Jun 26 2007
Time Has Not Brought Closure to Victim’s Family
Terry Armstrong never had much in the way of money but she never hesitated to offer what she could to those who had less.
“One year,” her sister Debbie recalls, “there was a family in the neighborhood that wasn’t going to have a Christmas. Terry loaded up everything she had of value in her own house and dropped it off on their doorstep anonymously. That’s the kind of person she was. She would give anything she had to help someone else.” Debbie’s voice falters and she pauses.
While she’s spoken about her sister often, it never gets any easier. Her fondest memories have been tainted by the brutal act of murder.
It’s been almost three years since Terry Armstrong’s body was found, multiply stabbed, with her throat cut so deeply as to nearly decapitate her. While two men have been named “persons of interest” in the case, an arrest has not been made.
The first man, Terry’s live-in boyfriend Tim Randall, was charged with two counts of domestic violence shortly before Terry was murdered. He was given 30 day consecutive sentences on those charges after her death.
The second man, Troy Voichoskie, was an acquaintance who often frequented the house next door. Terry’s blood was found on the hood of Voichoskie’s pickup on the day of Terry’s murder, and she was last seen driving with him, but there was not evidence enough for an arrest. Voichoskie claims he gave her a ride to a bowling alley parking lot. Voichoskie was charged with giving false information to investigators, and served 180 days in jail for that offense.
DNA found on Terry’s clothing was not a match for either Randall or Voichoskie, but investigators don’t rule out the possibility that this DNA could have come from a third party or someone other than her murderer. In an April, 2007 interview with Nebraska’s Norfolk Daily News, Jon Downey, an investigator for the Madison County Sheriff’s office, said there is a third person of interest, but declined to give details. In the meantime, Voichoskie has moved out of state.
While the family has offered a $10,000 reward through the Norfolk Area Crimestoppers unit, and Downey has received a number of tips, there has not been enough solid information or evidence for an arrest.
Debbie is determined that her sister’s murder be solved. Debbie wants justice for Terry, and some sense of closure on what has been a tremendously painful experience for her entire family. “I wrote to Nancy Grace, and Unsolved Mysteries– everybody I could think of,” Debbie said. “No one wanted to help. I just know there’s got to be someone out there who knows something. If only they could know what kind of person Terry was . . . if only they could know how much my family is hurting, maybe they’d step forward with information.” Time, for Debbie and her family, has not been healing, but instead keeps them suspended in the grip of a violent tragedy.
Terry Armstrong was a beautiful woman, but also one haunted by the SIDS death of her infant daughter, Angie. Terry had always been an extremely sensitive woman, and her emotions were at times in turmoil, but after Angie’s death, Terry was inconsolable and had to be admitted to a psychiatric unit for treatment. There, Terry was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, a disease that would ebb and flow, leaving Terry in and out of treatment for the remainder of her life. Her son, Steven, would be raised by Debbie and Terry’s parents.
Terry, whose self-esteem was low despite her generous spirit and usually enthusiastic personality, was the victim of domestic violence in a couple of relationships before she met Tim Randall. The family, Debbie said, did not know the full extent of those situations until after Terry’s death. Terry’s effusive nature and soft spirit, it seems, led her to want to help other people more than herself.
“I don’t think she ever felt she deserved better, I don’t think she ever felt truly worthy.” Debbie says, her voice steeped in sadness.
This is not how she wanted to remember her sister, as a victim. She wanted the warmer memories, the ones where her sister’s spirit was in full bloom, and where there was still a chance at life, at happiness. Still, this is what she has. The memory of a beautiful sister with bright eyes and a big smile whose gentle and kind spirit, despite a troubled life, was senselessly and violently cut short.
73 responses so far
Jane,
There you go. You continue to use your talent to bring justice and well being into the world. Always awesome Jane..always awesome.
Someone …somewhere … knows what happened to this beautiful, kind and generous woman. They know how she was killed, when, where and most importantly, why. The more exposure this story gets, the better the chance that someone with those answers will talk. I would encourage Debbie and her family to join a support group for families of murder victims. There are many such groups on the internet and often they can keep the story out there in the public view.
I know first hand some of the anguish and heartache that Debbie and her family are going through. My brother, David Anthony (Tony) Wright, was killed in a drive-by shooting as he walked down the street in Chicago. The year was 1974 and we all still miss him terribly. His murder was solved and justice was handed down but it really didn’t bring peace. When someone we love is brutally and senselessly killed I don’t know if we ever find all of the answers that we need and even if we do, it does not necessarily bring closure.
My heart and prayers go out to Debbie and her family.
My heart and prayers go out to Debbie and her family, also.
I know the gulity feelings they own, that they could not do enough to save her.
Jane,
You moved me again.
This is a horrible tragedy, and it seems to me that they have plenty of evidence. How did her blood get on the truck. Give me a break!
Linda
This is such a sad situation. I’ve been there with the murder of my sister by the hands of her husband. Tragedy and loss can leave you feeling powerless, like a single flower that the wind whips and breaks.
I felt like I no longer had control over the circumstances of my life. I felt hopeless and alone. My anger and grief caused me to lose a sense of God’s presence. After much prayer, I came to realize that he is closer than the beating of my own heart. He assured me that no tragedy could separate me from his amazing love. He allowed me to draw from his power to take responsibility for my life again and to see past heartache, and to find hope and healing in his presence.
It has now been 39 years since this happened to me. My sis will always be in my heart, but God has taken care of the rest.
I pray for Terry’s family that they too, will find closure and one day, peace.
Dear Jane:
Really good piece, but so sad.
It is so hard to lose a family member suddenly, but I’m sure it is even harder to lose them in such a violent act.
Seems like the police have some pretty hard evidence, blood in the truck. Hope the people of Madison County, Nebraska will be able to supply more facts on the two friends and information on the crime. So the family will be able to have closure and peace of mind about what happened.
What a tragedy that this woman with such a loving and caring heart life had to end this way.
My prayers and condolences to Terry Armstrong’s family.
Jane such a moving story……Very sad for Debbie and her family.
I hope some of our wonderful reseachers can help Debbie out. Theres good people on here that want to help and will do what they can to help.
Guys lets see if we can help Debbie and her family……solve the case…….and I would say if you find any info, email it to Jane for now until we are told to sent it elsewhere.
Jane thanks for posting this story
My prayers and thoughts are with Debbie and her family…
EJ,
Your faith is remarkable. Reading your story gives me strength.
Kim,
I would love to help, I wonder what we can do for this family. I would love to help them.
It is a crime in itself that whoever did this is not brought to justice. The community and the family should not leave the police alone until they find this person.
Maybe we could start a petition. I don’t know, just a thought. I am going to search around the net and see what I can find. I want to know more, and I want to know what the police have uncovered.
Linda
PA
Everyday is full of thoughts of aunt Terry. Please help get her story out to the public so one day we can find justice for her. Thank you for all of the prayers and thoughts. We truely miss our angel…
Jane:
Thank you so much for writing this article about Terry. Some of us who are regulars here and on QV’s site and chat room know Debbie and what she has and is going through. It has been an horrific 3 years for her as well as her family.
Logi:
We love you, are here for you and will do all we can. Please see my post after your story on the link that Jane provided.
~M~
Jane, thank you for bringing this sad story to our attention. God Bless her family.. The three men need to be questioned again. No if”s ands or but’s . the truth is there. the detectives need to go back over this again… For God’s sake… what is terry’s blood doing in this mans vehicle????? Some times law enforcement needs some” new blood” to get the ball rolling again…AS IN PETITION. J
If anybody knows what needs to be done, it’s the compassionate people who post on this site.
Get out your old links, and gather some new ones. Ask those in the media to get involved in finding justice for Terry.
Send them these links on Terry’s story:
http://www.madisoncountysheriff.com/old%20pages/crimestoppers.htm
http://www.norfolkdailynews.com/main.asp?SectionID=3&SubSectionID=104&ArticleID=3405
http://www.norfolkdailynews.com/main.asp?SectionID=3&SubSectionID=104&ArticleID=3406
http://www.ktiv.com/News/index.php?ID=2010
This family has waited too long.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, I am Terry’s brother. We have attempted to get national media to carry this story to no avail, we are at our wit’s end as how to gain more exposure. If money is the issue I will sell my house to raise a larger reward, any help (information) is greatly appreciated.
Thank you all
R
R, I hope that will never be necessary. I hope that conscience, rather than money, will eventually motivate someone to come forward with anything they know. I am providing some links below. I hope people will take a few minutes out of their day today and join you in asking the media for help. - Jane
I watch COLD CASE FILES every week and they always ask if anyone knows a case that has not been solved, maybe that would be a thing to do. i will check. but also i do believe in the pychics that i see on the court cases, and i just saw one, and the psychic saw the faceof the man that did the killing. i am trying here in my area to get in touch with one of the known psychics to help find the body of Christy Wilson, her murderer is in jail. but he says he didn’t do it so he won’t say where the body is. i have helped search, before. it is now 3 years for her family to wonder about.
For now, for a start. If anyone has other links to share, please add them to this thread. Thank you.
Courtroom Television Network (Court TV)br/>
600 Third Avenue, 2nd Floor
New York, NY 10016
(212) 973-2800
http://www.courttv.com/
NANCY GRACE / CNN
Main Page: http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/nancy.grace/
Contact Form: http://www.cnn.com/feedback/forms/form5c.html?24
CNN
One CNN Center
Box 105366
Atlanta, GA 30348-5366
(404) 827-1500
http://www.cnn.com/
AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
How do I submit a case to AMW?
If you would like to have a case considered for the show, please send all facts to:
America’s Most Wanted
PO Box Crime TV
Washington DC 20016
Please make sure to note whether there is a known fugitive charged with the crime, or whether the perpetrator is yet to be identified. If charges have been filed, please note the police agency that filed the charges. It is also helpful to let us know what photos and/or video are available of the victim and the fugitive.
A&E Television Networks
Attn: Cold Case Files
235 East 45th Street
New York, NY 10017
http://www.aetv.com/cold_case_files/index.jsp
R i for one am not in this for money and i don’t think anyone else is. we are in it for justice. and what ever we can do we will . sometimes justice needs a kick in the pants my thoughts are with you and your family
R, We will help. the noisy wheel gets the oil… there is a reason this information came to us. This is no cold case. there is forensic evidence. I have already contacted two news channels… . Phones will start ringing tomorrow. Believe me ,there is power in people contacting people. God bless you and your family,J
These are some other emails I had and passing them along to the list Jane started…
Lets write to all these emails letters from all of us in hopes will get someone to help Debbie….
20/20
60 minutes
48 hours
Dateline
Hannity and Colmes
Inside Edition
On the record
WONDERFUL, KIMMIE! Thank you! - Jane
Vivian & Jimi…Great posts
LETS HOPE THIS FAMILY GET JUSTICE!!!!!
Thank you too Kimrakanuttie, I love amw and John Walsh… A show on Terry would be helpful. AMW, P.O. Crime TV, Washington, DC,20016 Let’s get to work girls . Vivian, I do believe in psychics for this type of work. J
It might be more effective to jumpstart the investigation by going on the offensive. Rather than making solving Terry’s murder the primary focus, widen your net of support by finding other families within the same jurisdiction that have received similar half-baked efforts by law enforcement. Maybe if it’s a complacent, low profile police or sheriff’s department, shining a light on its past “misses” might embarrass them into action. Especially if a number of local families are working in unison to expose multiple shoddy investigations. Where I live the local sheriff is an elected official. Make it a campaign issue if the same is true for Madison County.
Also, I would wonder if cronyism, rather than lack of manpower is what thwarted the pursuit of the “persons of interest”. Have you looked into any personal connections between those individuals?
Jane,
A moving and well written piece. I will add my efforts in writing to the links. There is strength in numbers.
Since I happen to live in Iowa, actually over the bridge from Omaha. Which isn’t too far Norfolk. Here are some local new station links. Keep in mind they are in Omaha which isn’t too far away.
www.ketv.com
www.wowt.com
www.action3news.com
Those are news stations. Now for newspaper here is the link:
www.omaha.com
This family will be in my prayers. And if there is anything I can do please PLEASE let me know. I would be more than happy to help if I can.
Unsolved Mysteries is one that I watch. I do not know the link, maybe someone else does.
Logical, I feel your pain that you and your family have had to endure. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Michele
Again, Thank you all. I know money (or any thought of reward) is NOT what drives most people to help others in time of need!! Your kind words and condolences speak volumes as to the character of the visitors to this site.
Thank you all
R
i took the e link to TERRY’s story and emailed all three to every email address on the list. i am looking for more emails links. how easy it is to do things when there are many fingers amd minds going in the same direction. keep the faith R. we have just begun.
Dear Jane,
I have emailed the links to Terry’s story, but not your link Jane, should I?
Sure hope it helps, and I wish there was a ‘watchdog’ group or registry/listing for domestic violence offenders, like the sex offenders.
Love You All So Much,
Freida
The links to the Norfolk News, KTIV and Debbie’s article are likely to be most effective with the media, Freida, whereas the link to this article would be best on the internet, for those who may wish to get involved and help the family. Thanks, Jane
Jane read paragraph 10 on this link and you may understand why the case is not moving faster.
Madison County Sheriff
Downey said he still considers Troy Voichoskie “a person of interest” in the investigation. That’s because Armstrong’s blood was found on his pickup and she …
www.madisoncountysheriff.com/armstrong_1.html - 25k - Supplemental Result - Cached - Similar pages
Every year at Christmas or on our birthdays, Terry would send us an angel. At Terry’s memorial, our family bought angels and each of us stood and shared our memories of Terry and presented another family member with an angel. I think that Terry is still sending us angels. I consider each of you to be angels sent to us from Terry.
I can’t begin to tell each of you how much I appreciate your thoughts, prayers, scriptures and even your anger at the injustice of my sister’s death. On behalf of our family, I thank you.
Jane, I thank you for the compassionate and elegant way that you took Terry’s life story and weaved it into something beautiful. You’ve proven to me that my trust in you to write Terry’s story was not misplaced. Your article has given solace to our family and helps us endure. You truly are an angel on earth “Jane Devin”.
Downey points out out there’s no statute of limitations on homicide. “We have basically forever to file this. While we’d like to get it done much more promptly than that for the sake of the family, we literally have forever to do this,” Downey said. “And we will continue to pursue it until it’s done.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MR. DOWNEY, THAT GOD WILL WORK IN HIS LIFE TO SOLVE THIS CASE. BECAUSE FOREVER IS LONG TIME.
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU DEBBIE AND YOUR FAMILY. IT IS IN GOD’S HANDS NOW SO WATCH OUT!!!!
Here is another link and early newspaper story:
http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/989871.html
Madison County Attorney Joe Smith … is he still active and on this case?
I would like to share an editorial from the Norfolk Daily News written in April of 2007.
Our View
Not giving up on murder case
Perseverance of Madison County officials is admirable. The popular CBS series “Cold Case” — as television is known for doing — makes it seem relatively easy to wrap up a criminal case that had gone unsolved for years. And all in 60 minutes, too. In real life, however, there’s a reason they’re called cold cases. It means a significant amount of time has passed since the crime occurred, the evidence gathered has collected dust and the interviews conducted would be just a faded memory if not for notes taken. And as far as new leads? They can be few and far between. So the actual rate of success in solving cold cases — despite what the CBS series might lead you to believe — is not all that good. And those who work on them can often find themselves frustrated.
With that said, we turn our attention to the Terry Armstrong murder case in Madison County. Let’s be clear about this: The Madison County Sheriff’s Office does not consider this a cold case. This remains an active investigation for personnel there. But it’s rapidly approaching three years since the 48-year-old Norfolk woman’s body was found by a hunter not far from Meadow Grove near the Yellowbanks State Recreation Area. Her throat had been cut by a knife.
Two individuals, Troy Voichoskie and Tim Randall, continue to be considered “people of interest,” officials say. Ms. Armstrong’s blood was found on Voichoskie’s pickup the day her body was found. Randall faced two domestic assault charges for fights with Ms. Armstrong in the month leading up to her murder. There’s also another individual who is of interest to authorities in the case, but they’re declining to identify him at this time.
We continue to be impressed by the perseverance of Jon Downey, an investigator with the county sheriff’s office, and others involved in the case. We believe them when they say that they haven’t stopped trying to solve this case, trying to find the person who killed Ms. Armstrong so that justice can be served. And so that Ms. Armstrong’s family members can finally more fully understand what happened to their loved one.
“This will not, as long as the current sheriff and county attorney are still here, ever be considered a cold case. It will be actively investigated until it’s cleared,” Mr. Downey said. Yet as each week or month passes, the work becomes harder. It requires even more diligence and long-term vision to proceed. So we’re grateful for the work being done by the sheriff’s office and others. We know it’s not easy.
it bothers me that because there is no limitations on a murder, the polkice seem to think they have all the time in the world. what if he has already killed others, and because there no one has linked them together, he could kill again . it is imperative they find this person as soon as possible, to ensure the lives of others and to let terrys family have some peace.
Thanks for bringing this to our attention Jane.
Debbie (logical), I am amazed that in the face of such heartache you still have such a wealth of compassion and beauty about you. You and your family are in my prayers, everyone deserves justice and I’ll do my part in trying to get the news media involved. No one should get away with murder and no one is “too poor” to matter. I’ll be all too happy to help get your sister’s some attention, I’d rather that than vacuous celebutantes dominating the airwaves any day. God bless you all.
Small typo, I meant “sister’s murder some attention”.
EPU.
I MADE A CALL THIS AM CONCERNING THIS CASE… THIS STORY NEEDS TO BE AIRED. WHERE I COME FROM IF A VICTIMS BLOOD IS FOUND ON A SUSPECT’S BELONGINGS…. AUTOMATIC ARREST! SHOULD BE NO DIFFERENT THERE. ALMOST THREE YEARS HAVE PAST SINCE THIS YOUNG WOMANS HORRIFIC MURDER. MORE THAN ONE PERSON IS SUSPECT.’ DRAGING FEET NEVER GATHER MOSS’.. OLD SAYING, BUT TRUE.
JANE, I HOPE IT WAS OK, I GAVE THEM YOUR SITE. PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW. TERRY’S FAMILY NEEDS CLOSURE. J
Sadly, there are hundreds, probably thousands of adults and children that have been murdered or have gone missing at any given time.
It would be absolutely horrible to never know if your loved one is still alive and being held in captivity somewhere and possibly being tortured or, if they are dead. And if they are dead, not knowing where. Never even having that kind of closure would be unendurable.
I feel for this family and for all the other families that go through this torture. The only good thing is that they know what happened and were able to bury their loved one. I do hope they are able to bring the perp(s) to justice.
Thank you for sharing your story with us Debbie and thank you for posting this Jane. It’s a terrible loss to a family but not having closure seems even worse. Debbie you have made sure the police have not ‘closed’ this case and in the end you will have your ending and those guilty will suffer through God’s hands and Justice. Your sister is smiling down on you and your family!!
Ooops forgot!! Thanks for the links everyone!!
Dear Debbie and Jane, I spoke with Mr.Jon Downey. He has read your story. I ask would he mind if others got involved in this case. He said he didn’t mind. I have contacted AMW and CNN. Haven’t heard back from them. Mr. Downey is a nice man.
If you wonder why I feel so passionate about this… I worked in a busy trauma center for many years. Murders bother me, both adult and children. It angers me when sense less homocides occur.
Thanks to all for the web sites.
Each day, my mom has to deal with the pain of losing her dear sister tragically and unexpectedly. She never had a chance to say, “Good-Bye, or I Love You,” one last time to Aunt Terry. As Debbie’s daughter, I see how my mom suffers and I only wish I could ease her pain. If anyone knows anything, please think how you would feel if the same event happened to you and your family, and come forward with any piece of information you may have. Please help us to close this case so we may be able to find peace within our hearts.
I sent my emails out to the different shows listed above. I will send a letter to America’s Most Wanted as well. I could not find an email address for Cold Case, does anyone know their email address.
What else can we do? Let me know.
linda
PA
My email to Hannity and Colmes bounced back, does anyone have another address for them.
linda
pa
HI LAACE, THIS IS WHAT I LOOKED UP
or
Good luck, I have had problems with my e-mails coming back also.
Jimi, that must have been a very difficult job. I commend people like you who deal daily with the victims of trauma.
Debbie, I look at that picture of your sister and see such hope and happiness. It makes me all the more sad and determined to do my part to help.
Barbara, I loved my work and I learned a lot, esp. from my patients. I will never forget them. I learned a lot about love and compassion….I also experienced a lot of tragedy . There is a time for holding on ,and a time of letting go. And letting go is the hardest… time stands still forever..
For those who are having problems with e-mails…the phones still work. 1-888-Grace-01. Keep calling to tell Terry’s story.
My emails bounced back and some wrote back and ask for story copies in the mail.
If you sent the links as I did sometimes they don’t work, so that is why they want copies mailed.
Dateline requested in writing to this address:
STORY SUGGESTIONS
Dateline NBC
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112
A & E also requested copies be mailed
A&E Television Networks
Attn: Cold Case Files
235 East 45th Street
New York, NY 10017
Courtroom Televisioon Netword (CourtTV)
600 Third Avenue, 2nd Floor
New York, NY 10016
CNN
One CNN center
Box 105366
Atlanta, GA 30348-5366
We prayer for this case to be resolved and thank Mr. Downey for letting others get involved.
Thanks Jane for the spell check your a doll.
Sorry missed this, we pray for the case to be resolved.
Courtroom Television Network (CourtTV)
600 Third Avenue, 2nd Floor
New York, NY 10016
I need bigger glasses. LOL
Debbie, Jessica and R.
I have seen victims of domestic violence, it is such a hard thing to understand, we have not had to deal with a tragedy such as yours.
It is hard for families to deal with such scenseless act, everyone deals differently with the grief. Sometimes just being in the room with someone you love will ease the pain,It is hard to believe God would allow such a thing to happen, but allow yourself to look to him for guidance and always remember the good times,and the wonderful gift she was to you and your family. From what Jane says she was a gift to alot of people, Ibelieve that you Debbie and R were a gift to her during some of lifes hard times. Jessica I have never met your mother, but I have read her comments and know that she is a strong compassionate women, and someone that you could model your life after. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Jane you have once again shown us why we look to you for inspiration. You would not believe there could be anything in this tragic story, to help people keep their faith. When you read the comments and see what people will do for another person, It is because you have made us understand the loss and the grief this family bears, and makes us want to take some of the burden of their shoulders, so they will know they are not alone.
Jessica,
Jane said your Aunt Terry, was happiest doing for someone else. If you haven’t already you could go through a church or Ladies group
and do something for a needy family in her name. My family did this when we lost my brother. This year Mom felt it was hard to do, but when you see smile of the recipient, it reminds you how happy it made your family member, we have done this for 35 yrs. It gives you something to replace the bad with the good,and fills your heart with pride that you had this person in your life. IT may be hard at first, but it does take away some of the violence.
Debbie May God Bless You And Your Family,,,,,,,,,,,,Lynda S
dear terry’s family i have the emails for 3 psychics, that i have watched on court t.v. many times. they are the real thing, they. if i had an email address to send them to one of the family , they would reply i am sure. they either like to hear from the family or the police dept. nancy myer. is usually called in when the police have exausted their investigation. there is certainly nothing to lose and much to gain. my email
All,
Our family draws strength from your words of wisdom, your thoughts, prayers and love.
I believe that Terry’s story will receive media attention and hopefully someone that knows something, even the smallest detail will come forward. Just like every other family member who loses a loved to murder, I want justice for my sister.
Debbie
just dropping in quickly, doing the july 4th holiday rush– I am so glad you wrote about this case jane, thank you.
dont need to edit my post. love ya all– on vacation starting now. hopefully can join you on QV chat next week–but not really back till the following week.
Dear Debbie:
It is such a pleasure to be able to help you and your family on behalf of your sister Terry. We thank you for your kind words of appreciation. We hope the efforts here will spark an interest in someone who knows information to help with your sister’s case. We also hope we can help ease the pain you and your family have and are going through. God bless you. We continue to pray. Love and hugs to you and your family.
Well I have alot to say about this issue. Those who know me know that I have been harrassed and threatend by my husband. A restraing order was issued in April against my husband and because it took over a month for him to be served by the process server he was allowed to continue to threaten me and my family.
On June 13th my husband called my home and told me he was comming over to slit my throat. I called the police and a I was given a report number. On Saturday June 23rd he called my home again and said he was going to kill me and hung up the phone. It took the police an 45 min. to get to my home. My husband saw the police car and when the officer left he called again and called my every name in the book.
I called the police again and while the officer was here at my home he called an 12 times and on the final message while the officer was listening he said I have nothing to loose by comming over and beating your F…ing against the wall.
I was told I had to leave my home I was babysitting my two grandsons and had to pack them in the car. It was 2:00 in the morning and I was a sobbing wreck.
I was contacted by a police dective that said they had been in contact with him and that he would be arrested but then turned the tables on me. The woman detective asked when the last time I had called him was and claimed my husband said I was the one calling him. The detective told me they needed to supena his records along with mine.
Ok let’s see….. He broke the restraing order how many times and the police don’t give a crap. He lives a mile from my home but in a diffrent city. I not only a victim of him but of the Chandler, Arizona police department because they dont care about domestic violence because unless it’s you or a family member they dont care.
This is how it works you dont have a fighting chance until its to late. The man threatens you and then snaps and kills you and himself or tries to blame someone else.
Deb,
I hope you are never left alone.
Print your story here with a picture of ‘him,’ if you can, give it to everyone including your local newspaper.
Churches in your area should know. I hope you belong to one.
Tell everyone in your neighborhood and those you work with, this story.
Change your telephone number, and surround yourself with a circle of friends and family.
Take a course in self-defense, if you can.
Learn and search the Internet for ‘self defense,’ information to help guide you, here is one example:
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html
I Pray, The Lord protects you, and guides you, giving you some comfort and peace.
My heart goes out to you.
Deb,
I am concerned for your physical safety.
Please don’t wait until the next time. I beg you to seek help from The National Domestic Violence Hotline which is staffed 24 hours a day. Or please contact the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
I know that you take his threats seriously, but you need to take action to protect yourself. I have copied their internet contact information for you.
National Domestic
Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence
301 E. Bethany Home Rd.
Phoenix, AZ 85013
Phone: 602-279-2900
FAX: 602-279-2980
TTY: 602-279-7270
1-800-782-6400
E-mail:
Please let us know what we can do to help. I will keep you in prayers that you will find the courage and strength to seek help.
Debbie
DEAR DEB, THE FIRST STEP IS THE HARDEST, BUT YOU CAN DO IT.. PLEASE CALL THE NUMBERS THAT LOGICAL GAVE YOU. IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU TAKE ACTION NOW. YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. THIS WILL NOT GET BETTER.. YOUR HUSBAND HAS THREATENED YOU. THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE IS STAFFED WITH A WELL TRAINED STAFF. THEY WILL DIRECT YOU TO A SAFE SHELTER. I PRAY FOR YOUR SAFETY. GOD BLESS YOU,J
Logical and Jimi,
You sure had better advice to offer than I could think of.
Deb,
Don’t wait, don’t hesitate.
Jane,
I hope to read another comment posted here from Deb real soon.
To know she has taken action, would help my anxiety.
May God Bless!
oh deb, what can we do to help you ?Deb i live in North Carolina and if you can make it here i will help you i am not riche but you know that friendship is more than money can buythe reason i didnt put where i live is because you know where i am you can call me you have my number please let us help you hide for noe to they c an put in behind bars. i have a friend who is a judge i will talk to him next week sometime or when i can get in touch with him. deb put something on the web site everyday just to let us knowyou are allright
gagi
hate to say it but, if your husband is goodlooking or has a winning way about him. i would not trust having a woman detective. sorry to say that but , it is sometimes true. i would want to deal with a man. and i would’nt care if the detective knew. that would put her on notice also. crazy things happen, and i would not let it go deb. tell him you are armed and dangerous now. and believe me , i would be.
Dear Deb,
As you know so well now, the police are not always the most effective resource in dealing with threats of violence. In some cases, their hands are tied by the law, in others they may not have sufficient evidence, and in others still they may not be familiar with applicable laws, or they may use poor judgment.
Even when cases involving harassment and physical threats make it to court, the remedies are often not what the victim expected. 10 days, 30 days. . .and their abuser is out again. The sentences meted out are often not much more when actual physical violence occurs, and are rarely enough in any case to give the abused one a sense of justice.
Women, especially, do not like to pull up their roots. They want, instead, the justice system to work for them, as if it was always a fair and just world. Ideally, yes, abusers would get longer sentences and the police would be able to protect their victims from further harm when the abusers are back in society. But it’s not an ideal world. Too often, for someone in your position, it’s not even one that feels like it’s trying.
Shelters for the abused are not often the nice, homey places people see on TV. Sometimes they are 8 x 8 rooms with cement walls and bunk beds, shared chores, and shared meals, and they leave the abused feeling as if they are the ones in prison. Often, too, the resources offered by such programs are less than adequate — amounting to a bus pass, food stamps, and legal aid in filing a restraining order like the one you already have, and that wasn’t effective in the first place.
I don’t know what your personal situation outside of what you’ve shared, but I do know this, Deb. You only have one life. And when others cannot protect that life as it deserves to be protected, you have to do everything you can to save yourself.
I have pulled up my roots several times for various reasons. It was never an easy or pain-free process, and I faced some huge obstacles and horrible circumstances — but you know, Deb? I am still alive. I can look back on those situations and those times, and realize that while they were neither just nor fair, they were temporary.
Victims can be stronger than their perpetrators. Not physically, perhaps, but in terms of bravery, courage, and self-care. I wish that for you, Deb. And if, after thoroughly exhausting every other resource, you have to pull up your roots in order to save your life, I would hope that you would do it.
oh jane , why didn’t i say that?
Thank you Jane. Good advise I thought I was the only one that was feeling punished for his violence against me. I can overcome this as my sister says and things will get better. I made a mistake by marrying him and it’s time to start new. I shall survive this even if I dont’t have a smile on my face. I have a smile in my heart he will never have!!!!
Granny Hugs!!!!!
deb
Deb
I am from a family of 9, 7 females and 3 of us have had to leave our home town. It is an awful feeling to leave family and freinds when they are needed the most. It is one of the most unfair things in life unfortunately sometimes nessasary. Some men are just bullies, some are more serious, only you can make that judgement. If you can you could make arangements, with family or freinds out of town. You can open a bank acount at a new bank or check with yous to see if you can have access from another town. Make a list just like you would for a regular move. If you work see if you can transfer, tell your boss what is happening, just in case you don’t come to work. If you have prescriptions check about access from another pharmacy,make sure you have enough in case it takes awhile for new Dr. The thing is think ahead and it won’t be as bad. Don’t be embaressed to tell people that should know, most are very understanding, your welfare is the most important thing. It worked out well for my sisters and myself and it wasn’t forever.
Deb I forgot something, check with police and see if mace or something similar is legal, get what is called a rape whistle, their is one that has a pin it hooks on purse and your hand if the pin is pulled it is loud enough to wake the dead. Investigate, you don’t know what you might find.
May God keep you safe.
Lynda S.
Dear Logical,
You know I was reluctant at first, to get to ‘know’ who’s who.
Lynda,
WOW, what a huge family!
Deb Armata,
Sure was good to read you’re doing OK.
QV,
I sure miss your website, your blog, or whatever you want to call it!
DEB , PLEASE PUT A NOTE OF SOME SORT UP EVERYDAY JUST TO SAY YOU ARE FINE, AND WE WILL MAKE UP A CODE WHERE YOU ARE AND WHO IS WITH YOU SOUND LIKE CLOAKAND DRAGGER. OH MY GOD YOU KNOW I CANT SPELL, SORRY BUT I BET YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LOVE YOU DEB I WILL BE CALLING PLEASE POST A NOTE EVERYDAY ONE IN THE MORINNING AND THE OTHER NITE GAGI
Dear Deb,
I agree with the others please get help and please post so we will know you are OK. We will continue to pray for you and your safety, and Granny love and hugs back to you!!!!
Dear Jane,
What a great person you are, my husband and I read your post what good advice and you are so right. Keep up the wonderful writing, great articles and compassion and love you have for others. Did you ever think your site would be such a help? WOW!
Our family wishes to extend our gratitude for the many thoughts, prayers, and gracious efforts that each you have made towards obtaining justice for Terry. It is our prayer that this will be the last year that Terry’s case will remain unsolved.
Either Jane or Terry’s family members will continue to update you through the dedicated web page of any progress made towards finding justice of Terry. If you are interested in how you can help, please contact Jane Devin.
Anybody with any information about this crime may call Nebraska Crime Stoppers anonymously at (402) 371-7300.
Deb,
Don’t ever give up and don’t give in either. Log everything. Make everyone aware including your neighbors. Is your neighbors trustworthy enough to monitor around your house for you while you are home or away? Be aware of mutual friends also. He can use them to lure or coax you out of your comfort zone. If you cannot get the police to move fast or take this seriously, contact your local TV station. I wish there was more that I can do. Tape record every conversation and phone call that your ex made to you. Always , always be aware of your surrounding. Don’t ever let your guard down. Stay strong Deb.
Love you
Take care of yourself Deb,
You are stronger than you may think!
Money seems to be the biggest problem,
and leaving behind personal belongings,
and sometimes, pets.
But, where there’s a will there’s a way!
Do whatever is necessary, for yourself.
Love Always,
Freida
P.S.: Please post a comment, tonight and let us know that you are alright… Okay? And don’t lie to us or yourself…Do whatever you must.
We want to continue hearing from you. You give the rest of hope and strength.
Deb, this site includes helpful information for those who are being
abused. Please check it out. Love you…dani
http://www.myspace.com/love_doesnt_hurt
Dear ALL:
Thank you all for the love, support and prayers you have given to Debbie and the rest of the family of Terry Armstrong. I have read every post and am amazed at how many caring people there are that want to see JUSTICE FOR TERRY. I realize it isn’t only due to the burtal murder, but also for the safety of everyone that will come in contact with her killer / killers. Thank you so much for the calls, research, letters, emails that yall have done in order to help. Please keep everyone in NE, that is working and that has worked on this case, in your prayers.
Deb:
I see you haven’t posted for a couple of weeks. I pray you are safe.
TO ALL: I have a place for each and everyone of you when I pray.
Jackie (Terry’s sister)