For the last several months, I’ve heard the gospel of “change” preached from pillar to gallows, like a love song to the forlorn and forsaken. I have heard reams of speeches spun with the gold of hope, inspiration and motivation, and a few hundred star-crossed renditions of the American Dream.
The nearly hypnotizing din might have driven me to deafness, but a strange thing happened.
I started to believe.
No, not in the would-be prophet, or the media personalities, or the career analysts. It was all of their tiresome talk – vaguely similar to a long-distance lover who frequently calls but never makes the trip – that drove me into introspective silence.
And in that silence, I just happened to open my eyes to the tarnished and less-than-grand reality in front of me.
Tarnished meaning tainted, not shining, not in good condition. Less-than-grand meaning not what I ever aspired to or could ever want.
It began to sink in that there was a rightful replacement for the hand-wringing zeal that has filled my senses this election season. After all, the only real effect I can have on the political scene is my vote. And I’ll vote my conscience, which is in opposition to all things Bush and patriarchal, including war, greed, imposed religion, corruption, waste, and the erosion of freedom. But that one act, while important, is only a checkmark, a few moments in one day.
I started to believe that what was necessary was a real revolution. Beginning with me.
How much, I wonder, can I change in one year? How thoroughly can I live my beliefs? What difference might it make to me personally, and possibly to others, if I reached farther and strove harder than I ever have before?
A woman can grow and nurture a new human being in her body in just nine months. What can she do for her own life in one year?
Can a 46 year old woman set aside all that she has grown dissatisfied but comfortable with, to risk — as she did in younger years — the unknown or once-failed?
Body. Mind. Health. Career. Finances. Love. Sex. Friendship. Spirit. Passion.
They will all be part of a one year experiment, starting now.
When it comes to work, I have mastered the drill. Show up. Be productive. Do good things. Make a difference – a dent if you must. Like most women, I have spent the majority of my life working for other people. This year, I will still have to work, but my first job – my first priority – will be to revolutionize me.
I’m going to document everything, from health to jobs to people. Every attempt, every milestone, and every setback will be written about, photographed, maybe even taped so that eventually I can share the results.
Those who know me know two things for certain. I can be relentless when it comes to achieving a goal, and I can just as easily slip into the shell of a hermit and spend years ignoring the larger part of the world.
I have been in hermit mode since 1995. It is time to break the shell. It is time to become the changes I seek – or to at least make the bravest, most focused and daring attempt ever.
On April 15, 2014 I will let you know – everything. The good, the bad, the embarrassing. The successes, the failures, the in-betweens.
How much can a life change in one year? I will let you know. Until then, as part of a strict new schedule I’m adhering to, this blog will be updated only once weekly, on Sundays. I hope you’ll stay with me – and maybe even start a revolution of your own.
24 responses so far ↓
1 freida // Apr 15, 2008 at 10:20 pm
I hope you’re believing in that baby inside of you.
I’ll be here every Sunday with wings on.
In fact I’ll probably come here all week just to read.
I do hope you keep everything you’ve written available to us.
Love Always,
Freida
PS: I’m gonna ache all week long, and I too, need to get busy and peel off my layers of clothing and get to work. I have a big move to make.
2 LBJ // Apr 15, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Jane, you absolutely have to video tape this for the blog, or whatever you’re going to show April 15 ‘09! What an exciting idea! I can’t wait to see what you do! Will you give updates here, or are you going to make us wait the entire year?
3 jimi // Apr 15, 2008 at 11:30 pm
JANE, EMBRACE THAT CHILD INSIDE OF YOU. WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO IS A COMMITMENT TO JANE. I LIKE TO THINK OF MY LIFE AS ROBERT FROST WROTE,”THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED”. YOU HAVE MADE A VERY HEALTHY DECISION.
I LOOK FORWARD TO SUNDAY’S WITH JANE. LOL,JIMI
4 VIVIAN // Apr 16, 2008 at 12:45 am
Like the little red engine climbing the hill, YOU CAN DO IT , that i know for certain. You have shown me what you can do, and what an effort you have always put forth FOR OTHERS in need. It is truly time for you to put that effort in your own life FOR YOU. I am so excited about this. , and I will be here for you. OF course i will be here for me too. love you Jane
5 Lyric // Apr 16, 2008 at 1:25 am
OH, I’ll stay with you! I may go through some withdrawals but my fix is coming every Sunday… LOL This is great…document, document…exciting stuff.
6 Ann // Apr 16, 2008 at 2:41 am
This is very exciting. I am new to your blog, so I don’t know your blogging persona well. But I think of the book Eat. Pray Love. It was a good book, but unattainable for many and likely fictionalized to an extent. I look forward to your journey, as I too plan to tune in on Sundays.
The hermit in me says you are brave, very brave indeed.
7 Donna Faber // Apr 16, 2008 at 8:55 am
Jane … sounds like a plan and mirrors many of my own thoughts of late. I’ll be back regularly to see what’s happening, share notes, check it out. When I was pregnant in 1996-1997 (my daughter is 11 and I am 44), I felt more purposeful and closer to the Goddess that I had ever felt previously. That comparison you made is right on target. You make your changes, internet sisterfriend, and know that I’m considering my own revolution, as well. You are inspiring.
D~
8 Ann Parker // Apr 16, 2008 at 12:53 pm
See you Sunday!
9 linda woods // Apr 16, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I love revolutions.
And, I love the supportive comments you are getting…too cool.
But, what will I read mon-sat?
10 Paige // Apr 16, 2008 at 8:10 pm
You are courageous and daring, Jane! Nothing is more scary than change (which may explain McCain’s rise in the polls) so I applaud your efforts on becoming your authentic self. I wish you nothing but excitement and wisdom as you undertake this endeavor, but will truly miss your multiple blog postings per week. ENJOY THE RIDE!
11 Jane Devin // Apr 17, 2008 at 1:19 am
I have the best bloggers EVER! Thank you all for your thoughts and encouragement!
I won’t be blogging the revolution on a step by step basis here, but may post a thing or three about my progress during the year. Other than that, there will be the usual mix of stories here posted Sundays. I wouldn’t be surprised if on some Sundays, there are two posts.
Again, thank you. I’m always amazed by the wonderful women who choose to visit me here.
12 Kate // Apr 17, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Ah Jane,
You dare to dream, to act, to evolve, to BE!
I feel your commitment, share in your wonder and embrace the possibilities.
Sundays, always sacred, will now be more sanctified by your words.
Looking forward with glee,
Kate
13 Alison // Apr 17, 2008 at 7:41 pm
I feel a strange stirring of inspiration myself now that you put it into such a logical framework. Begrudgingly I have to agree that we do have the power to directly effect more positive change within our own lives than any politician can implement from afar. Yet I’ve definitely been one of those political obsessives who has placed the burden of changing my world solely on my preferred candidate, without even a thought to the quality of life hindrances I saddle myself with. Then you had to go and write this and make me feel like I should be willing to enhance my own life in those ways I have some degree of control over. How interesting and worthy of further consideration and much deliberation and rumination. And then of course more pondering and in-depth analysis. But in the end, you’re 100% right and while I may not be initially as gung-ho as you are, I think I may just give it a whirl myself–at least in some categories. Good luck to you and I’d bet my money on your success any day of the week.
14 dee // Apr 17, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Good for you Jane… just jump into that “radio-flyer” and off you go! I am excited for you and I hope someday part of that change brings you here for a visit.
As for once a week I can live with that…. Instead of the Saturday Evening Post we’ll have Jane’s Sunday Post!
Yes you do have a wonderful group here…. I look forward to you and I also enjoy all the people you bring here (okay not those mean ones).
Off you go…. an adventure! By the way is there any significance to the April 15th date? (Sorry tax day… maybe that will take the dread away from that date.)
15 allison // Apr 17, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I am so happy for you Jane!
Your message as it always does for me, has hit home.
I have missed being here.
I started a full - time job on the 4th, then I lost my Dad completely unexpectedly on the 7th.
I feel also that I have been hiding for a long while.
I am being overwhelmed by all the things I need to attend to right now, but I have wonderful family and friends to help.
I wish you all the fun and excitement this new journey brings you, and can’t wait to read and hopefully see & hear it all!
16 peejays // Apr 18, 2008 at 2:47 am
Good luck, Jane. I too have been out of touch (my words, not yours) in so many ways since 96. So I understand where you’re coming from even though I don’t really know where you’re coming from. If that makes sense. Thank you in advance for giving us whatever time you can for the weekly blog entries. Thank you for all the past entries, too. You’ve encouraged and inspired us in ways big and small.
17 VW // Apr 18, 2008 at 11:53 am
Jane, this is the best news that you have written about since I have known you. I agree with Vivian and applaud your intention to focus more on yourself. Sometimes when we give as you always have, it takes too much out of us and there is nothing left to share. Bravo! I can’t wait to follow your journey and hopefully learn a few things along the way.
18 Donna L. Faber // Apr 18, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Hey Jane … I ran into your 2007 article on Jonestown and it really struck a chord with me. I wrote something on my blog with you in mind.
http://sapphokinesis.blogspot.com/2008/04/jane-devin-jim-jones-and-fundamentalist.html
D~
19 freida // Apr 18, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Dear Jane,
Thinking about your ‘title’ here more and more.
‘What’ exactly does that ‘C’ stand for?
20 kris_D // Apr 19, 2008 at 12:53 am
ah, one of my favorite Ghandi quotes….
“….be the change you want to see in the world.”
indeed jane. i look forward to reading about your journey.
21 Karissa // Apr 19, 2008 at 9:41 am
Well Jane, we have talked about that shell many times in the past. I anxiously await for your first installment.
I always find your aticles to be extremely thought provoking and enlightning at the same time. You are like a breath of fresh air. I look forward to your updates as I’m sure your articles will allow most of us to pause & reflect about our own lives.
Here’s to opening new doors! We just have to be brave enough to walk through them;)
~K~
22 Jane Devin // Apr 19, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Kate, thank you, as always, for your warm encouragement.
Alison, you and I could so be sisters — I refer, of course, to your “And then of course more pondering and in-depth analysis.” LOL. Oh yes, you know!
Dee - you remembered Radio Flyer! Yes, the lifelong journey that so wanted to be believed.
Allison, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, and especially that it was unexpected. I hope you’re finding time for yourself in the midst of all the hurt and chaos. I always miss you when you’re not here, and I was wondering where you’ve been. I’m sorry your absence was for such a sad reason.
Peejays, makes total sense! We all have more in common than not.
VW - I’m not sure if I’ll end up being able to impart any wisdom at the end, but one way or another, the journey will go on. I can say, scales suck. The wisdom of the sages have said that for years, but I’ll repeat it as first lesson learned.
Donna — thank you, thank you, thank you! I loved it, and your thoughts!
Freida, the C is for Change.
Kris, that’s one of my favorite sayings!
Karissa, yes. Whether we crawl, walk, or run, bravery will carry us through.
THANK YOU!
23 freida // Apr 19, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Well there might be a ‘quite revolution’ going on.
My neighbors, all of whom voted for Bush (both times), have new signs in there yards.
They have a pretty blue background, and in ‘Large White Letters’…they say something I never expected.
Even the neighbor that’s been to Iraq, a few times and he’s hard-core Republican…or so I thought.
I must’ve missed something along the way.
Pretty sure I did.
24 Doris Rose MacBean // Apr 20, 2008 at 10:21 am
hmm, another damn subject for soul searching, you’re a clever one Jane, always makin’ us work. Amazing idea to ponder and I had just begun my hermitage…
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