had to retreat from all the arenas that I created or that were placed before me as a challenge. I found that being “of the world, but not necessarily in it” was not as antithetical to my ideals as I once believed. I came to understand that I did not have to fight every fight, or win every battle. I learned that, really, if I lived the quiet kind of life my heart aspired to, many battles would simply disappear from my view, perhaps to be taken up by younger and more vigorous souls.
When I came to the internet just a short time ago, it was in response to the media’s attempts to destroy a man who had lost two loved ones in the course of a year with rumors and unfounded accusations. I wanted to see if television personalities like Nancy Grace or Greta VanSusteren really wielded power over public opinion, or if the public at large was able to discern between tabloid gossip and journalism.
I was discouraged by what I found. Message boards to newsgroups were bursting with uninformed views and rumors repeated from television as if they were gospel. Even the wildest speculations were being given some credence. It took quite a bit of searching to find a website, and a small portion of the public, that bucked this tide. Yes, it was a tribute site, where fans of the recently deceased Anna Nicole Smith gathered, which could lessen its credibility — after all, fans are not known for their objectivity — but among the various posters were people who were set on finding the facts. If they were going to support Howard K. Stern, the partner of Anna Nicole Smith, they wanted to have backing for their beliefs.
Hence, web detectives sprung forth on annanicoleandhowardkstern.com, as they also did later on CourtTV and WebSleuths boards. Literally hundreds of various links, articles, transcripts and other material began to fill the pages. Some people even paid out of their own pocket for more extensive information, such as background checks and criminal information. They found that their efforts were only bolstering their case for support, and they wanted to share what they found with Stern’s family and attorneys. On the tribute site, one person volunteered to collect the information, and another volunteered to organize it and submit it to the parties involved.
It seemed a noble effort for a wonderfully humanitarian cause. And then, of course, because we are dealing with human beings, all hell had to break loose. Arguments broke out and were unresolved. Accusations were flung. Rumors started. Speculations ensued. Egos got involved. People began to think of themselves as employees or true representatives of attorneys involved in the case. They began to believe that a couple of e-mails made them “close” to this or that person. Lawsuits were threatened. Words were taken out of context to injure or discredit others. There were threats to find out who people “really” were. All of these harmful, crazy-making events mirroring, on a microcosmic scale, the very thing people had gathered to fight against.
I’m still not sure how I got dragged into that online bit of drama, but even without that, writing about Howard K. Stern has not been without its hazards. From vituperous e-mails sent by Nancy Grace fans, to horrible comments made by people who hate deeply and without reason, to the threats made by people who claim to be supportive of the same causes, blogging about Stern has proven to be quite the experience in humankind. It’s been nothing short of reassuring that for very bit of nastiness, there’s been a flood of kindness.
Still, it only takes one unstable person to wreak havoc. While I’ve taken every precaution to protect myself online, I still have to wonder what would happen to my life if a web detective with poor intentions and a grudge turned on me. It’s a scary thought. I am not wealthy or famous, or even anyone who has left a profound mark on this world yet, but the peace I enjoy today is invaluable to me. The fact that I’m not involved in any conflict or strife is something I cherish, like a well-deserved reward after years spent fighting the good fight. I would not give up my hard-won and mercifully quiet existence for any amount of money.
But would I for a cause I believe in? You bet. The woman may have retreated, but she still has the same ideals. Among those is that a writer should never be afraid, of either her own words or the words of others. That, even in unfamiliar territory, like the internet, there is the opportunity to tell the “more to the story” that often goes untold.
Jane, you may not have left your mark on the world but you have left a mark on our hearts at the website for Howard and Anna. God Bless You and thank you for all the wonderful things that you write.
To Howard Kevin Stern:
I trust that by now, you know that you are not alone. I am one of those many who believe that you stood by Anna Nicole aka Vicky Lynn, all those years, because you loved her genuinely. You loved her when she was beautiful, pretty, charming and glamorous, and you loved her when she was not. You loved her when the money was rolling in, you loved her when she did not know from where the next nickel and dime might come in. You loved her more than your own life, more about your male ego, and even though she led a controversial life and slept with other men. You loved her more than all the men around her, and in my opinion, certainly more than Larry Birkhead loved her.
I wish you strength, good health, and prosperity, and I hope you will live a long life and remain as Dannielynn’s guardian just as you were her mother’s.
Regards,
Kristin
Well I for one, had never been “involved” in anything on the internet before, I always read and formed my own opinion in my thoughts and/or then researched until I was satisfied with an answer. I was then forever changed by becoming involved. People from everywhere understood Anna, understood from their own experiences whether abuse, legal tangle, parenthood, death, tragedy, sorrow, addiction, etc. They could all relate with Anna in their own way. Something was wrong with the way things were reported, something didn’t seem right, didn’t make sense with what we were seeing in the media. So I sought the truth with so many others and always kept in mind, what did anna want? What was best for DannieLynn? and how could someone that had done everything for nothing for over a decade be the one taking the heat for it all? In the future I will continue to read and continue to analyze the situation and seek the truth…and I will also continue to put my two cents in when it seems that there is more to the story…
Jane,
You are a true writer from your heart. I’ve enjoyed reading everything you’ve written. That is a true gift from God. We all have a gift, even though we don’t always know how and when to use it. You use yours in a very positive way and that’s what makes you so unique. Please keep up the good work. There is more good things to come for you. As far as Howard is concerned, God is going to make his enemies be still. We just have to trust and have faith.
Jane-
Thank you for always staying true to who you are..never be afraid to stand up for one of your beliefs or causes. I am very sorry for what one person did to make the site so argumentative. Just know that tons of people love, admire and respect your writings, as I do. Howard has so many supports and I am sure is very grateful. His love has shown through like your passion has shown through.
Thank you again for all your beautiful writings. Your page will always be on my favorites list.
Vanessa
Butterfly, yes, you were one of the first ones at the tribute site, weren’t you? When you say many could relate to Anna, though, I think of “many” as being out there in the world at large, and I really haven’t seen that on any great scale. I see it more in smaller groups and in personal stories here and there. I do think it’s absolutely right, though — that many people could relate to Anna in any number of ways if they cared to. Instead, some choose simply to see her as a caricature, or a pin-up, or a drug addict, or something else that’s easy to label. She, like most people, was more than the sum total of her tragedies. I would have liked to see more of the media talk about that.
Thank you, Vanessa, EJ, LeMay and Kristin — EJ, I’m going to keep that faith, too.
Jane,
It takes courage, determination, and strength to do what you do. With every article that you write the reader is given a glimpse inside your heart and soul.
With every test in life that you have had to endure your character has been finely tuned and chisled until it has formed this shield of goodness that you wield in the only way that you know how to protect and strengthen those who come into contact with you. Those of us who are privledged to know you and your work find ourselves growing as a result of the intersection of our world and yours.
We are better people because of you.
I for one hope that you never close up shop. Contnue to write, teach and guide us Jane…it is your gift.
A post that did not survive the transfer from wordpress, From Lucky:
Lucky (Michele)
Jane,
I too have very much enjoyed your articles. You seem to put the thoughts that I have into wonderful words, and for that I am grateful for your site. We, as human beings with feelings do what we believe to be true, for the ones that need us most. That being Howard K. Stern. He needed us and we came through for him as we would for anything that our heart tells us is right. We know what is right and what is wrong, others have lost that privilege somewhere along the way.
Good luck to all,
Michele
And another that didn’t come through the gate:
My Mothers daughter |
Jane:
Once again you are able to get to the bare bones of an issue.
While life throws all of us curve balls, some more than others, it is what we do with these challenges that shapes and moulds our inner soul and character. While many become bitter and use this to hurt and diminish others to stoke their own insecurities, others have become stronger and more determined to share their wealth of experiences in a positive way.
While you seek your quiet life and privacy, you have done more good and impacted more people than you probably realize. While the media clamored to crucify Howard K Stern, you became a beacon of light for those of us who were in search of the truth. As a result of that, you have left the footprints of your gentle soul on our hearts in ways you probably never dreamed of. This has created a domino effect as we have become better, more respectful and introspective people due to your writings and wisdom.
For that and much more we thank you.
Jane,
What you write is so true and I always enjoy reading it. I have been one of the ones around since Anna died and have seen alot. Well said, and I always enjoy working and talking to you. You are the sweetest and most honest person…Now let’s go to KFC???
Jane,
You DO make a difference in the world. Look how many people from different parts of the country read your writings then we pass on your words to others who start to see things in a different light. I love reading your blog, I’ve got friends and family now reading it and it always gives us something to think about and discuss in a constructive way. You set the tone for civility and respect. Negativity need not come here and NEVER let misery that loves company stop you for making a difference. Like HKS, Jane we have your back!
Cindy
Cindy,
Amen!
Vivian,
I want to thank you for all your hours of hard work the nights you stayed up.
For all the letters you wrote, the emails and comments and blogs. And all the insults you endured for being a Howard supporter at Courttv and TMZ.
Vivian, I’ll add my thanks to Carol’s. The information you provide is wonderful. - Jane