Jane Devin

This is the type of life I lead: Quiet, simple, spare and private.

This is the type of life I want: Quiet, simple, spare and private.

I’ve worked hard to have this kind of life, and although most probably would not envy it, it’s what I’ve always wanted. Immersed in battles of one kind or another since I was a child, I’ve developed some pretty impressive fighting skills, have used my words as weapons as well as salve, and have sacrificed more than I ever thought I would – more than I ever thought would be necessary – for my causes and ideals.

A life spent in struggle takes its toll. Eventually, I had to retreat from all the arenas that I created or that were placed before me as a challenge. I found that being “of the world, but not necessarily in it” was not as antithetical to my ideals as I once believed. I came to understand that I did not have to fight every fight, or win every battle – I learned that, really, if I lived the quiet kind of life my heart aspired to, many battles would simply disappear from my view, perhaps to be taken up by younger and more vigorous souls.

When I came to the internet just a short time ago, it was in response to the media’s attempts to destroy a man who had lost two loved ones in the course of a year with rumors and unfounded accusations. I wanted to see if television personalities like Nancy Grace or Greta VanSusteren really wielded power over public opinion, or if the public at large was able to discern between tabloid gossip and journalism.

I was discouraged by what I found. Message boards to newsgroups were bursting with uninformed views and rumors repeated from television as if they were gospel. Even the wildest speculations were being given some credence. It took quite a bit of searching to find a website, and a small portion of the public, that bucked this tide. Yes, it was a tribute site, where fans of the recently deceased Anna Nicole Smith gathered, which could lessen its credibility – after all, fans are not known for their objectivity – but among the various posters were people who were set on finding the facts. If they were going to support Howard K. Stern, the partner of Anna Nicole Smith, they wanted to have backing for their beliefs.

Hence, web detectives sprung forth on annanicoleandhowardkstern.com, as they also did later on CourtTV and WebSleuths boards. Literally hundreds of various links, articles, transcripts and other material began to fill the pages. Some people even paid out of their own pocket for more extensive information, such as background checks and criminal information. They found that their efforts were only bolstering their case for support, and they wanted to share what they found with Stern’s family and attorneys. On the tribute site, one person volunteered to collect the information, and another volunteered to organize it and submit it to the parties involved.

It seemed a noble effort for a wonderfully humanitarian cause. And then, of course – because we are dealing with human beings – all hell had to break loose. Arguments broke out and were unresolved. Accusations were flung. Rumors started. Speculations ensued. Egos got involved. People began to think of themselves as employees or true representatives of attorneys involved in the case. They began to believe that a couple of e-mails made them “close” to this or that person. Lawsuits were threatened. Words were taken out of context to injure or discredit others. There were threats to find out who people “really” were. All of these harmful, crazy-making events mirroring, on a microcosmic scale, the very thing people had gathered to fight against.

I’m still not sure how I got dragged into that online bit of drama, but even without that, writing about Howard K. Stern has not been without its hazards. From vituperous e-mails sent by Nancy Grace fans, to horrible comments made by people who hate deeply and without reason, to the threats made by people who claim to be supportive of the same causes, blogging about Stern has proven to be quite the experience in humankind. It’s been nothing short of reassuring that for very bit of nastiness, there’s been a flood of kindness.

Still, it only takes one unstable person to wreak havoc. While I’ve taken every precaution to protect myself online, I still have to wonder what would happen to my life if a web detective with poor intentions and a grudge turned on me. It’s a scary thought. I am not wealthy or famous, or even anyone who has left a profound mark on this world yet, but the peace I enjoy today is invaluable to me. The fact that I’m not involved in any conflict or strife is something I cherish, like a well-deserved reward after years spent fighting the good fight. I would not give up my hard-won and mercifully quiet existence for any amount of money.

But would I for a cause I believe in? You bet. The woman may have retreated, but she still has the same ideals. Among those is that a writer should never be afraid, of either her own words or the words of others. That, even in unfamiliar territory, like the internet, there is the opportunity to tell the “more to the story” that often goes untold.