. . . a Folly.
Jun 21st, 2007 by Jane Devin
Write what you know. . .
a standard piece of writing advice, origin unknown
She was an unlikely muse for an unbelievable story. Beautiful, but troubled. Hard-headed, but short-sighted. Brave, but fearful. A grown woman, but in many ways still the little girl from Texas, weaving colorful dreams from the drab scraps of reality. She wanted to be like Marilyn Monroe. She wanted to be a cherished sex kitten, but Anna was always more of a tigress, and a wounded one at that. Instead of purring, she prowled. In place of delicate femininity, there was rough-hewn sex appeal. Where Marilyn lightly teased, Anna boldly exposed.
In life, Anna’s rawness was cherished, but only by a few. The larger public found it too easy to take potshots. . .
Stop. Did any of that ring true? It may have, at least for some, but that is only because we share a similar perception. About a life that is not our own. About a person we knew only through her brief time in the public spotlight.
This writer did not know her. Not only that, I don’t know anybody who did. My access to her true story, the one left untarnished and untouched by the media, was not just limited, but virtually non-existent.
How about this.
It should not matter how you or I feel about Howard. Whether we think he’s Dannielynn’s rightful father and Anna’s best friend, or something else. What should matter, to every person who cares about “innocent until proven guilty” — to every person who cares about integrity, justice, and fairness — is that the media should not have the power to wholesale and purposely destroy a man’s life and reputation based on nothing more than gossip and hearsay.
That’s better. I watched the media in action. I heard the accusations. I did not need to know anything about Howard personally to write about the recklessness I witnessed. In fact, this column, “The Organized Destruction of Howard K. Stern,” resonated not only with many people on the internet, but with Howard’s family and attorneys. I was humbled to receive an email from his parents and a phone call from the Florida lawyer handling Howard’s appellate case.
Regardless of what any writer says (and means) about writing for themselves, it is always satisfying to know that their work merited the appreciation of someone else. In this case, it was also moving. As with every article I post, I hope it will make a difference to someone, somewhere. That it made even a slight impression on those closest to Howard and his case was gratifying. It may not have given Nancy Grace or Geraldo Rivera a reason to pause and reconsider, but it still made an impact, becoming one of the top posts and one of the most linked.
Still, I don’t know Howard K. Stern. Not personally, and not even slightly through the press coverage of others. I had a couple of “sources” – one fickle, one reticent – but in the end, as with Anna, I had only my perceptions, bolstered by the small amount of facts known to the public.
Had I stopped writing when press-tamer Lin Wood came aboard, and the media’s all-out assault withered into baby punches, I might have walked away from this story feeling decent. About myself and the writing both.
But do you remember the chase for the quarter I told you about in the beginning? The curiosity that motivated me to work from sunup to sundown only to see what the ending would be? Despite the various hardships my curiosity has caused me, I have never really tried to subdue it. In the bleakest and most desolate days of my childhood, it was only intense curiosity that kept me alive. If I died, I would not know what happened the next day, the next year, or ten years from now. Somehow that thought was always a sobering counterweight to any thoughts of suicide I entertained. Since then, I have a tendency to nurture, rather than chasten, my curious nature.
In this story, curiosity led me to write about many things. The press and Howard K. Stern. Anna’s childhood, her family, and particularly her mother, Virgie Arthur. Larry Birkhead. Daniel and Dannielynn. Facts and commentaries. Even poems and short stories flowed from this story “not my own” and never belonging to me.
I look back now and I see how wrong it all was. To write so intently and for so long about people I didn’t know and had no ties to. Reporters, of course, do it all the time, but they have sources. People who care about what they write or say, and who are willing to participate in the process in order to have the truth be known.
But I am not a reporter, and never wished to be. I am a writer, and not even one who makes a full living at the craft. My stories float around the ether of cyberspace rather than land solidly into print. Despite the generous praise of those who have shared my perceptions along this journey, the hard truth is that in the world of writers, I am considered a mediocre talent. Hardly worthy of being the voice readers here might feel I represent – or even the voice I wanted to be. As I said in Pt. 2, “It may be, too, that I’m not really a writer, but a worker who writes. . .”. There’s really no “may” about it. That is the truth.
I need you to know this. I need to balance all the praise and support you’ve given me with at least this one certain fact: I had no “in” during this effort. No reliable or decent source. No one outside of you, public information, and my own perceptions. And really, that was not enough, not as the story continued and the questions grew more complicated. I went beyond “writing what I know” into writing what I could only guess at.
In “Activism on the Internet,” I asked several people if they would repeat their efforts in the future. Most said they would. My mode of activism was somewhat different, and so is my answer. I know that I’ll never again join this type of effort, especially online. I know that without first-hand knowledge of the people involved, the story cannot ever go beyond being skin-deep, and that dwelling at the surface for too long ultimately has no value. It becomes an act of self-indulgence, and an exercise in impotence.
You asked me why I no longer desire to write about Anna, Howard, and all the characters on the side. This is the largest part of the reason. It was folly to attempt to write anything meaningful about people I don’t know.
The smallest part – the one that has been bombinating around the internet like some pesky fly – is something I don’t care to write about. It’s idiocy. Stupid accusations, fools with delusions of grandeur, and lies layered upon broken confidences. A shattering of good faith and trust, for the sake . . .what? The motivations don’t really matter to me since none were positive. I just find the claim that it was all ”for Howard’s sake” preposterous.
I promised you an end, and this is it. It is time to move on to other stories.
edited 7/5.
Jane
I am so sorry you were treated so badly by the “two fools”.. I was not aware of what actually went on only heard bits and pieces here and there. There was no need for me to know more.. Except it hurts to know that you were hurt. You are such a joy and so talented , obviously have a true understanding of human nature, and “real” people feelings. Every time you write a new piece I can actually feel what you are writing.
You are appreciated by many many people.. I thank you.
Still bitting my nails here Jane….this is getting better…I love ya….Great job
Jane:
I was very upset with you when the saga began because my pro-Larry messages were not permitted on your site. At times, I deleted the link to “Jane Devin,” vowing never to think of the site again. But it was your writing that intrigued me, even if I didn’t agree with all of the content.
Please don’t say your writing is “mediocre” because it is not. You write in a way that people can understand. I love it! There are only a few writers whose words I savor… Like John Irving, you have a way of putting the words together in a unique way.
The quarter, yes, and what a great instinct, and one that you should not dismiss, never, ever.
Factual? A reporter is suppose to be that, and they weren’t. But no matter, cause you are not a reporter, you are a writer.
Folly to write anything meaningful? Are you kidding? You are a writer, that is you Jane. A very talented one at that. You harnessed facts and what many felt, and turned it into a story that we could all relate too and grow from. My brother wrote the NYT bestseller ‘The Alienist’. He did something similar. Maybe you wrote fiction, but all fiction is based on reality.
You are on the right track. Glad you got off of the farm, rented the studio, and rolled up your sleeves. I demand more. If you want to reach me to confirm what I am saying, contact QV, she has my email.
I feel despair in your post, and I am not happy about that.
You rock, don’t think anything else.
Love, a fan.
Bravo—
Jane,
The suspense is killing me, but I love it.
I will never be sorry that you started writing on behalf of Anna and Howard K Stern. If you did not I would never had the chance to read your wonderful articles. You are a gifted writer and you should be the one to write a book on all of this.
I hope the “two fools” get sick of eating all that chocolate.
Love You Jane,
Linda
Jane,
I think you are a wonderful writer. I am constanly reading books. I love historical romance novels and always have them on hand and go out and buy more before my present cache is depleted…wouldn’t want to run out. In my mind’s eye, books are so much better than almost anything on TV.
I think, with books, one can draw the background pictures themselves. I think that’s one reason I find books more interesting. The writer describes the scenery and characters and writes the story, but I’m the one who gets to color in that scenery and “flesh out” the characters more vividly. I’ve seen several made for TV movies of books that I’ve read, and I hardly reconized the story at all. They left out huge chunks (for time’s sake) and didn’t even try to smoothly link what was left, together.
I thought to myself, wow, the book was so much better.
When I read your articles, I am curiously calmed. There is something about your writing that soothes the soul, no matter what the subject matter.
I would love to see you write a novel. I for one would buy it, no matter what it was about( as long as it was a love story lol.)
Seriously though, I do think you are at LEAST as good as any author whose books I’ve read and I’ve read books from some of the top authors. I don’t read any trashy books either.
Waiting to read the rest Jane.
Oh Jane, one more thing. I too am glad you wrote about Howard and the way he was being treated in the media. I always felt so much better after reading one of your articles.
My heart still aches for him and his family.
Joni “When I read your articles, I am curiously calmed. There is something about your writing that soothes the soul, no matter what the subject matter.”
–I second that comment big time!
While it is true that we only get to scratch the surface of any story not our own, at least you gave a safe place for mutual scratching! The unresolved nature of this story is not unique. The public, in general, has become spoiled by Hollywood. We demand resolution… a clean ending to the story.
This is not fiction! These are lives still being lived. And formed by public perception. And judged in ways not fair to those directly involved.
I agree with you, Jane. I think we all felt a visceral pull towards the defense of an injured man. We all spent countless hours searching the vast world of the internet for information to sway negative opinions.
It didn’t matter. It still does not matter. Any more time spent on delving into the minutia of all the lives involved is purely self-indulgence. We all need to wean ourselves from the need for more information about everyone with lives intertwined with Anna Nicole Smith and spend more time involved with the people in our own lives.
It’s summertime! Time to enjoy school break, watch fireworks, swim in the ocean and catch lightning bugs! It is time to put the computers aside and live our lives.
And while it seems two people are choosing to live their lives through the internet, there is no meaningful life being lived. Being anonymous gives them a form of power. They can be anyone they choose to be on a particular day. They are not real or truthful and they are definitely not important to anyone but themselves. The hatred delivered from behind a screen makes them feel like a Goliath. They pat themselves on the back for calling strangers names and discounting the feelings and thoughts of others. Their sordid existence only serves to strengthen my belief that they feel justified in posting the ugly details of their private habits and personal insecurities thinking that the attention it gets them equals admiration, adoration and love on the scale of a celebrity.
Everyone… live your lives for you and those you love. Set priorities, as Jane has, and never take anything posted on a website that attacks you personally as truth.
The true draw for me to this saga was the puzzle. The excitement of following leads and finding connections and correcting inaccuracies kept me involved in the story. The pieces we were meant to find are in place and it is time to move on.
Thank You, Jane.
jane today i bought a globe rag mag i call it, with larry on the front, and there is a paragraph in there that says the network of out spoken internet users in kentucky, california and nassau, are burning up the phone lines and firing off complaints about the 34yr.olds[larry]life style. i have never seen in print or heard on any news programs anything about these internet posters, untill you and qv, started this . and NO ONE can take that away from you. no black blob can come close to what you and qv have done and are still doing. and that is , using common sense and taking off your pink colored glass and looking at this story as it really is, not as you or anyone else wanted, but the facts , you do not cover up, the facts you print whether you like it or not. like some ive seen just skirt the issues, because the main players talk to them now ,and have started a love fest with them, so they will write just HALF THE STORY. THAT IS SUCH A DISGUSTING COPOUT, I LOVE YOU AND QV JANE. . .
“Still, I promised you an end, and what could be a more fitting end to this folly than to speak about the two fools who have accused me of everything from sensationalism to plagiarism to being a media whore. I wasn’t their only target; in fact, I wasn’t even their primary one, but I incurred my share of defensive wounds. Given the choice, I would have ignored them – so would have many people. But they, and others, made that choice impossible.”
Jane:
As I have said before my motto is “consider the source”. What goes around, comes around as the saying goes.
The two fools who have maligned you and others will get their due as well the those others who have fallen into their trap. My only hope is that they enjoy the chocolates.
…….to be continued
Jane:
It has been such a welcome relief to sit in my little corner to read your daily writings. I just wish you were able to uncover more during your research, instead of being harassed and forced to stop. I can understand Howard’s people’s paranoia, since that poor man has been so brutally battered. I also feel bad for all your hard work, as it has benefitted me as much as it has others who felt equally welcome in your cyber home.
I hope that in the future I do not get mixed up again in something similar that will needlessly cause such frustration and grief. One thing I learned is that people are a lot more cruel and uglier than I thought. I sharpened my fangs and battled the ugly ones in vain.
Thank you for what you have written so far.
Dear Jane,
Don’t let anyone fool you. You are more than a mediocre Writer!
You said, “It should not matter how you or I feel about Howard. Whether we think he’s Dannielynn’s rightful father and Anna’s best friend, or something else. What should matter, to every person who cares about “innocent until proven guilty” — to every person who cares about integrity, justice, and fairness — is that the media should not have the power to wholesale and purposely destroy a man’s life and reputation based on nothing more than gossip and hearsay.”
That is why I came here, in the beginning, but it is not really why I keep coming back to your site. I come here to read ‘your stories,’ and I come here to read those that listen.
Love,
Freida
i put my [rose]colored glasses back on and took a walk around the web. persons are jealous of you jane, of your writing. and only “fools” would would try to emulate the way you write. i can tell “them fools” it ain’t workin
Kim A,
You tell us all to put our computers aside, to wean ourselves from the need for any more information, enjoy the summertime and families and to live our lives.
Some of us aren’t fortunate to have all our family members close by for one thing.
I, for one, have been doing the usual spring to fall ritual of taking care of nearly an acre of lawn, and that includes, trimming numerous shrubs, planting flowers and tending to numerous flower beds. My husband helps me with the mowing, but I do all the afore mentioned yard work, all the housework, including laundry, cooking etc., etc. You get the idea.
When it’s time for a much needed break, I come on my computer to rest a little and to check out my favorite sites. Please don’t presume what we all need to do with our time or our summer. With all due respect, I wouldn’t dream of telling you or anyone else how to spend their time or their summer.
Jane,
Again, I love reading your writings. You should continue to do so for Howard and all of us who still need you, regardless of whom hurt you or why. Letting these little fools win will not change a thing. I would continue what you do best and not worry one bit about what others say about you or us. I have always enjoyed reading here about the truth since we were not getting the whole truth from the media or anywhere else.
I feel your pain. I too have felt the need to be able to explain what bad things happened to me when I first came, but it’s never posted. It hurts, doesn’t it? I truly understand what you have gone through. But, I am not a writer and nor do I own my own site. Blessed there, you are. Maybe someday I will.
Thanks for letting us read your thoughts.
Jane,
Every now and then a writer will look at their work and feel like giving up. They wonder what it could all mean in the great scheme of life. Either their words seem hollow to them or the subject matter no longer seems important. True enough, you may not earn your living by writing, however, that does not negate the fact that you are indeed a wonderful writer. You have a God given gift.
Jane, you do write what you know. You write about abuse,
insecurity, loneliness, pain, fear, struggle, betrayal, guilt, irony and reputation. You also write about family, birth, death, joy and healing. Your strong sense of responsibility does not take you where you should not be. You have lived a very full life and you use the power of your words to bring understanding to all who read your work. For the last few months your writing has been tied up in the Anna Nicole saga and yet it has been about so much more. If we took all the names out of everything you wrote during that time, the story would still be the same and it would still be important. It would still call to us and it would still teach the same lessons. With each new story something deep within us was touched. Because of your gift we are profoundly changed.
Thank you Jane.
Dear Jane,
Folly - meaning from word dictionary;
1. unreason - thoughtlessness, recklessness, or thoughtless or reckless behavior
• She realized, too late, the folly of her course of action.
• It would be folly to continue.
2. irrational thing - a thoughtless or reckless act or idea
When we started this task we believed it was for a noble cause. In my heart I felt as if I was saving a man’s life from the ravenous wolves of the media. With the attitude of shot first and ask questions later.
We came to the rescue of a man who was so unfairly and unjustly being lynched by the media for a crime he did not commit, or so we believed. I acted on the perception of what I saw being presented by the media.
Were we unreasonable or irrational in our thinking, maybe?
Without you Jane, I would not have the knowledge, friendship or understand I do today. You brought this to light. You wrote the thought provoking articles that made us examine what was truly happening. You made us search our hearts and minds for what was real and not just a fairy tale. You made us understand that life is not always like a box of chocolates but like a jar of jalapenos. LOL You have made my life richer, fuller and with greater purpose. NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP WRITING! I think you sell yourself short and under estate your true value to all of us here. We love Jane.
Jane
Thank you for the articles that you have shared with us. I have really enjoyed reading them on a daily basis. If it wasn’t for you and QV, we would not have meet each other and friendships would not have been formed. We are a group of strong women (and men) that have come together to make a difference in the world and I believe that difference has been made. Can’t wait to read the last of your articles. Hopefully you’ll have it posted before I leave this afternoon for vacation.
Fools they are,but i also like to call them JOKERS’ as in cards, Jokers are wild, they can come at you in many forms colors , or names. they can be a king or queen or what ever they choose, to get close and closer, they still do it. and so do their decipiles. they are looking over your shoulder, waiting for any little tidbit they. but jane you and qv have been used enough
I can’t wait…keep up the good work!
As crazy as it sounds, these “two fools” kind of remind of Jim Jones of Jamestown. LoL without the laced Kool-aid. Mind control, leading all their followers in a corrupt path.
Jane,
I have spent the last two days reading and re-reading your archived articles. I have read and re-read “a Folly. . .” over and over again. I must tell you that while I generally agree with almost everything that you write, with this article I find myself disagreeing with almost everything you wrote.
You stated in this article that “I look back now and I see how wrong it all was. To write so intently and for so long about people I didn’t know and had no ties to”. Whether it made even a slight impression on those closest to Howard and his case is really not the issue. The issue is as you stated previously was “in response to the media’s attempts to destroy a man who had lost two loved ones in the course of a year with rumors and unfounded accusations”. Your intentions are and always were pure. While others sought media attention and personal recognition, your motives were never questioned by anyone other than the people who were guilty of their own accusations against you.
You say that “I know that I’ll never again join this type of effort, especially online.” I went back and re-read “On Blogging Howard K. Stern”. I understand your need for privacy and your life without conflict or strife which has indeed become your reward. However, you must recognize and appreciate your writing skills and talent that you have not only been blessed with, but have undoubtedly spent many years working diligently to refine and cultivate. You have the ability to articulate thoughts, feelings, and opinions that so many others struggle with.
You state “I went beyond “writing what I know” into writing what I could only guess at. Again I must disagree with you. I’ve read the comments that your readers have written and consistently I’ve read of how your writing has taught then virtues and valuable life lessons such as truth, justice/injustice, public opinion, and perceptions, abuse, betrayal, and forgiveness. Those are things that you know and have shared.
Yes, Jane Devin, you have left your mark on a small potion of the world and you have left a mark on our hearts. I don’t believe that your work is done. You are a writer, and your words have impacted and changed people and all over the world. So whether you use your skills and talent to write of injustice or you decide to write fictional stories, people will seek you for the truth and compassion that you bring to your writing. Like a ship at sea seeking a beacon of light, people will seek you. Whether you choose to write for the world or a small portion of the world or for yourself alone you have already won the battle, you are an author of more than mediocre talent and very worthy of being the voice of many readers and deserving of being published.
You should walk away from this story not only feeling decent about yourself and your writing, when you decide to walk away, you should walk away proud.
Jane,
You are selling yourself way too short on your literary talent. I don’t even agree with your viewpoint on Stern and yet I come here to read.
I reached my own opinions of HKS without taking to heart any of the talking heads on TV. (I do agree that the media was biased against Stern.) But I am very stubborn and always make up my own mind. I have analyzed this saga daily since Anna’s death and am still suspicious of Stern. However I don’t want to talk about that on this site. (I know this site was originally set up to support Stern.)
What I do want to say is that your writings are very meritorious and your lack of monetary rewards for them is really not relevant to their worth. I, for one, hope that you will not become discouraged and go away. I really enjoy your work.
Jane:
You know me, I have to read and reread each article and let it gel before I post my comments.
I am in TOTAL agreement with Logical. I know her and she is a smart lady and I hope that you will take to heart what she has said.
When you walk away from this story, I hope that you will do so proud, with your head held high and knowing that you have made an enormous difference in many lives.
All the best,
~M~
Jane,
I want you to know you have made a difference in people’s lives from your eloquent writings and believed in you. I am passing this story to
you irrelevant to your stories, but the big difference is YOU and how you’ve affected a lot of people. ” I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly”.
“Heart Test”
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class
on the very first day of school, she told the
children an untruth. Like most teachers, she
looked at her students and said that she
loved them all the same. However, that was
impossible, because there in the front row,
slumped in his seat, was a little boy named
Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year
before and noticed that he did not play well
with the other children, that his clothes were
messy and that he constantly needed a bath.
In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.
It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson
would actually take delight in marking his
papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s
and then putting a big “F” at the top of his
papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson
taught, she was required to review each child’s
past records and she put Teddy’s off until last.
However, when she reviewed his file, she
was in for a surprise.
Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is
a bright child with a ready laugh. He does
his work neatly and has good manners….
he is a joy to be around..”
His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an
excellent student, well liked by his classmates,
but he is troubled because his mother has a
terminal illness and life at home must be a
struggle.”
His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s
death has been hard on him. He tries to do
his best, but his father doesn’t show much
interest and his home life will soon affect
him if some steps aren’t taken.”
Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy
is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest
in school. He doesn’t have many friends and
he sometimes sleeps in class.”
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem
and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even
worse when her students brought her
Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful
ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s.
His present was clumsily wrapped in the
heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery
bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it
in the middle of the other presents. Some
of the children started to laugh when she
found a rhinestone bracelet with some of
the stones missing, and a bottle that was
one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled
the children’s laughter when she exclaimed
how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on,
and dabbing some of the perfume on her
wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school
that day just long enough to say, “Mrs.
Thompson, today you smelled just like my
Mom used to.” After the children left, she
cried for at least an hour.
On that very day, she quit teaching reading,
writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began
to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid
pa rticular attention to Teddy. As she worked
with him, his mind seemed to come alive.
The more she encouraged him, the faster he
responded. By the end of the year, Teddy
had become one of the smartest children in
the class and, despite her lie that she would
love all the children the same, Teddy became
one of her “teacher’s pets.”
A year later, she found a note under her door,
from Teddy, telling her that she was still the
best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note
from Teddy. He then wrote that he had
finished high school, third in his class, and
she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter,
saying that while things had been tough at
times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it,
and would soon graduate from college with
the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.
Thompson that she was still the best and
favorite te acher he had ever had in his
whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another
letter came. This time he explained that after
he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go
a little further. The letter explained that she
was still the best and favorite teacher he ever
had. But now his name was a little longer….
The letter was signed,
Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there. You see, there
was yet another letter that Spring. Teddy said
he had met this girl and was going to be married.
He explained that his father had died a couple
of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs.
Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding
in the place that was usually reserved for the
mother of the groom.
Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess
what? She wore that bracelet, the one with
several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she
made sure she was wearing the perfume that
Teddy remembered his mother wearing on
their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard
whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank
you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me.
Thank you so much for making me feel
important and showing me that I could
make a difference.”
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes,
whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have
it all wrong. You were the one who taught
me that I could make a difference. I didn’t
know how to teach until I met you! .”
(For those of you who don’t know, Teddy
Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des
Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
tia
Tiatze,
I am now sobbing. Thank you, so much!!!
Damn it Tia…
I’m at work and tears are running down my face. Now how does that look?
Logical,
You look beautiful tears and all. For every drop of tears in each and everyones lives is a rainbow waiting in the end. We all move on without regrets.
tia
TIA TIA TIA… WOW
Jane,
I think you’ve done what was meant for you to do and that was to show the world that love, compassion and understanding still exist to some of us and Hate can be overridden. I don’t think any of us knew Howard or Anna, but we felt love and compassion for them. Your writings made us think and analyze things that we very possibly never would have on our own. These writings that you penned, are not yours alone, but the one that led you to the keyboard in the first place. God.
I think you are a great writer, so be proud of the talent that you’ve been given. It doesn’t just belong to you, but to other people. That’s how we minister to others. Humility leads to greatness and you achieve true success when you give yourself to others. That, I believe you’ve done!
Jane,
There’s one more thing before I retire for the weekend. The journey that you were sent on brought together a lot of positive minds, listening not to the mad media, but thinking for themselves and listening to their own hearts. To me, your writings have done far more good to lots of people than tv ever could. They helped us to look inside of our own lives and ask ourselves what if we were in the same situation. How would we feel and who would care? There’s a great lesson to be learned from all of this. How can one say he or she loves God, whom they’ve never seen and hate their brother who they see every day? Wherever you go and whatever you do, BE PROUD because you have touched someone.
what is confusing me so much is the hate that spewed on larry now , by the people who worked so hard for the truth for howard. that is always what i meant, when you turn your back on the truths you don’t want to hear, and just tune in to the few that and totally ignore the rest. like i could name 3 FOOLS doing that now. Truth be told, larry is dannielynn’s father, whether anyone likes it or not. he has a hard task before him just getting on with his life. now we have the Sainlty howards ppl trashing him , simply because they are mad that howard is not the father. and the saint is helping lary so much. well he darn well should , and he should be forever grateful that larry LETS him help. but larry has dannielynns best interest at heart, and he has turned the other cheek. thanks jane
Alison started my morning off with a heartfelt letter that put a huge lump in my throat that lasted for hours. I came back this evening to respond, and the lump has only grown.
There’s a lot of ugliness in the world. Too much, and yes — it hurts. Even when we recognize the people who are hurting us for what they are — even when we know how wrong-minded, wrongly motivated they are — it hurts.
There will always be people in the world — on the internet and off — who are best avoided. The people who gather here are not those people. Whether we agree on a certain topic or not, we’re reasonable and respectful enough to talk about it, and find common ground.
I really cannot wait to get away from the ugliness that’s put a sad chapter at the end of what was, once, for me, a tender effort.
I don’t care about what stranger says what about the next part of this chapter. I won’t care what they say about me, or my writing, my character, or the tens of others of things they’ve managed to stick it to me with —
I will only care that it’s done. And that I spoke my heart while finishing. After that, I’d hope that most of you will stay on. It may be a smaller group, who knows, but in my way I’d prefer small, trusted and safe to the larger alternative.
For those of you who also write, the site will open for contributions from other authors sometime soon, and the topics will be wide-open.
Thank you all.
jane ,you have done yourself proud, through all these months and weeks of some happiness and some turmoil. but you did it and you wrote what was in your heart, and you did it with out the support you had in the beginning.. you did ‘nt wait for a call to edit your writings. . and what more is there for any one else to write about? its all done, except the rehashing of old news. its all out there. all that we can do. now it is for the professionals who REALLY know what they are doing to get to the bottom of the whole can of worms. lets let larry get on wiyh his life with his daughter. and wit or without howard ,it is his choice. let howard do what he wants to do. he will do it anyway. i will want to keep track of anna and larry’s chlld. she is what counts now/ the rest of them is old news
I too wish that Howard supporters would treat Larry with the kindness and respect that was denied to Howard, if for no one else but DL. Although I hoped with all my heart that Howard was DL’s father it wasn’t meant to be. No one in this case is innocent, not even Anna and Howard. Each adult made mistakes.
It is to Larry’s credit that he allows Howard to be involved with DL. Many men would not let the man who played a part in missing their daughters first year of live anywhere near his child.
Larry still isn’t my favourite person in the world but clearly he loves his daughter and he fought hard (if not dirty) for her. I have faith that Larry will raise his daughter well. DL is truly blessed to have the love and dedication of two men.
Thank you Jane for writing about this story all this time. It helped me put my own feelings about this story into perspective when I really had no other outlet.
Hey Jane!
I DO understand where you’re coming from and why you’ve posted your last article. I feel the same way. I have spent countless hours (as you know - LOL) researching Anna’s family with some strange pull to understand her and where she came from. I have learned lots about her but in the end, I’m afraid that what I’ve learned about me, is disapointing. Why have I allowed myself to get lost in all of this? What on earth have I done with the past three months of my life?
Yes Jane. I do understand you. Something touched and compelled me. I don’t really understand it. I have a notion but I am lost as to why this ever became so important. (I know no one who is directly involved and have nothing to offer that is of particular relevance to their lives.)
Nonetheless, the difference between you and I is that you write and can reach people with your ability to communicate. You most definitely have insight and relevance to offer. You have the ability to touch people (as you have touched me) and THAT, Jane, makes all the difference.
One last point here. Jane. When you write. When you put yourself “out there” (on the internet, in a magazine, in a book - whatever)…AS SOON as you do that, you take on a responsability…To yourself and to your readers. As frightening as that may be, it is so…And if you are as brave, courageous and CURIOUS as you have inadvertantly led us to surmise…You will rise to the challenge of the responsabilities that you have created for yourself!
Be brave.
We are here.
: )
Jane:
All that I have wanted to say has been said. I found your site through TMZ. I was someone that could not bear the media and internet frenzy that surrounded Anna Nicole and Howard K Stern. At first I thought I would find facts about people involved in this terrible tragedy. What I found was someone who believed as I did about the way a man was being treated. I no longer looked for proof of innocence or guilt, I looked for compassion, integrity and a belief in standing for justice and fair play, that is what I found. I also found a little girl with enough belief in herself, that she grew into that strong compassionate woman. You have given me some of that strength, when I find life difficult, I remember that little girl and her quarter. Jane, When you write you give a little piece of yourself, the words flow, they flow right into my heart. To me your writings are not about any one person, or any one story, they are about life and family and friends.From every comment I find another source of strength, I realize there are still people in this world with a belief in other people. You are a writer in the truest sense of the word,what ever anyone says. You started this to defend a man that was being unfairly treated, and we came to stand with you, and it seems we still do. Don’t let anyone take away that little girl and her quarter.
Tiatze:
I don’t know whether to cry or feel proud for Mrs. Thompson.
That is what people should think of every morning, before starting their day.
Thank you
Tiatza
Jane,
You have inspired me, and I worry a little about you. I know you’re strong, so strong…however, I have no idea of what all you have really had to deal with or what you are going through.
Not everyone has given you the credit you deserve. I know I didn’t, on several occasions I have been disrespectful. And, believe me I feel regret. I am only human. But, hopefully I have made you laugh.
I am so humbled by your down-to-earth decency, I am in awe.
So, just in case you become really famous, in fact, I have no doubt you already are, remember to take care of you and your daughter first.
Anna was famous (that means well known, right?), yet, we never really knew her at all? But, then, maybe we did! Maybe we have what they call women’s intuition, or insight…and maybe we know you, too.
The picture I saw of Howard holding the tiny baby, Dannielynn reminded me of my husband when he first held our daughter. And, Anna’s C-section reminded me of mine, and what a man goes through, when they witness the birth of a child for the very first time. Bless his heart he was so helpless and tired.
Here I go drifting away, again.
Anyway, take care of yourself, my dear Jane.
http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/does_fame_bring_happiness_
Lynda,
I feel proud for Mrs. Thompson…she read and she learned to love.
Thanks again, Tiatze.
Hi Jane,
This is outstanding!
It really got to me…!!!
First impressions are created within the first few seconds. On a job interview, the person being interviewed does not get the chance to walk out the door and back in, in hopes of changing the prospective employer’s mind.
Similarly, when Larry filed the lawsuit against Anna and chose to air his dirty laundry to the media, did he expect the public to take his side? Apparently, Daniel’s death was insignificant to him. After knowing Anna for two years, did he not understand how devastating Daniel’s loss would have been to Anna and how inappropriate the timing was for that public display? Was he concentrating so hard on “I” “Me” and “Myself” that he did not care how it affected Anna? That was a huge chance he took. In addition, the nasty e-mails continued. Did he leave his heart on the shelf while going on that revenge rampage?
While in the Florida court when the judge asked him if he loved Anna, his answer was clear to me that he did not. His actions have spoken loud and clear that the womb that carried his donation was just a depository. If he has not been given respect it is because he has not respected others. Should Larry be respected because of Dannielynn? Why? What respect did Dannielynn’s mother get?
Larry continues to be deeply in love with Larry. Dannielynn is being groomed to be another Jon Bennet and she has already contributed handsomely to a lifestyle that would have been out of Larry’s reach.
Siring a child does not automatically canonize a person. It does not take a special, loving person to impregnate or be pregnant. It is a natural process and often unnintended. It even happens sometimes as a result of a violent act. A parent must prove his or her worthyness. We will need to wait a few years before we can declare Larry a worthwhile father, annoint him and place a halo on his head, Joli.
Tiatze,
What a wonderful story about Mrs. Thompson and Dr. Stoddard, you never can tell what a little love can do in a person’s live.
Hope things are going well for you and your family. I’m praying daily for your daughter, hope everythng works out.
Isabel,
I agree with your post (#43). At first I was on the fence where Larry was concerned but, the more I see of him, I think that Larry is looking out for Larry. Admittedly, on the surface, he appears to love Dannielynn very much but, actions speak louder than words and, his actions, are beginning to bother me. It is obvious that he thinks of himself as a rock star since, he has addressed this, numerous times on his appearances on various TV interviews. However, Dannielynn shouldn’t be portrayed as a rock star; he is her father but, that doesn’t give him the right to have GVS, LK and GR, bring their ratings up, by having Dannielynn in front of their cameras. He only has had custody of her a short time before doing this - I hate to think what will happen during the next eighteen years, after which time, she will be old enough to choose whether, or not, she wants this lifestyle for herself. I believe that Larry thinks that Dannielynn is his ticket to fame. Shame on you Larry! I am falling off the fence and I don’t think I shall be landing on your side of it.
Tia #26,
I was so touched by the message that you wrote and the story that you shared with Jane. I shared the story this morning with my very best friend who is an elementary school teacher and she was thinking about quitting teaching. She said “she was not sure she was really making a difference.” So I read her the story and we both began to cry and she said “this story and our talk had changed her mind she was going to continue teaching.” Thanks again.
WOW! The power of what a few kinds words can do!
Isabel, what a great post. I feel exactly the same way. Someone has to earn a person’s respect and until he does that and keeps that darling baby away from the cameras, he’ll never get an ounce of mine. He’s not mature enough to be raising anything let alone a human being. I’m not saying that to be unkind, it’s just the truth.
Giving a child everything possible is just going to spoil that child and that child will always expect everything to be given to her without earning it. Larry, look at these young, rich, spoiled brats I keep seeing in the news and all the trouble they keep getting into. Larry has no idea what all to instill in her, because he hasn’t figured it out himself. I really do fear for her future.
jane all i can say is wow! you are so amazing. can’t wait to read whats next. love ya.
dianne, how you can say larry fought dirty for his daughter amazes me. take a look at the other side, who was doing all the lying and trying to cheat larry out of his flesh and blood. how anyone you you ppl can just ignore what howard did is beyond me, and i was truly a believer at first. but looked at the reality of everything, and howard wwas wrong . and what ever he is doing now is, nothing compared to what he should be doing. and i hope and pray, that larry never lets him near dannielynn again
Unfortunately, too many of the people came to this blog initially because it was originally 100% pro-Howard. I was 100% pro-Larry but I never believed that Howard committed any crime. I simply thought it was wrong - and a violation of Dannielynn’s rights - to not do the DNA test to find out who the father was.
Otherwise, my wish all along was to have harmony and unity between the two men, rather than armed camps.
I did keep an open mind and I think things have turned out as well as they possibly could have with Howard and Larry.
However, I find it very frustrating and profoundly sad that some Howard supporters are still SO anti-Larry. Give the guy a chance! He IS a celebrity whether he likes it or not. People DO admire him for the way he comported himself and he does seem to be a nice person.
Now he needs to get a REAL job.
thank you linda. no one was anymore pro howard that i was. and i so wantrd him to be the father,at that time. but has i go along with eyes wide open, i know that howard knew all along he was not the father. after all he was the last man standing. anna did’nt have anyone else to ask. that does not take away what he said he would do and is doing in the name of anna and her estate. that is an other story. bottom line . most howard supporters are mad because he is not the father, but why take it out on larry. for anna’s aske and dannielynns sake, larry should be supported as dannielynns father, and leave the rest alone, when he said before dannielynn came along ,his life was a joke, of course the first thing iheard was how can i believe him. so far i really cannot prove one lie he has told,unlike howard, but ppl better get the stars out of there eyes, it ain’t over til is over
So Vivian, what exactly opened your eyes.
Linda,
Larry has been given a chance, and he blew it bigtime right off the bat, by putting that baby and himself in front of the cameras and continues to do so. Larry just can’t get over himself.
Joni, Howard and Anna also put that baby in front of the cameras right off the bat. Howard videoed Anna having her C-Section. They sold that video, and they also sold pictures of Daniel that was taken right before he died so how can you condemn Larry for doing the same thing Howard and Anna done without condemning them also???? I see so much of that on this website.
Isabel #43…Wonderful comments. I agree that “Daniels death was insignificant to Larry” - He concentrates on Me, Myself and I” - “If he has not been given respect he has not given respect to others” - “Larry continues to be in love with Larry” - “Dannielynn contributes handsomely to a lifestyle that would have been out of Larry’s reach”
Gabrielle #45… Wonderful comments. I agree that “Larry thinks of himself as a rock star” - “Larry is looking out for Larry” - “Larry thinks that Dannielynn is his ticket to fame”
Joni #47… Wonderful comments and I also fear for Dannielynn’s future.
Linda #50… I think some of us may appear to be “Anti-Larry” because his actions have left us with no where else to go with our feelings. I think all of us would love to have faith in him but as yet he has never given us a reason to be “Pro-Larry”. His actions have totally turned me against him. I’m trying to see something in him that deserves respect but from the beginning I have never seen him in a positive light. I have doubts that he is sincere about anything, or has anyone’s best interest at heart except his own. I sincerely hope that I am wrong.
Rose, as Howard once said “Anna knew what the public wanted and she gave it to them”. She wanted the c-section filmed (remember they forgot the camera and she make Howard rush back to get it). What Anna and Howard gave us was what we wanted to see and it just seemed to be sincere, sweet, honest. As Joni said, Larry “blew it big time right off the bat”
We learned to love Howard and Anna from what they shared with us but totally different emotions from what Larry has shared with us. He taught us to be Anti-Larry but we learned to love Anna and Howard.
Anne #55… I agree with everything you stated. I particularly agree with your reply to Linda.
Vivian,
I was hoping this story could wind down with a collegial meeting of the minds. It reminds me of ‘connect the dots’ where we all may have had access to the same scant dots, but managed to connect them in such a way as to create vastly different pictures. Each one of us thought we were advancing truth and justice, we just saw things from different angles. All of us, on either side of the argument, were either effectively vauching for the integrity of, or casting doubt on the credibility of people who we realistically knew very little about. It’s also easy to offer a zealous opinion when we have nothing invested in the actual case. How many of us would be willing to donate to the legal fund of either Howard or Larry, if asked to? And if so, how much? Suddenly the intensity of feeling would diminish for both camps.
If you defend unknown personalities rather than principles you are taking a giant leap of faith that you’re backing the right horse. If your efforts are aimed at preserving the integrity of the process– objectivity, fairness, empirical fact finding, etc…, your efforts will always be well spent.
Rose, I think it was you who pointed out the irony of some the hardcore Larry haters accusing him of exploiting the baby for money when Howard and Anna and Howard post-Anna did the exact same thing. Surely they don’t think the ET deal would have suddenly ended if DL was still with Howard. So many of the accusations can be mirrored right back at the other side.
I do concede that it sounds like everything Larry has been saying on this PR junket is being spoken for posterity. As though he’s video-archiving for when DL is old enough to start doing some research. I’d also feel better if the picture-taking was limited to family photos. His willingness to let her live her life in private will shape my opinion of him. But at this point, I still wish him well.
Anne, Larry also gave the public what they wanted, the public wanted to see that baby and he provided. Anna and Howard made their living off of pictures, interviews, etc just as Larry is doing but Larry is the bad guy for doing it. He is Dannilynn’s Father and he has the right to provide pictures just and Anna had the right to provide videos of her C-Section
TIA!! I’m a bit late but thank you for the story… that was beautiful and a wonderful compliment to Jane’s article..
Hope all is well with you and yours….
having spent a lot of time doing jury duty,i hope i know better than to judge somone by their personality. in this case it would be hard. who knows anything about the real howards personality. none of us. and this was one time i did take my self off the jury,and i went with my heart , that howard was being crusified. and i worked many hours with many ppl to right that wrong, i still stand for everytthing we did, because the jury was in before there even should have been one. and he was guilty of EVERYTHING. NOW I HAVE PUT THAT TO REST, AND GO THE NEXT STEP. he lied about dannielynn, he knew it . he kept larry from his child and he did it because he did what ever a person with a mind never clear from drugs told him to do. that was wrong. he shold have not gone along with something that huge. then we have larry who was totally out of his league. money wise and smart wise. he never ran with the big boys. anna wanted him, wanted to have a baby by him, not by howard. anna wanted what she wanted, and howard did what ever to get it for her. larry did’nt agree with everythig she said. they had fights. she left, bad things were said on larrys side, annas side and howards side. but you know what, larry did not give up ghis fight for his child, and just because he is shy, and stumbles over his words and looks away when he is talkin g does not make him bad. . he just did what any decent person would do to get justice. and believe me i bashed him every step of the way, except in my jurist mind i knew better. and when he was named the father i cried like a baby, i was so dissapointed one because howard was not the father and 2 because after going over all the evidence i knew howard knew he was.t the father. actually i knew it before but i didnt want to accept that. so now every one is hates lary because he is the father and hoiward is.nt . thats how i see it larry will never be able to do anything to that the howard loves will agree to. i have seen no lies that i can pick out from larry. now as far as i am concerned howard has no business being part of dannielynns life. he does;.t deserve it. howard stern is not a saint not even close.
I hope I don’t offend anyone, but I think it is time to let Howard and Larry deal with their own problems. Things have been very quiet, I would imagine MR. Lin Wood has a lot to do with that. I know we could still find things about each person that we don’t like, but most things can’t be changed. I like seeing Danielynn, she is such a beautiful child, when ever I have seen her, she has a Hugh smile and her eyes are sparkling. You would never see that in a child that was not happy, or if she were ill. I hope we see her once in a while because we have invested a lot of time in her life. I don’t feel either man needs rescuing at this time . I know many of you did a lot of work, to see that Mr. Stern was treated with more respect. I don’t feel that there is any reason to take sides,,that is what started this whole thing. I know I can look at myself in the mirror knowing that I did what I could,and now I can do no more for these people. That doesn’t mean we can’t do for each other, I would miss reading all of your comments. Sometimes when I read a comment it strikes a cord in me, and I know we would all miss Jane and QV.
You didn’t offend me, Lynda, I essentially agree with your post. While I do hope Larry will keep Dannielynn away from the press more than he has to date, I think photos released every once in awhile are a good idea. She is such a beautiful baby, and yes, she looks totally happy and healthy. I pray she’ll be allowed her innocence in childhood. All children deserve that much. - Jane
Rose, then don’t come here.
#58 VIVIAN
You explained things much better than I did.
I really hate to say this,Jane I would not blame you if you cut me.
Sometimes good people do bad things,and sometimes we have to look past that. There are times when we have to let people get on with their lives, and keep our opinions to our selves. We can put to good use, the things we have learned about ourselves, a little closer to home. I would hate to see our part in this story end with friction.
Alison,
I would gladly donate money for all of Howard’s legal bills, but I don’t have it.
And as far as videos and pictures for posterity…. Larry should be taking them himself, not in front of cameras for TV and magazine rags.
Rose… Yes, Larry did give us what we wanted. We wanted to see Dannielynn and we got more, and more, and more of Larry. It is his REASON that I have a problem with. All we knew about Larry was that he knew Anna for 2 years, tried to make a name for himself by suing other celebrities and, as you say, he never ran with the big boys but it seems he sure wanted to and with Dannielynn he surely could. On the other hand Anna and Howard were famous, she was in pain and painted in a corner by Larry Burkhead. We hurt for her and with her - wanted to see how she, Howard and Dannielynn were doing - It was a love affair between them and us. They gave us what WE wanted. It just seems to me that Larry gives us what we want because of what HE stands to gain. The reasons are vastly different.
Vivian… IF Howard knew he was not the father (none of us really know for sure) I sincerely believe that everything he did and said was for the greater good and his way of protecting Anna and Dannielynn. It hurts me to hear you say that he does not deserve to be a part of Dannielynn’s life. He gave his all to Anna, Daniel and Dannielynn. You said you had heard no lies from Larry. What about him trying to make us believe that he and Anna had this great love affair, that she would be happy to know that he was the father, that maybe he “loved Anna too much”, statements trying to make Howard look like a fool and less important to Anna than himself, etc., etc., etc.. Maybe we can’t exactly call them lies but extreamly misleading and unbelievable. I think he knows better than that and I certainly have my doubts about most anything he says being the truth. He got exactly what he wanted (he’s famous)! and he will continue to try and make us believe that Dannielynn was all he wanted. Based on what I have seen and heard Howard deserves more than just being a PART of Dannielynn’s life.
Vivian, I never said Howard was a saint, and I don’t think I ever said I hate Larry.
What really makes me very uneasy are turncoats. I can’t trust anyone like that. It seems to me you are doing the exact same thing now with Larry, as you did with Howard. What is the difference? You’ve only transfered your alliegence from one man to the other, so don’t get upset with those of us who have remained in support of Howard.
Neither of them are without any faults and neither are any of us, including you.
But I think it’s odd when someone suddenly does an aboutface the way you have. It doesn’t sound stable to me. I sure would hate for someone to turn like that on me. First they support you then in the blink of an eye, they have turned against you. I know first hand what that feels like, I have older and very jealous sisters. I know first hand what betrayl feels like. I wonder if Howard feels this way right now.
I always suspected Larry was the father, but was still hoping Howard would be. I don’t dislike Larry because he is Dannielynn’s father, not at all. I just don’t think he is a very fit father, because he’s never grown up and is so in love with himself. How can he put a child first, when he puts himself first?
I pray he will mature very soon, for that baby’s sake.
Jane,
This was a comment posted on Art’ site, that you may have already read.
# xxxxx Says:
June 22nd, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Can any one tell me what happen on Jane Devin site? It seems like it became about them and Howard got lost in the mix. I might have lost my way for a day or two but I support you HKS. I am reading the articles but do not understand what happen…two fools, who are the two fools? I was asked to leave so I can not ask there but was connect to them thru this site. What does being a media whore have to do with Howard and his lost? What does Jane’s hurt have to do with Howard’s lost? How can we even think about it after all he has been through? I am sorry Jane is hurt about some thing with in the support group but we came together for one purpose to support a man who needed us, I ask we keep focused on our duty. It is getting to political, get over your hurt, ppl make mistakes forgive and remember what we came together for.
Interesting. She was never asked to leave — she left, she told me in an email, because I did not defend her to other posters on this board. Second, this board is not “all about” Howard K. Stern and most people know that. Neither the readers here or myself are under contract or obligation to discuss nothing but Howard all the time….I know I never agreed to such a thing. Lastly, regardless of what put me or others here, we are all entitled to grow, to talk about what we please, and to move on. And I’ll do that — and others here will do that — in whatever manner we please. - Jane
Joni… I feel the same as you, you just say it better. I am also puzzled by Vivian as well.
Hello Jane,
Some Time Has Passed Since My Last Visit To Your Site, And I Must Say, It Was Once Again, Remarkable.
Like Many, Howard, Anna, & Daniels Lives Became A Part Of My Daily Life As Well.
My Emotional State For A Long Time Consisted Of…. Sadness, Anger, Fear, & Disgust.
It Seemed As Though The Feelings Of Happiness, Laughter, and Contentment Had Left Me.
My Heart Was Heavy, To Say The Least.
No, I Had Never Met Anna, Who I Grieved For When Her Son Died.
And No, I Had Never Met Howard, Who I Grieved For When:
*Daniel Died
*Anna Died
*When He Was Accused By the Public & Media Of Having Something To Do With Their Demise
*When Dannielynn‘s Dna Matched Someone Else’s
*When the World Seemed To Be Crashing In All around Him.
The List Is Endless When It Comes To This Public Family’s Heartache & Despair.
You Would Never Have Known That I Was Not A Blood Relative Though.
The Pain I Felt For Them … Was Real.
After Months of Blocking Out The Real World, Neglecting My Real Family, Obsessing With
Every Clue, Link, Post, News Article, Media Show Etc. About Anna, Howard, Daniel, Dannielynn, In Addition to Anyone Else Who Was Involved With Them,
I Had To Stop.
Today, I Sit Typing This Post A “Refreshed” Woman.
My Thoughts And Prayers Are Still With Howard & Dannielynn, But, Now, I Pray For Them and leave them in God’s Hands.
Why did their lives take control of mine?
I suppose you could say, I shared a Connection With Their Pain, Their Anger, Their Mourning, & Grief.
Jane, Thank-You for Continuing To Write, Being a Voice for Many.
Most of All Jane, Thank-You for Sharing Your Gift with Others.
May the good Lord Continue to Bless Your Life As well.
DonnaM/Pro_HowardK.Stern
Joni and Anne,
The Bahamian court did, and the US court would surely have decided that DL should rightfully be with Larry. He met the higher standard of legal paternity in both countries. Howard would not have prevailed even if he had appealed the DNA -based decision.
You don’t have to like Larry and I don’t have to like Howard, but that’s why these types of decisions are meant to be made in courtrooms, void of drama and high emotion, and playing favorites. That’s why judges and juries are instructed to follow the laws in rendering their decisions. Unless Larry shows himself to be an unfit parent why can’t we just declare it Case Closed? At least now when DL gets older, she can’t accuse anyone of denying her her rightful parent, future biological half-siblings, and all her other blood relatives. You treat this as though it’s all contained within the Anna and Howard love story bubble. I just don’t get it.
Alison,
I love the ‘bubble’ but you are so, sensible.
Who’s your daddy, is so important to children.
Everyone seeks their maker.
This is looking more and more like a happily-ever-after ending to the saga for Dannielynn, for Larry, and for Howard.
But, what about Virgie?
My heart still breaks for her, because I know, deep down, in my heart of hearts, she is human, too.
Alison,
You said, “You don’t have to like Larry and I don’t have to like Howard, but that’s why these types of decisions are meant to be made in courtrooms, void of drama and high emotion, and playing favorites.”
I have only commented twice at this site, so forgive me if I’ve incorrectly commented in the wrong category. I have been watching with interest the story regarding Jessie Davis, the pregnant mom whose body was recovered yesterday in Ohio. She is leaving behiind a little two year old boy by a boyfriend, not her husband. It will be interesting to see how the custody of this child will pan out as paralled with the court battle we’ve just winessed in the Bahamas with Anna’s baby. There hasn’t been any mention of the child’s other grandmother, so is he automatically turned over to his maternal grandmother?
This is such a sad story, annpat. I, too, wonder what will happen with the baby. I would think he’d go to his mom’s mom for now, and the courts and social services would review custody later. - Jane
annpat,
That is, and will probably be, a very interesting question.
But, I guarantee it will be left up to the law, the machinery, that runs our great country.
anna painted herself iun a corner by running and not facing the truth. i am not a tun coat. you just read what you want to want and put your own spin on things. that is why i mentioned being on a jury. that is what you have t do when their is so many stories and so much turmoil. i havce gone on jury duty. you have to keep your heart out of it. if you ever noticed any thing i have said befor after larry was deemed the father. i also was glad howard was working with larry. but as joli said TAKE OFF TH ROSE COLORED GLASSES. the story is out there ,not bits and pieces to pick up on. go back to the beginning and see the articles the post the things happening in the back ground. and howard knew he was not the father, he was the LAST man anna asked to be. the others had better sense. he knew in fl. by his statements to the judge in court. he wanted to deal with larry then. he wanted to make sure he could still handl anna’s estate, with no fight from larry. but i am not going to defend myself any longer. ppl with closed minds who really do not want to kow the real truth never will. jane has tried to tell you things in a far nicer way. qv has come right out and said her site was no longer supporting howard. and she told you why. but none of you die hards, have even listened to her. it is still all about howard, over there and how would you feel, with ppl you invite coming into your house, knowing what you have been through, and praising the ppl who hurt and lied and stole from you? also this was happening to jane, and here we are today. doing the same to jane. and then we have one poster telling another not to come here. THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE> IT IS JANES. she like qv i am sure would have liked a little more than lip service . we all could have stood up to those who wanted these sites to go down, like we did for howard. but then that would mean having to look at what howard, bonnie and the fools really did to them. and so qv is closing down. did we let howared bonnie and the 2 fools win. YES WE DID and i am so ashamed i did not do more for her.that i could not get my words o ver like jane does to make you understand. but when you run in pacts its easier to still that one or 2 voices. and its easy to take advantage of a sweet soul like qv and not pay her any mind of what she says. one poster said i really don’t think she meant that, about howard. but why did she say it then. i love you house jane and if i have said any thing to cause you trouble with the visitors in your home ,i am sorry.
Joni:
Do you recall that Howard and Anna sold Dannielynn’s BIRTH video to ET? Do your recall that immediately after Anna died, Howard had Dannielynn in front of the world on ET for weeks? I was aggravated at the time because he was selling something (Dannielynn) that wasn’t his to sell.
But I am past that. I certainly think Larry should make as much money as he can so Dannielynn will have a secure future. The media makes a fortune from the story and they will follow Larry and baby mercilessly and take pictures of them. So why should Larry let everyone but him and Dannielynn make the money. Should he DONATE his story and photos to the media? Of course not!
Larry is handling things very well.
linda and allison, thank you for understanding what i have been saying from the start. i have to support larry, for dannielynn. and because he is a novice in this whole thing he needs all the help and support of everyone. an i hopelarry does not read all thes ugly poss about him. because if he tries to satisfy the ones who cannot be satisfied, he will only add to his plight. that part of this story is finished. lets move on. this is sunday lets pray for larry ad dannielynn
Vivian,
Looks to me like you’ve gone over to the “other side”. The side that has hurt QV and Jane. It also looks like you’ve put on some pretty heavily tinted glasses yourself, when it comes to Larry.
We were all supporting Howard on QV’s site, then when some of you decide to go against Howard and support Larry, you turn against those of us who still support Howard.
As I’ve stated before, Larry has to earn people’s respect, and so far, he hasn’t. I could go on and on about this, but I won’t.
I think Jane knows she has my deepest respect. She has certainly earned it.
I’m not looking at anything through rose colored glasses, I’m seeing things as they are.
Some of you seem to know something about Howard that I don’t. Maybe this is what you discuss in chat? I never saw Howard post anything here or anywhere else for that matter, against Jane or QV. If you know something the rest of us don’t, then I think you should clarify what you are talking about, or not talk about it at all.
I could say more, but this is it. It will do no good to keep going back and forth with you or anyone else. As I said, I do have the greatest respect for Jane and QV and that is why I won’t add any more comments to you in this thread.
Neither Larry or Howard are perfect men — I’ve yet to meet one of those.
I think it’s quite possible to support both imperfect people, even if one relates to this or that one better.
I think both men, by way of the public, have either been branded as evil or saintly. Villified or turned into icons. I don’t believe the facts point to either label for either man. Perhaps what some are responding to are these assignations of perfection or ruin.
Yes, there are things Larry did that were hurtful. There are things Howard did that are certainly questionable.
The issues that brought these things to the public have since been resolved: Dannielynn now has a lawful father. She seems to be a happy, healthy little girl.
As the years go by, we’re sure to learn more about both men. There will be things we appreciate and things we dont. But in the end, no matter what public discussions might be held, public opinion will hold no sway.
My one hope out of all of this is that Dannielynn will have a happy childhood. Parents do not have to be perfect to provide that. I know I wasn’t, but my daughter still thrived. Love is potent.
Love, for a child, means nurture, education, discipline, essential kindness and care. . .I would want Dannielynn to have all of these things, and believe she will.
i am curious who that annoyomus is. i never though i had a duty to to help howard. i helped him because at the time thought it was the right thing to do. my duty is to my god and my country. curious. thank you jane. you are so nice, and i hope we can get some really good topics going. annas dead larry has his work to do, howard has his. lets leave them to do it. i sooprt dannielynn birkhead
I just have to say one thing.
To support Howard is to support a decision he made, and that is the one he made when he decided to help larry. So you cant support Howard if you dont support larry.
After all its all about Danilynne.
I can support Howard without supporting Larry. I believe Howard is working with Larry for Dannielynn’s sake, but that doesn’t mean I have to support Larry.
Larry has to start proving that he is a good father and that he, too, has Dannielynn’s best interests at heart, and not his own.
joni,
Amen to your last comment!
I agree Joni.
geez, just as I cant wait for Qv’s site to get broader, I cant wait for you Jane. YOu are such a great writer. I can’t wait for the privlage of getting some interesting stories going on your blog, and you taking them and finding the common denominators.
please, all the people so invested in being destructive, go somewhere else.
geez. Jane, I wish you would lead an online writing workshop. that would be soooo great.
I don’t know Howard K Stern or Larry Birkhead, I have only seen Anna and Daniel on television. When I meet someone for the first time, I form an opinion from what I have been told or read, what ever information I have. Unless this person has a personality that is so extreme, that I can not get close enough to learn more and round of my opinion then it might stay the same for a long while. If the person has a fair personality, my opinion will change as my knowledge of this person expands. Iwould never say that one person is better than the other, because they think about things differently. IT may take me longer to form an opinion, about another person. I would never presume to say someone is right and the other person is wrong. I don’t know any of these people, all I know is what I have seen, what I have read. I do not know what their deepest thoughts are, their hopes, their dreams. I can only do what I came here for, that is to hope every one gets treated fairly. If I find someone does something I don’t like, I will file that for later. That does not mean I don,t like that person. I can have a favourable opinion about more than one person. Every once in a while I can review my files, they will usually tell me if I may have to adjust my opinion or not. I know what I want to say is in my head, I don’t know if it translates.