Letter to Barack Obama

February 18th, 2008 · 48 Comments

Dear Senator Obama:

Do not give me hope, with all of its temporary glory and flowery promises. Give me action, swift and sustainable, that I, and millions like me, can rely on tomorrow.

Hope does not feed the hungry family. Hope does not provide a higher education for those in the lower classes. Hope does not lessen the burden on the backs of the middle class.

Do not give me hope where bread is needed. Do not speak to me of wings, but of steady, well-grounded roots. Show me the depth, the width, the breadth of the knowledge behind your impassioned rhetoric.

Show me how it is that you will stave off the worst of the recession we are now in, ease this country’s $9 trillion dollar debt, repair our infrastructure, get us out of war zone, rebuild our nation, educate our children, provide health insurance for all Americans, and make sure that we truly are living the promise of equal opportunity, and not merely paying lip service to the American Dream.

Do not speak to me of energizing the young. Do not attempt to play to the tender hearts of youthful optimism and wide-eyed wonder, and claim some great victory by way of their ready, innocent embrace.

Most of the young you speak of are not heads of families. They are not single parents, soldiers, or veterans. They have not experienced massive lay-offs, ransacked retirement accounts, rising interest rates, or ballooning mortgages. Most of them do not know what it feels like to not be able to afford daycare, or to send their child to a substandard school. Most of them do not have to worry about feeding their families, or taking care of their elderly parents. Most of them are in the prime of their health, and do not have to worry about the cost of aging and health insurance. They do not face the prospect of losing their homes over one medical crisis or lost job.

Do not say “Yes, We Can” when it is really about you. “We”, the people, can only write our letters and pleas, cheer for those we believe represent our interests, and vote.

“We” can only vote for the “you” that we think will best advocate for us.

“We” did not choose George W. Bush. We did not choose war in Iraq, 4000 deaths, Abu-Ghraib, torture policies, costly no-bid contracts, or the Patriot Act. We did not choose to alienate ourselves from other nations, or to break long-standing treaties, or to incur the largest debt in the history of the United States. We did not choose a government cloaked in secrecy, that would seek to leave the public in the dark and tamper with a free press. We did not pardon Scooter Libby.

“We” spoke up, we marched, we wrote thousands of impassioned pleas, but we seemed to be invisible to both our Congressional representatives and the President of the United States.

Really, this is about you. And our ability to trust you.

Would you see us when the stadiums are no longer full? Would you hear us when the thunder of applause fades?

“Don’t tell me words don’t matter,” Mr. Obama said, to applause. “ ‘I have a dream’ — just words? ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal’ — just words? ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself’ — just words? Just speeches?”

Well yes, Mr. Obama. Factually, they are just words. Beautiful, intelligent words, some from passionate and historical speeches, but yes, just words. Without the fervent call to change that had already swept through the collective consciousness of America, and without the power of politicians and lawmakers rallying in front of them, Dr. King’s bold and impassioned speech would have faded. All those beautiful, intelligent words would have been left to wither inside the fractured heart of idealism, and not been permanently carved, as they were, into the tablet of American jurisprudence.

I wonder, really, why you would dare to challenge our questions with inspirational words from yesterday — words that are not even your own. You called up the living ghost of an American legend as if you, Barack Obama, by way of some oratorical transmogrification, could work your way into King’s stature by stepping inside his lofty shadow.

Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his famous “I Have a Dream” speech after ten years as a leader in the Civil Rights movement, during which time he led a boycott, had his house bombed, formed groups, laid the groundwork for peaceful demonstrations, organized and led marches, wrote two books, and effected changes in law.

You are not Martin Luther King, Jr. You are a senator from Illinois with less than two years of national experience. Do not borrow words from a man larger and more well-known than yourself to refute the urgent call for substance. Unlike Dr. King, we the people do not know you by your deeds, Mr. Obama, but only by your words – which so far, outside of your quickly tiring slogan, have relied more on evangelistic adjectives than actionable verbs.

I do not wish to transcend beyond the problems of today. I wish to tackle them. I do not want mere hope from a Presidential candidate, I want one who has rolled up his sleeves, put his intelligence and knowledge to work, and drawn up detailed battle plans.

I do not want faith, especially the kind of starry-eyed, blind faith that cheers speeches over substance.

Inspiration may be found through words, but hope springs from action. Tell me about your plans. Tell me how you believe your experience qualifies you to lead a country. Tell me who will be visible and heard under your administration. Do not tell me how other people “can’t.” Do not attempt to derail other, more experienced politicians, while failing to lay down your own track. You, with all your apparent positivity, should not tell me that others cannot unite, or energize, or grow hope from the high-flying wings of words – you should, instead, tell me how all of those exalted qualities will result in the changes most Americans are desperate to see take place.

A well-written speech spoken in rhythmic cadence cannot buy a loaf of bread.

Inspiration will not avert a crisis.

Faith cannot pay a staggering debt.

Words alone cannot heal a nation.

Ideals were not meant to be spoken, but lived.

Show me, Mr. Obama, what’s behind the soaring oratory and the borrowed elegance. Tell me what qualifies you to lead a nation that has been thrown, bullied, and tricked into a whirlwind of crises. Tell me what you will do, by deed and not mere words, to heal the devastation of the last seven years.

Or simply continue to speak of hope, while rebuffing criticism with beautiful words of faith while calling up the legends of yesteryear.

And expect, then, that my vote will stay with Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Tags: Politics

48 responses so far ↓

1 allison // Feb 18, 2008 at 5:33 pm

Oh Jane
That is a beautiful and heart wrenching piece.
You speak for me and so many others.
It reminds how high the stakes are, we have so much to lose if we don’t get it right.
I truely am frightened for our future.
2 Patty G. // Feb 18, 2008 at 6:40 pm

Outstanding!
3 Barbara // Feb 18, 2008 at 6:50 pm

Jane, I shared the link to this in the comments section at HuffPo, but really want to help get this beautiful, well-written letter out there. What else can I do?

Thank you for speaking so well on this subject. The media is saying he will be the nominated one. It scares me. I do not think he is qualified!
4 jimi // Feb 18, 2008 at 7:13 pm

ONE OF YOUR BEST JANE!! EGO DRIVES HIM JANE. HE IS SNEAKY TOO .
I WONDER….. DO YOU THINK HE AND GOVENOR PATRICK WILL SHARE THE WHITE HOUSE LIKE THEY ARE SHARING SPEECHES??? IF HILLARY HAD DONE THAT, WELL, THE MEDIA WOULD HAVE RIPPED HER TO SHREDS. I RESPECT YOU JANE, BUT I DO WISH YOU WOULD E-MAIL THIS TO THE MEDIA , CNN,MSNBC AND FOX NEWS.
CHRIS MATTHEWS@ MSNBC ACTUALLY FOAMS AT THE MOUTH WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT OBAMA, AND HAS CALLED HIM THE POPE.. HE NEVER SAYS ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT HRC. IT’S DISGUSTING. TOMORROW IS THE WISCONSON ELECTION. HILLARY HAS TO WIN @ LEAST WISCONSON, OHIO AND TEXAS OR SHES OUT. I HAVE MADE NUMEROUS PHONE CALLS TO THE DNC ABOUT FLA. I HAVE NOT HEARD ANY THING YET. NUMBER…1-866-336-7200. PLEASE, SPEAK OUT AND LET OUR VOICES BE HEARD AND OUR VOTES COUNTEDLOL
5 LBJ // Feb 18, 2008 at 7:25 pm

I thought everybody here might appreciate this. I’ve been reading all I can and came across this jewel from thinkprogress.com. It’s a transcript of Bush’s interview w/ the Today show.

I didn’t think much of Bush before, but I’m now convinced he’s a total idiot!

Transcript:

Some Americans believe that they feel they’re carrying the burden because of this economy.

G. BUSH: Yeah, well…

CURRY: They say we’re suffering because of this.

G. BUSH: … I don’t agree with that.

CURRY: You don’t agree with that? It has nothing do with the economy, the war — spending on the war?

G. BUSH: I don’t think so.

I think actually the spending in the war might help with jobs.

CURRY: Oh, yeah?

G. BUSH: Yeah, because we’re buying equipment, and people are working.

I think this economy is down because we built too many houses and the economy’s adjusting.
6 jimi // Feb 18, 2008 at 7:39 pm

LBJ, I CAN REALLY APPRECIATE THAT TRANSCRIPT… THINK BACK TO 9/11. BUSH WAS IN A CLASS ROOM FULL OF CHILDREN WHEN HE GOT THE NEWS, INSTEAD OF EXCUSING HIMSELF QUICKLY… HE SAT THERE STUNNED. I REMEMBER THINKING,” MY GOD WHERE IS HE” I STILL HAVENT FIGURED OUT WHERE HE’S COMING FROM. J
7 Jan // Feb 18, 2008 at 8:19 pm

Please don’t underestimate hope. As a single mother, I live hope everyday of my life. Hope is the pillow I have slept on for nearly two decades. Hope told me, when a family reconciliation turned sour and as my children’s father walked away uttering his last “command” to me, “get an abortion” my family would survive: I did not have to terminate my pregnancy! Hope held my heart together when that fetus arrived much to early and as the physicians gave him only a ten percent chance of living, hope overtook the fear. Nearly a year later, when my COBRA benefits costs soared and my greatest fear then became placing my ailing and medically complex child on Medicaid, hope whispered don’t give up. Sadly, our country is often not compassionate to those who live with disabilities, but hope in God opened doors I never knew existed and a compassionate judge entered an emergency order for health insurance by their dad. Hope gave me the fortitude to guide my oldest child to attain his college degree and hope helps us both to write monthly checks today to repay massive college loans. Against all odds, hope held my family together while I labored through homelessness, temporarily residing in a shelter, in hotels or briefly with friends and family until the time came when my two children and I could find suitable and permanent housing. Hope empowers.

There are times, we realize what we have now does not work and we need more from our government as well each other. There are times, when what we have shatters our spirit, pulling us down and cripples our will all the while detracting us from the important societal changes for progress. Without hope, without dreams and yes an active faith in God, my family would have been a depressing statistic years ago. Instead, for nearly two decades, hope empowered.

No reasonable person should believe Mr. Obama has all the answers. Perhaps, just perhaps he has the gift of HOPE to offer our nation. The vision of a UNITED NATION to pull us out of nearly two decades of greed in a lobby-driven Washington, the bitterness of politics and a “dumb” war, superciliousness and defiance by elected officials, confused priorities, (we need affordable health care; lower gas prices, better wages) etc., and re-unite a divided, bushed nation (no pun intended). YES WE CAN find the answers within us to once again believe we all matter, individually as well corporately and work together to bring about an overdue revolution. A nation where united contributions make a difference again, and with us working together we share the responsibilities of this new vision of hope bearing opportunities for improved relationships home and abroad.

Unfortunately, my life is not all that unique as families across this great nation of ours deal with challenging life issues every day. I am not a starry eyed twenty-something or teen; yet I find it joyous and encouraging to watch my young adult son as well others, young and not-so-young anymore, alike excited about our government and politics and willing to participate. Perhaps it will require a new generation of citizens who are not so completely self-absorbed as this ME generation has shown itself

What keeps us going and believing we can make it, is HOPE. Please, don’t knock hope; I can’t imagine life without hope.
8 CodaHall // Feb 18, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Very remarkable post and I believe you have asked the questions many of us are asking right now. Ideally, I would have wanted John Edwards, who came without Clinton’s sordid history, and without (what I see) as Barack Obama’s emptiness. I do not understand why others would not give him consideration.

I believe Obama supporters, such as Jan, misconstrue (perhaps even deliberately) what people like you and me and others believe.

I would tell Jan that her hope would have quickly faded had there been no medical care given that newborn. It would not have existed if the judge said no, and there was no health insurance, and there was no way to go back to college, or pay back loans.

As you said, as I have said to my many friends who are Obama supporters, hope means little if it is only a word.
9 jimi // Feb 18, 2008 at 10:02 pm

DEAR FRIENDS, EVERY ONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN OPINION. CERTAIN PEOPLE APPEAL TO US FOR DIFFERENT REASONS. WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS AND UNIQUE IN OUR ON WAY…AND HOPEFULLY ADULT. I SUPPORT HRC, AND NO, SHE DOES NOT HAVE A SORDID PAST. DISTORTED BY THE MEDIA, BUT NOT SORDID. I DO NOT SUPPORT EDWARDS OR OBAMA. I RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S RIGHT TO CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES AND THATS CALLED FREEDOM OF CHOICE. LOL
10 Joni // Feb 18, 2008 at 11:58 pm

Jane, wonderful article. I hope you can get this all over the internet and elsewhere. I do not like Obama. I do not trust him. I don’t believe he knows the first thing about running this country or any other country for that matter.

I get so sick of hearing him talk about change and all the people hanging onto that single word, like it was some magical word. Anyone can get up there and talk about change, but it takes someone like Hillary to be able to make the changes.

This guy has things in his past that worry me.
11 Karen // Feb 19, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Edited due to factual error:

In your previous Post “Will Barack Obama be Another Ralph Nader?” posted on December 16, 2007 you stated that in 1996 Barack Obama was elected to the Illinois Senate, where he served until 2004, when he was elected to the U.S. Senate by a very enthusiastic and hopeful constituency. Now in this present post you claim he has
less than two years of national experience.

That’s right, Karen. Less than two years of NATIONAL experience. Illinois is not NATIONAL.

You now also have to eat your own words when you declared that Barack Obama has no chance in hell of winning the Democratic Nomination

Please go back and read the post you are attempting to quote from. That is not what I said. I said “let me say what no doubt MANY Americans are thinking: Obama doesn’t stand a chance in hell of BECOMING our next President.” In fact, Karen, the post was titled “Will Barack Obama be the next Ralph Nader?” Nothing about nomination, and no prediction was made.

as the next candidate in the race for the White House - mustn’t underestimate your fellow democrats Jane.

Seems like a lot of Americans are tired of a Clinton or a Bush being in the White House so obviously that leaves an Obama or a McCain. What will Democrats like yourself claim to be the true reason why Obama doesn’t win in November 08 and McCain does?

Besides, seems just like yesterday (oh, it was) that Democrats were wishing and hoping for a President Clinton and Vice-President Obama in 08, or vice versa, and now Democrats like yourself are bashing Obama and pointing out how inexperienced he is to hold either office come November 08.

I just love this game of Politics. What really does anyone expect to change in four years under either a Clinton or Obama presidency? It will take at least eight or more years to see the change Democrats like yourself expect.

Personally I hope a Democrate gets into office, then perhaps finally we will hear of the positive things which President Bush accomplished during his tenure as President of the greatest Nation on earth. The man has not even been given one once of credit for keeping the United States safe from any further terrorist attacks. His presidency has been marred by the tragic and unforseen events in the United States, i.e. 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, etc. etc., perhaps if he only had to deal with defending himself to his wife and the American people about his infidelities he would have been seen by all, Democrats for sure, as one among the BEST Presidents in American history. But it all depends on what the meaning of the word “is” is doesn’t it.

Anyway, calm down people what will be will be and life will go on as long as all Americans are kept safe from outside evil doers. Personally, though Jane, I find strangers and those I know nothing about to be more trustworthy than people I have known for years and years and thought I knew everything about, or almost everything.

Gotta love the game of politics! Scratching and fighting each other for political points especially during an election year, then breaking bread with each other and having a grand ole time. Just who invented this game: Mattel, Hasbro, Fisher-Price? The only thing wrong in the game is that the little men always get lost or destroyed!
12 Mary Schoolcraft // Feb 19, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Jane, Obama has not been given the chance to show you how he can do all these
things you are asking him to do -and apparently if it is up to you, you won’t have
this chance.

I think your message was very BAD. Thank God not everyone believes in Hillary
the way you do.
13 Patty G. // Feb 19, 2008 at 2:47 pm

I need to put this here as I am “annoyed” and it fits within the range of the Obama letter, but mine is for Michele Obama.

Michele Obama at a ralley on February 18th made the following statement: “For the frst time in my adult life I am proud of my country because hope is finally making a comeback”.

Michele’s statement really pissed me off and hopefully it has pissed off many other Americans.

Michele Obama is only 44 years old and within those 44 years of her life she should have a lot to be proud of about her country. No matter what Michele said after “For the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country” is meaningless because it was what she said FIRST that says it all.

This country has always had “hope”. We have had “hope” every time their was a new President, we “hoped” things would get better. We always “hoped” this was the year taxes would come down, or “hoped” we would have healthcare, “hoped” we had more jobs, “hoped” we could save our homes, HOPED AND HOPED AND HOPED. Hope is not new to the American people.

But what the America people have always done was to be proud of this country. We were especially proud of this country after 911. The entire country pulled together and united after 911. Where the “blank” was Michele Obama then?

According to the Obama 2006 income tax return, Michelle’s salary was $273,618 from the University of Chicago Hospitals, while Obama had a salary of $157,082 from the United States Senate. The total Obama income, however, was $991,296 including $51,200 she earned as a member of the board of directors of TreeHouse Foods, plus investments and royalties from his books.

I would say that America help Michele achieve her success in going to Princeton and Harvard with the end result being a lawyer.

Interesting enough, during the Presidential Debate when Obama attacked Hillary about being on the board of Wal-Mart, WELLLLLLLLLLLl Obama’s wife was also involved with Wal-Mart.

Michele served as a salaried board member of TreeHouse Foods, Inc. a major Wal-Mart supplier with whom she cut ties immediately after her husband made comments critical of Wal-Mart at an AFL-CIO forum in Trenton, New Jersey, on May 14, 2007.

Michele made a comment that may well hurt her husband because it does have some “under-tones” and is not consistent with the way her husband is campaigning. Actually, right now I “HOPE” it hurts her husbands campaign and then I will be EVEN prouder of this country.

It will be interesting to see if Michele’s statement comes out during the Presidential Debate or should Hillary jump on it or perhaps Bill jump on in with statements of “I am proud of my country and proud to be an American citizen”.

At this moment, I think of all the soldiers that fought for this country from the day Michele was born in 1964. When she was born Vietnam was in full force with 10,000 soldiers killed for this country by the end of the Vietnam War. Then we had all the other wars our soldiers have been involved in since Vietnam and the many, many deaths of men and women protecting their country, a country our soldiers are proud of.

Even if we change Michele’s statement to read: Hope is finally making a comeback, this is the first time in my adult lifetime I am proud of my country. Either way you change it, the end result is what she said: “this is the first time in my adult lifetime I am proud of this country”.

I have always been proud of my country. However, I have NOT always been proud of the leaders of this country.
14 jimi // Feb 19, 2008 at 5:28 pm

PATTY G. YOU GO GIRL!!! YOU ARE FOCUSED , INFORMED AND DETAIL ORIENTED. I AM SOOO PROUD OF YOU. I WILL REPEAT AGAIN…. HRC IS A GOOD CHOICE FOR ME. NO ONE WILL CHANGE MY MIND. IF YOUR CHOICE IS DIFFERENT…WELL, THATS OK.
15 Barbara // Feb 19, 2008 at 8:39 pm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/taylor-marsh/i-have-a-dream-becomes-_b_87199.html#postComment

I think many of us will appreciate the article above!
16 allison // Feb 19, 2008 at 9:16 pm

patty G,
You are as my kids would say, THE BOMB!
17 Karen // Feb 19, 2008 at 10:15 pm

My sincere apologies Jane. I CANNOT explain what happened, you see when I was referring back to your Post of December 16, 2007 what I did was highlight, copy and paste the title and contents from there into my comment above. I did not retype anything, so how I mis-typed or mis-quoted you is a mystery to me. In any event, I am now quite full from having to eat your words which I thought I had served up for you!

P.S. I’ll pay more attention next time.

Typos fine and well, Karen, we all make them, however if you believe the post was changed, you can check “Cached” under the Google entry for the page, and you will see it has not. You may also visit the Internet Way Back Machine, which keeps all versions of posts. - Jane
18 John Mc. // Feb 20, 2008 at 3:35 am

Jane, I’ve participated in this ongoing discussion since your first article on Obama quoted by Karen. I consider this topic highly important as apparently we all do. I’ve tried to remain respectful, open minded and even light-hearted along the way as I have real admiration for you and the issues and beliefs you hold dear. It’s with great trepidation that I submit the following ‘comment’ to your forum. In no way is it to confront you personally, nor any others who share this blog space and offer their own heart-felt comments on your thoughts.

That said, something struck me deeply in your open letter to Obama. Something began to move inside me and I had to write it down….I had to get it out. I had no intention of sharing these thoughts and reminiscinces with anyone, particularly not in any public forum, anonymous or not, but putting these thoughts on paper just wasn’t enough, so here they are. I hope you are not offended by them.

This is a long post, and again I apologize for taking so much space. The words/thoughts appear below largely as they came to me….mostly without puntuation, sometimes repetitive and not really linear. I’m not a writer, Jane (I’m sure you figured that out long ago), but I hope I can claim some level of honesty and integrity by this point in my life’s journey. I hope you can understand why I’ve revealed these ’secrets’, and that I haven’t left myself too open a target for ridicule….if I have, I have; so be it.

MY SECRET SHAME: HOPE

As I write this confession of sorts, I am tearful, conflicted and heartsick.
I don’t want to tell this story; i don’t want to reveal my inner dialogue. i don’t want to listen to lies anymore—the lies i’ve been telling myself.

I’ve made my choice of whom I’m supporting for president: barack obama. for some time now i’ve been talking to people about the election, reading the Progressive online blogs, and writing comments responding to other writers who’ve made a case for this candidate or that. i’ve tried to be reasoned and open. i tried to stay on-topic and focused, but it’s gotten more and more difficult as the days tick by.

i’ve known i would support obama since he first announced his intention to run in this insane competition. as time went on, and the process intensified, i devoted more time to reading, absorbing and responding to the writing of this pundit, or that blogger. i discovered that sometimes when i wrote about obama, perhaps defending him from the attack of a rabid opponent, or trying to justify my feelings of distrust, and dread over the thought of another four to eight years of the clintons’ saga, i would get stuck in the generalities of vague qualities like:

‘having character’, ‘being principled’, ‘integrity’, ‘distortions’, ‘distrust’, ‘inspired’, ‘hopeful’

but i could never fully explain my need to convince the others, even to myself

how can i add to what appears to be a lifetime of exploitation of Hillary? or is it? who’s exploiting who? should i be exploited?

what if no one stands up for the truth? what if it happens again?

why did so few question the move to war in iraq? they knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. bush said it was coming. why should i know more than them?

why not admit the mistake? any mistakes? would that bring the house of cards down? would any crack, any vulnerability, any discovery leave open the opportunity for dismantling a dynasty

i’m no saint, i don’t claim to be, i don’t want to be.

i know about lying, i know about cheating, i know when i’m being lied to, i know about betrayal, i know about hurting the one you love,

i also know about taking responsibility, i know about remorse, i know when i’ve been sold a bill of goods

i was born into a family with a history of sex abuse.

for most of my life it was never spoken about or revealed. for years i struggled with something that didn’t make sense.

as i grew older, i looked for reasons i couldn’t stay in a relationship, didn’t value the promises i made. i couldn’t quite make sense of it (maybe i still haven’t), but finally, on one long summer’s day, well into my 30’s, i informed my closest siblings, the ones that always seemed to understand me best, that i wanted to have a family powwow of sorts. i was trying to figure it all out, and being the youngest by several years, i hoped i might get some insight into what i was like, what i experienced as a child, from the ones who were there ahead of me.

our parents both died some 20 years before that summer. lots had happened to me in the meantime: some substance abuse, some (lots of) casual sex, some awkward and largely unsuccessful attempts to find an identity that felt authentic—one that wouldn’t leave me wide awake and observing myself from outside the moment while in the middle of any number of everday events. it could have been my inability to enjoy a full out laughing fit, or feel a moment of loss normally accompanied by tears and grief, or a tender moment of intimacy. i was always outside these events, inside myself, but outside the emotion

maybe i would get a perspective from my siblings that i hadn’t thought of. maybe someone noticed something way back then that was a little off, something not right. after all, i was considerably younger than them. i really wasn’t expecting any deeply affecting information to be shared at our gathering, but that’s not how things turned out.

after the usual greetings, catching up, friendly put-downs and small talk, i reluctantly asked them to follow me into the living room, where we could sit down and talk seriously. i wasn’t looking forward to this, but i couldn’t have explained why.

i was just a few minutes into explaining what i hoped to accomplish and why i decided i needed some help from them when i noticed a strange look on my sister’s face. a look i’d never seen before, on her or anyone.

her face was distorted in a strange way. her eyes and mouth suddenly took on a rigid, pleading appearance. as she began to speak… the words came out staccato and then in a rush; they were spewed out, vomited out really in a flow of shame and guilt, steeped in a lifetime of soul-pain. it’s a moment i will never forget.

she told the story of a girl we’d never known. someone who was our sister, someone who was abused. she told us about the child who endured repeated abuses over many years, in silence, believing she was protecting her other siblings, allowing us to retain the childhood to which we were entitled.

by now we were all sobbing, reeling from the information we were just given ownership. i felt authentically in that moment, i can tell you. there were too many questions too much contrary information to process too many opposing lives suddenly crashing around me

deaths relived, grief exhumed, unrecognizable

too many beliefs shattering, too little comfort to hold onto and too vivid a mind-movie of how it all happened to allow for any additional self-awareness.

it cleared some things up for me in a flash, and it also took some feelings i had and incinerated them in a firey blast of confusion, anger, pity, guilt and shame. it gave me a new family to try to get to know, with wounds that we would try to heal. the truth, that day, was brutal. the reality i knew didn’t exist, not for her. someone i love was damaged by someone i loved.

the next day i woke up feeling alot like i remember i felt waking up shortly after my mom died. at first, refreshed and unaware, no bad dreams, no impending doom, then…..immediately, cruelly aware of the fresh horror of a reality i would continue to live and process.

i was also given permission that day from the abused to love the abuser again, one day, to try and create a safe place to see this man for what else he was to me, aside form what he did to her. i’m still working on that, some 15 years later. it’s my choice, and sometimes it feels doable and meaningful, most times not.

then the Clintons something I’ve felt but wouldn’t explain to myself

vague, generalizations about “integrity”, “honesty”, “distortions”

may be too late now to stop the push to November

didn’t protect her daughter, sold us her husband as an honorable man, she knew he wasn’t, she chose to stay, she chose to protect him, she chose power over truth and status over honesty, she chose but why i’m i focused on her part in all this?

she’s the one now asking for my trust, she’s the one now wanting my support, she’s the one being held up to me as a symbol, as the ONE who will ‘break the glass ceiling’, who will be tough, who can beat them at their own game, who will lift our stature, who will give us reason to hope, who will inspire us to participate, to agitate, to reconnect with our voice and our vision, to keep focused on the work that needs to be done, who will create a unity to get it done, who can win, who will win, who must win, at what cost, at what cost, at what cost, at…what….cost……to…….ME

she does not speak for me for she cannot speak, she does not inspire my action for she is dead inside, she cannot keep me safe, for she could not, would not keep any of those other women safe, she is not a leader, for she was only followed that man, cleaning his messes and building a fortress of protection for the reputation but never for the truth

she kept his secrets, and forced others to keep them as well

she made excuses for the needs he satisfied

she lived with the lie, she nurtured the stories that blamed and explained away the responsibility to the others, the women, the tale tellers

now maybe she’s different, maybe she feels guilty, maybe she wants to make amends, maybe she wants to help other women so they don’t follow her footsteps

but she can not truly help, she cannot wipe away the guilt, she cannot lift us up while she holds the cloak up to hide his lies and disgrace from our eyes

why is this important? why hold her to this standard? what will it cost us to put them back at the top of the heap?

she knew he was abusing and exploiting women: hypocrisy heaped upon ambition

my heart is sick, my eyes are red, i fear for our country and our world,

will i have the courage to speak out? can i put this all together in a coherent way? will anyone understand what i’ve tried to say here?

there’s been much talk about obama and those who relate to his message of hope, unity and building a better/greater future together; and what it requires of us. many express doubts that this hope is helpful. is it realistic; is he just another sweet-talking politician?

we are all willing to accept some things we cannot know.

some of us accept that a rigid, determined, ambitious person who cannot/will not admit mistakes is this best way to get us where we want to go. but from where does that need for power come? hasn’t that power already been abused, have they earned our trust and respect?

all seems calculated to advance her social/professional position

i have a fear of “blaming the victim”

all the questions, investigations, scandals made me angry at the accusers, but I felt oddly unsympathetic to the clintons

I sensed the truth was uglier than what we possibly knew

at last the lies and innuendos had a face and a name we could not avoid, and he could not explain away: Monica Lewinsky

she was an adult, a young adult, and she had to learn her lessons about men and power early, and publicly, betrayed not only by the man who would allow his position to influence and pervert their relationship, but by a supposed friend who would teach her that power and influence trumps all

where was Hillary in defending and protecting this young woman from a man she knew was likely a serial exploiter of women

can’t credit her for her actions on behalf of women and children when she wouldn’t face the liar/cheater in her home, nor choose to protect the girl in her care, what did she make more important than the truth, than taking responsibility for her own home and family, more important than facing the difficult realities of an exploitative husband and a dishonest partner

the telling indications of dishonesty, hiding, willingness to put their shame on others

the delayed evidence from the law firm, documents that mysteriously appear as if by magic. friends used and discarded, allies of questionable character, but apparently unbendable loyalty. to what i wonder? for what?

as i saw what seemed to be an unalterable movement toward coronation of this dynasty once again, my spirit sank. the inevitable was coming and it was unavoidable. coming fast, nothing could stop the train rolling. the Democratic Party Train left the station with only one passenger it seemed.

she stood at the head of a bright, shiny engine, and she would ride it to the finish line in november. but the train that seemed unstoppable got derailed somewhere around the first week in January this year. it wasn’t long before it was put back on the track, with a new conductor in the clubcar, ‘conductor ex-pres’, all designed to make me wake up and punch my ticket.

why were the images of bill c. waving that crooked finger at me from the recent pictures circulating during the campaign so disturbing and anger-provoking?

just you wait, i’ll get you, and your little sister too!

she has something dead inside her, something disconnected, perhaps its in her nature, or maybe it’s the callous of decades of betrayal and the inevitable messes that need to be dispose of under the rug. you know all those lumps and bumps that accumulate make it more and more difficult to clean at all, so the dirt just piles up

why was i so moved at her “moment” in NH; she teared up, so what?

she displayed the chink in that pressed and galvanized armor, the vulnerable girl before she learned that it’s best to shut up and play along to get ahead; i saw who she could have been: a woman who is strong enough to be vulnerable when it makes sense

not the tough, all-business, take no prisoner political dynamo;

should she be disgraced? i don’t want to see Chelsea victimized again

i’ve heard it said, what happened between the Clinton’s is nobody’s business, doesn’t matter

our family had its secrets; someone i love was hurt by someone else i loved, it was there all along, i just didn’t know it, till i did

with the revelation, i was flooded with memories of pieces of conversations that only made partial sense to me; suddenly the pieces of a jigsaw were coming together, and the picture it was revealing was disturbing and painful and frightening

my sister’s pain was channeled into anger, her friends and allies knew not to cross her, not to do anything that might be seen as betrayal or she would immediately eliminate them from her life; no explanations, no second chances, no justifications

I understood it better now; she controlled what she could, who she could, but she couldn’t control the one who was the source of that pain and abuse

must women be emotional to be real, effective, sympathetic; maybe not, but to substitute one’s own humanity for the promise of power and status leaves me cold and distrustful

they were the world’s most powerful enabling couple; they played it for all it was worth

i don’t want to be used again; i don’t want to give them my allegiance again; i don’t want them to think they have fooled me again; i don’t want to reward them for the lies they tell themselves or me

someone must begin the dialogue of hope, someone must pull back the cover of the lies we’ve been told, someone must make us understand our own complicity in allowing this illusion to go on for so long, and bring us back from the brink of the precipice.

some of us accept that a person with an unusual background, without an ideal family life, who struggled with the demons of youth and its disaffectedness could rise above these limitations and actually find a greater strength

a greater empathy for others, a greater compassion, a greater urge to lift others from their own limited situations, a greater ability to connect from the deepest part of our shared experience regardless of who we are, what we have, or from where we come

when I see Barack Obama, his wife Michelle, and their daughters, I KNOW something about this family; i feel the love, trust and appreciation for the good times and the struggle, forged by a mature and honest understanding of each others’ strengths and limitations; I know about the commitment within this family

I believe it, and I believe it extends to the country in which they live and serve. will it last forever? that’s not for me to say or speculate. i can only see that it’s here now; there’s no curtain shrouding the dark corridor of their hidden agendas. their ambitions are big, but they feel like my ambitions. their egos are large, large and proud, but in no way do they diminish my own, instead, they encourage me when i’m feeling less than i am.

how important is ones character in the office of president? what does it matter? we’ve been so desensitized learning about this scandal, that mistress, his/her lover, the other dirty backroom deal

is obama perfect? of course not. i do sense a strength of character that keeps him at home with his wife and daughters, that put him in public service out of law school, that colors the much ballyhooed gift of oratory he possesses

are the compromises worth swallowing for the possibility of an effective leader?

how much weight can i place on ‘impressions’ ‘intuition’ ‘gut feelings’

have i opened pandora’s box? have i unleashed another of the dreaded plagues that will ravage us? must the truth be denied for peace to prevail? will the hounds of the clintons rip me to shreds?

for that one moment in NH, a relatively quiet setting, a simple question and it almost came down, the house of cards, the truth washing down like rain

we saw a glimmer of the woman, our hearts opened at that moment, and we shared just a bit of her pain and sacrifice, but just as quickly it became another political commercial, an opportunity to persuade, then it was gone, in its place the calculation of an opportunity to reach even higher, loftier achievement.

the reporters can’t ask these questions, they’re too painful, too embarrassing, they could barely talk about oral sex and semen stains, they could never breach the crevasse separating truth from fiction where the heart is concerned

who will ask these questions for me? will no one raise a flag and call time out? are we to be forever silent in the face of unspeakable falsity? will we ever learn from our timidity and need to hide from the facts we are loathe to confront?

we did it for 8 years. the justifications, the explanations, the unanswered questions, the silence and stonewalling, the investigated business deals that were just a welcome respite from the agonizing truth of a flawed character, confessions that leave no comfort or catharsis, the moment we had to be slapped hard, harder right in the face with our worst suspicions before we could begin to let go of our need to carry their shameful secrets and blame and hate the messengers who repeatedly held the evidence before us, daring us to behold its ugliness, while all we wanted was to hide our face

we blamed the messenger because we knew the motives were hypocrital and calculating. that’s the only way we held on to the lies for so long. but the effort to keep ourselves convinced there was no fault, the weight of the evidence grew heavier and heavier with each passing year.

am i the only one who felt this? was i alone carrying this weight of denial and diversion? was everyone else shrugging off the innuendo? maybe it was just so much soot falling from a belching chimney burning up honesty and spitting out a greasy, black byproduct that falls back to earth from its own weight, covers our clothing, stains our linens, but can be cleaned up pretty well with a lot of effort

i’ve heard it before from these politicians, these so-called leaders. they built me up with words of principle that shined through the dark of fear and doubt, only to break my heart with actions that revealed the coarse reality of self-importance and hidden agendas and a need for notoriety

i don’t think i’m any more naive than the average person. i think i’ve gained some insight and wisdom as i approach the middle of my sixth decade. but i never give up hope that wrongs may be righted, that compassion can guide our efforts, that wisdom is bestowed on those who seek it over the benefits of calculation, that dark places can be lit to reveal beauty, that fear can be extinguished by understanding, and acrimony by forgiveness

i can see our new president, our new leader, standing at the bedside of a wounded soldier, surveying the surroundings and making a mental note to find ways to speed the healing process for these young men and women, and improve the conditions here. and all the while offering encouragement and revealing his gratitude to this soldier for the service he/she gave under his command.

there’s no artifice, there’s no false bravado. the moments pass with a mixture of humor and pathos, just as life does every day, but the commander gives all he can in that moment because he’s aware that it is no ordinary day for this soldier. this day will remain, added to the book of a life interrupted by the horrors of battle, the pain of recovery, and the fatigue of time without freedom, of lonliness and uncertainty.

whether man or woman, at times i’ve felt i know intimately how the other side feels and thinks. at times i’m not sure what’s real what’s the hormones and chemicals that naturally flood our brains, creating the illusion we call our reality. i can only HOPE to understand it all more fully one day
19 Sharon // Feb 20, 2008 at 9:11 am

John Mc.
Your words, written in the middle of the night, coming from deep within your heart and soul, are beautiful and compelling. The first thing I must disagree with you about is whether you are a writer. Sometimes a stranger can see what you cannot. You are a writer – a very good writer.

I expect all our choices in life come from a very deep place within which we may or may not recognize or understand.

For you a crooked pointed finger takes you back in time to a place of pain and distrust. For me Hillary Clinton’s face reminds me of my mother’s face when I was very young. It is a very positive image. I keep meaning to find an old picture to see if there really is a similarity.

It seems to me your family wants you to be able to love what was good about your father. To separate him into the good and bad parts – a challenge for anyone to do. I believe Hillary and Chelsea have been able to do this. I think they had a lot of spiritual and psychological guidance to do this. Yes, perhaps they were motivated by ambition and greed, but I see it as choosing love and forgiveness over bitterness and hatred. I also see it as taking seriously vows made before God. A friend of mine of the same religion as Hillary, a few years older than Hillary, has struggled for years over a very justified divorce.

Your view that she did not do enough to protect Chelsea is something I never thought about. In doing so I will be going into some of my own personal baggage: back to a time when as a mother I too was married to a cheating spouse. That answer will not come in time for this presidential election.

Other answers that may not come in time for me are why I see Michelle and Barack Obama in a completely different way than you do. I do not trust either of them. I see the same ambition in them as you’ve seen in the Clintons. I wonder what it is that Michelle does to keep her man in line. For if we are to believe her and you, John, it is a wife’s responsibility to do that. Did they decide to run now because they see the Clinton’s in the same light as you? If so is it not dishonest of them not to say so. Their words do not inspire me.

Another thought not related to your words: The presidencies of the first and second Bushes are completely different. Clinton’s presidency was not like theirs either. Hillary’s presidency would not be a continuation of either the Bush’s or her husbands. This dynasty talk is nothing but hot air. If things had been different perhaps we’d have elected the best Clinton first.

Thank you, John, for your very personal and thought provoking entry. Your honesty I believe may lead those who read your words to look more carefully at their own feelings.

And thank you, Jane, for your well written words which lead to such beautiful responses.
20 A.P. // Feb 20, 2008 at 2:55 pm

Great article, Jane!!
Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndl57E7UJno
21 John Mc. // Feb 20, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Thank you, Sharon, for seeing in my comments what I meant to convey. I’ve been suffering no small amount of ’send button’ remorse through the day. Perhaps you can understand why.

While we don’t see the ‘players’ in this political spectacle in the same way, your words give me hope that we all can find the wisdom we need to accept the decisions that will come as it all plays out.
22 Jane Devin // Feb 20, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Dear John,

I am glad you told your story here, and agree with Sharon that your writing is very compelling, thoughtful, and thought provoking.

As someone who survived abuse, and who has spent a lifetime afterwards repairing, explaining, and trying to prevent, I very much understand the revulsion towards anything resembling what we have known. Often we understand the rationality behind our feelings as no one else possibly could.

I would not judge anyone who brings their own feelings and life map with them to the voter’s booth. As much as it is a national decision, whomever we choose is also a private one, and should be reflective of our internal schema, as well as what we perceive to be best for the world.

I would only add that from my perspective, that what people do sexually should remain their own business as long as it is legal, and in fact was their own business up until fairly recently in history. Other Presidents, historical figures, and prominent Americans were not scrutinized for their bedroom habits, but by the failures and successes they had in their jobs. If we were to exclude all philanderers and other sexually different, curious, or “perverse” people from reaching political office or other prominent positions, it would be quite a different world.

While fidelity is an issue between a couple, I do not see it as a criteria by which to judge all else, although I understand the reasoning behind the argument.

Obama quit smoking because advisors told him he could not be both a leader and a smoker. Personally, I think it’s a ridiculous belief — but our country has become very anti-smoking, and many people feel it’s wrong for a leader to do something that is known to be dangerous.

I look at that, and the way my mind works is to extend the logic. No one of prominence should smoke. No smokers should be allowed into office, or into positions where they may be viewed by the public, idolized by the public, looked up to, etc. Okay, we just wiped out about 30% of all musicians, entertainers, business people, writers, public speakers, teachers, firemen, police, etc. Alright — so now we’ve eliminated the smokers from our midst. What about anybody who does anything dangerous? If smoking is a danger, so is driving a car too fast, eating too much, working too many hours, drinking, not exercising. . . .it’s a long list.

But if we’ve said “wait, that guy can’t be a leader because he engages in a dangerous activity” - then logic would have us be consistent. It wouldn’t have us choose only the danger du jour of the moment.

That’s the way my mind works, and I know it’s atypical, but I would have no problem voting a smoker into office if I thought he was the best person for the job. Likewise, because I believe neither Lewinsky’s or the Clinton’s personal lives should have ever become fodder for the press and the public, it does not effect my overall view of their ability to work hard and intelligently.

I have had my rose-colored glasses removed a thousand times over, John, and yet they are never far from my reach. Again, an atypical trait, I know — but I have met so many people who were, on the surface, these wonderful beings. . .yet when I got up-close and personal, I saw all the lousy pieces — the cruelty, sickness, frailty, and greed — traits that were not part of how they were generally perceived. Yet, despite what I saw and knew first-hand to be true, these people accomplished some of the largest “successes” people can have in the world — was it because they were who they were, or was it in spite of who they were? I don’t know. I only know that had all the lousy pieces been public knowledge, they may not have gone on to do what they did — and some of them ended up helping countless other people.

Gray is everywhere, although like most people I’m much fonder of the cut & dried, black & white, it really is what it appears to be, type of scenery.

I appreciated your story, and was honored that you chose to share it here.
23 ellen // Feb 20, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Jane,

As I sat and read your article and then the postings after, I suddenly thought, “I need to wrap my head around the fact that Hillary is not going to be our nominee!” After I let that disappointment sink in, I thought, “Lordy! I’m going to HAVE to get behind Obama because the alternative is REALLY unacceptable…” And pretending to accept that, I decided to entertain being fair and asking myself to list what it is I really don’t like about Obama.

I decided to think it through with out comparing him to Hillary, and without re-noting the fact that he has ZERO experience on the national or international level as reasons.

So what is it I don’t like about Obama?
I could care less that he is African American. I could care less about his motivational aspects. I could care less that his wife annoys me with her newfound fame. I mean I would not choose the next president in this difficult time based on anything so frivolous! Nope, that’s not it.

I think mainly it’s that he does not represent me in any way. Female, Lesbian, Middle class, non-smoker, mother, grandmother, these words don’t exactly apply to Mr. Obama.
I also think that he seems a little smarmy. Preacher/Slick if you will. His better than thou attitude is pretty unwarranted in my opinion. I mean I appreciate confidence, but his bandwagon riders have seemingly given him a sense of entitlement that I do not appreciate and I worry that he will carry that into the White House. That’s IT. He reminds me of a smarter, well-worded version of the cowboy known as Dubya. Yes! He reminds me of George junior. Ewe….Okay! God, please let Hillary come through in TX and OH! Please! Hope for that people!
24 Alison // Feb 20, 2008 at 7:57 pm

JohnMc,
I was blown away and deeply moved by the depth and honesty of your post. I wanted to respond to it immediately but felt that any response I was capable of making would not be worthy of it. I thought, Jane will know exactly how to respond. She always knows just what to say in the most perfectly worded way. Sharon, you are also intuitively gifted and your comments show what a thoughtful and insightful person you are.
What a pointed reminder of the role that life experience plays in shaping our opinions and attitudes, even in areas so vastly removed from the experience itself.
The irony between the Hillary vs. Obama camps is that we are both hoping for essentially the same things from each of them. The only real divide is who we feel is best capable of delivering. Since there are persuasive arguments to be made for and against both, can’t we just rise above the rancor and accept that whoever in the end wins will be the one we support fully. We don’t need another Democratic circular firing squad.
25 Jane Devin // Feb 20, 2008 at 8:26 pm

Alison,

I am also worried about rancor and divisions within the Democratic party. There is always bitterness for a time when one cherished candidate of the people falls behind another, but whichever nominee makes it to the finals will, I hope, be supported by the rest.

It does appear to me that HRC’s supporters are more willing to support BO in the event of an HRC defeat. BO supporters are so close they can almost revel in the victory. Clinton squeaking by or winning by superdelegates that don’t reflect the popular vote would surely cause outcries across the nation. We know she has to win the next few handily, and the status of Florida and Michigan delegates must be fairly and timely decided, if she is to have any chance at all.

I believe HRC is the better candidate to beat out McCain, especially with older voters. Oh sure, logic tells us that four more years of the Bush administration would be a disaster, but that’s logic — which we have seen elude the American public before.

I will be wrecked if McCain wins the Presidency. I can live with Obama even though, like Sharon,I do not see the golden glow that other people see. McCain would be a catastrophic blow — I would support whatever alternative was better.

Funny thing is, I used to respect McCain. I thought he was as “real” as they come. The flip-flop on torture unnerved me, and his reverence for Karl Rove just outright shocked me. I don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore. Karl Rove? The professional saboteur and scandal maker? In what ethical universe would an honest person revere him?

Anyway, I totally agree with you. When the Convention is over, we’ll have to rally en masse and fight to change the course of the country.

I don’t know that I answered John’s beautiful post in any good way, except to empathize and know that his feelings and thoughts speak to good intentions and integrity. Like you said, that is what most of us want. My only hope is that we get the actions we so desperately desire after seven years of backroom politics.
26 Kitzer // Feb 20, 2008 at 11:26 pm

While JohnMc’s story is unique (and may I say JohnMc, a powerful read), I think his overall judgment of Hillary Clinton is not.

It is unfortunate that “we are the company we keep” and even damning in this society. While some people would admire Ms. Clinton for forgiving and keeping her family together, others would point to her and say she was an enabler, or not strong enough to make it on her own.

I agree, Ms. Devin, that the intrusion into the bedrooms of politicians has gone too far. It is, as the song goes, a sign of our times, when crotch shots of drugged stars and the homemade porn of D-List actresses are commonplace. Not only do we expect to be exposed to crudeness, we salivate for it, scooping up every piece of salacious gossip and nipple slip story.

Personally, although I plan on voting for Obama, I find the way Ms. Clinton has been treated in this race, by columnists, bloggers, and television pundits, despicable. She served her country well as first lady for eight years, and has been a very active and vocal member of the U.S. Senate. I feel, for lack of a better word, ashamed of our process.

Obama will be challenged through and through by McCain, and I expect he will hold up. He better. Millions of people are counting on him.
27 John Mc. // Feb 21, 2008 at 2:48 am

Sharon, Alison, Kitzer and (of course) Jane,
I don’t want to belabor how the graciousness of your responses affected me today…suffice to say, your words were appreciated!

What I didn’t mention in my long, long post was that I am a gay man, from a family of women (with one brother, yes, but I was always closest to my mom and 2 sisters). These women were/are strong, intelligent, funny, creative, professionally successful, straight, lesbian (yes, as siblings we are 50/50 in that category….genetics, hhhmmmm?), opinionated and I love them beyond words.

My mother died at 56 when I was 17, and some of the strongest memories I have of her were the many times she would be sitting at her Royal typewriter shooting off a letter with that messy carbon duplicate to one congressman or another, giving him (yes, they were basically all men at that point) a piece of her mind, or urging some policy or legislation that would benefit our state or the community of farmers to which we belonged. If I picked up any of the eloquence or passion she exuded, I’m certainly grateful for that.

Women always have inspired and enlightened me. Joan Baez and Joni Mitchell sang words that lifted my soul and allowed me to experience a greater sense of what it means to be human. Randi Rhodes and Rosie O’Donnell challenge me to look beneath the surface of our current political/societal structures for answers I may not want to know.

Over the years it was I who was waiting for that female political figure who would come along and rise above the ‘old boys’ to take her seat in the Oval Office. I was thrilled to watch Geraldine Ferraro be added to a Presidential ticket; I was inspired and astounded by the power and dignity of Barbara Jordan, by the wit, courage and strength of Ann Richards and Bella Abzug….I would have supported any one of them gladly, and of course there have been many others.

So here we are at this historic juncture in what is undoubtedly a year to remember, and imagine my surprise and consternation to now be at odds with so many women I respect and admire. While many here have pointed out that HRC is to be commended for her ability to forgive, and perhaps to heal within her family, and is not responsible for Bill’s behavior, this was never the crux of my disappointment and distrust of her. It was her covering, casting doubt and disparaging her husband’s accusers, which allowed him to continue to act out as he has that all seemed like so much political calculation.

I honestly think we will all inevitably be disappointed to some degree by the outcome of this election. Either our candidate of choice will not be given the chance we think they deserve to lead, or they will, and thereby prove to be less than the solution we hoped they would embody. Truthfully, I believe our ‘hope’ remains viable only when we remain engaged in this process–writing, calling, donating and volunteering where and when we can to embolden those we’ve chosen to represent us, and hold accountable both these same representatives and the news media who failed us so miserably over the past 20 years or so.
28 Jane Devin // Feb 21, 2008 at 6:31 am

For your Mom, John, and letter writing Moms and Dads everywhere, who want to leave the world a better place for all kids.

(My first typewriter looked a lot like this. I got it at a garage sale when I was ten for two dollars, but only lasted as long as the ribbon it came with).

John, your last paragraph expresses another concern of mine. I actually had an article I was working on about how despised the next President is likely to be, regardless of who they are. After the mess of these last years, and being right now at the start of a recession, with a country that’s heavily stressed and in debt — well, people want miracles. They want health care (at least many do) but they don’t want new taxes. They want to bring the troops home, but they fear another attack. They want action, and so far this Congress has been disappointing.

People are angry about so much, and this may be one of the most difficult Presidencies ever.

By the way — everybody — you’ve got to go to John McCain’s official site and read his statement on Iraq. McCain says Iraq bred the terrorists of 9/11. Apparently, he has not heard the news that most of them came from Saudi Arabia.
29 Patty G. // Feb 21, 2008 at 4:36 pm

Jane,

This video is for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj4VK9wVAi0

And I hope you will be watching the debate tonight!
30 Jane Devin // Feb 21, 2008 at 4:41 pm

I read about this, but it’s the first time I’ve seen the video, Patty. How embarrassing! Oddly, he said he didn’t expect to be asked that question, and was taken by surprise.
Obama actually does have a couple of good accomplishments under his belt, but I think this is what so many of us see in a lot of comments about him — people are excited, but don’t know why, and don’t really know that much about him. They just want change, and think he’s the guy to deliver.
31 Joy // Feb 21, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Each and every one of us must seek out the truth FIRST, and then let our hearts decide what is best for each of us. Our hearts will relate the facts of our lives, no doubt, and that is a powerful way to decide who is the candidate of our own choosing.

As a female voter, I would like nothing better than to vote for a woman for President but I did not vote for HRC in the primaries. I will not knock Hillary Clinton with negatives because I don’t live my life that way. I vote, make my voice heard and wait to see how others have spoken.

I support Obama for several reasons.

I too, am a single mother, who lives every day on the premise of hope.

My personal story is that when my son was born six years ago with developmental delays, I eventually lost my job because of the “excessive” time I took off when I needed to take him to specialists. My employer voiced empathy for my situation but only cared about my time card and the hours I worked. Soon, I will lose my home because of my inability to pay my mortgage.

A single, teenaged mother raised Obama and she had to seek help from her family to make ends meet. I truly believe that Obama knows first hand the plight of single women and will help others who are waiting for a change.

When Obama could have worked just about anywhere, he instead chose to work as a community organizer, helping the plight of the poor people on the south side of Chicago. He earned $10,000 a year. He knows the plight of under-served people and he fought for it as a community organizer as well as a State Senator. Look at his official legislative record in both the Illinois Senate and the U.S. Senate. I think he has a substantial record on the bills he sponsored or co-sponsored across party lines.

Many obstacles have been thrown my way, so yes, absolutely I want Obama to speak to me about the specifics his administration will offer. But I also want him to speak to me about the youth and the new voters he is attracting, for their lives have seen the impact of the GWB administration. And I ask him to speak to me of my son’s future and it is okay for him to use the words of great Americans’ who have gone before us - for those words sustain my hope.
32 Kitzer // Feb 21, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Good post, Joy.

Just want to point out though that Obama’s mother was not a teenager, nor was she a single parent except for two years between marriages. Anne Durham met Obama Sr. when they both attended the UofH. They divorced when Obama was two. She married Soheto when he was four. When he was six, they moved to Indonesia. Four years later, at the age of ten, Obama came back to the states to live with his grandparents.
33 Patty G. // Feb 21, 2008 at 6:53 pm

Jane,
I look at it this way, if you are going to endorse someone, you really need to know everything you can about the person so you are prepared.

Joy,
I too am a single mother and raised my son during the Vietnam War era. My son wasn’t born with developmental problems, but was born with limited hearing. The one thing he had to deal with was me, a very sick mother who suffered with Crohn’s Disease and no family to help us.

At my age, now 60, I need stability and comfort and not the unknown. This is why, for me Hillary is my choice. Hillary and I are the same age and at this time of her life, she too has lived through the years of the “baby-boomers” and she knows how we struggled and is willing to use her expertise, knowledge, strength, ability and drive to get it done.

I am not sure what you are saying about “negatives” with Hillary because most of the time throughout all the debates, it was Obama that took the first hit. Especially in the one debate when Obama went after Hillary because she was on the board of Wal-Mart at one time. What people didn’t know was Obama’s wife worked for a company called “Treehouse” which is a major supplier to Wal-Mart. Mrs. Obama quit Treehouse shortly after Obama made reference to Wal-Mart in one of his speeches before the Debate. Treehouse earnings is on the Obama 2006 tax return.

As far back as I can remember, this country has always lived on the premise of “hope”. We always felt a new President would do better than the last President.

We all will follow what we feel is best for all of us and I “hope” it is Hillary!

PEACE
34 MICHIMOM // Feb 21, 2008 at 9:08 pm

I have nothing against Obama, but I fear those who will co-opt him and use his position to advance their goals. I just see a four year media blitz of the NAACP, Al Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson, where every little thing is turned into something racial and overblown in the news. All the professional race baiters coming out of the woodwork is not something I look forward to. Then again, I’ve got a memory, and remember Sharpton’s involvement in the Tawana Bradley (spelling?) case. He was an idiot and a jerk then, and he’s the same now, but since he got exposure and got cleaned up, he’s been adopted by the media. Jesse Jackson is another one who will make a meal out of crumbs.

I want a colorless government that reflects all people, and I think Obama on his own could do that. I just hope others don’t use him for their platforms.

I think Clinton would be a good President, too, but there is too much political baggage there. I think the politicians would screw it up for her, not the people. There’s a lot of people with grudges against one or both of the Clintons, and we all know how petty and vengeful Congressmen can be.

One thing I support McCain on is an end to earmarks. Reading some of them just makes me sick! Google earmarks and Congress and see what I mean. It’s a scam and a rape of tax dollars.

First time commenting. Enjoy the site and the lively opinions. Hope I don’t get beat up for mine!
35 jimi // Feb 21, 2008 at 10:47 pm

I AM VERY LUCKY.. I WAS BORN IN THE EARLY FORTIES, RAISED BY AN UNCONVENTIAL VILLAGE OF RELATIVES, MARRIED EARLY, HAD THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, LEFT AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE @ A VERY EARLY AGE, NO EDUCATION, WENT BACK TO SCHOOL, GOT MY GED,WORKED AS A JANITOR, WENT BACK TO SCHOOL, BECAME A NURSE’S TECH WHILE WORKING TWO JOBS, WENT BACK TO SCHOOL AND BECAME AN LPN, CONTINUED TO WORK TWO JOBS, WENT BACK TO RN SCHOOL IN ALABAMA, BECAUSE IT WAS CHEAPER { I LIVED IN FLORIDA] LIVED IN A PICK-UP TRUCK WHILE AWAY FROM FROM HOME DURING CLINICALS. CONTINUED TO WORK TWO JOBS. WENT BACK TO USA AND GOT A BACHOLARS DEGREE. DURING THIS TIME I RAISED THREE YOUNG CHILDREN. ONE HAD BIRTH DEFECTS AND WORE BRACES. I WENT THROUGH IVAN AND KATRINA. I SPENT MOST OF MY CAREER IN NOLA AND LIVED IN FLORIDA…YES, I LOST EVERTHING EXCEPT MY PARENTS BEDROOM SET AND MY BELOVED PICTURES AND SOME TEXTS. MY DAUGHTER HAS CANCER AND HAD SURGERY TWICE. I LOST TWO OF MY BELOVED PETS… I AM LUCKY, LUCKEY, LUCKEY. I VOLUNTEER OFTEN NOW THAT I AM RETIRED. I LOVE MY FAMILY AND MY ANIMALS….BUT MOST IMPORTANT,I LOVE THE LIFE GOD GAVE ME. WITHOUT IT, I WOULN’T BE ME. MY PARENTS GAVE ME LIFE BUT CIRCUMSTANCES MADE ME. I AM PROUD OF WHO I AM AND WHAT I ACCOMPLISHED. I MUST SAY…”I DID IT MY WAY’. OH, I HAVE ONLY OWNED FOUR CARS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I VOTED FOR HRC…I IDENTIFY WITH HER ,BECAUSE I AM A LOT LIKE HER. NOT ON THE MATERIAL LEVEL…. BUT VALUES , ENTERGRITY AND WORK ETHIC. I FIGHT FOR WOMENS RIGHTS,BECAUSE WE NEED A VOICE. I DON’T TAKE A LOT OF CRAP. I AM STRONG WILLED, ECCENTRIC AND SELF MOTIVATED. I DO NOT NEED ONE OF OBAMA ‘S REVIVALS TO GIVE ME HOPE. I HAVE FAITH IN GOD AND HE’S SEEN ME THROUGH MANY A STORM. I AM A SURVIVOR. LOL,
36 Mia // Feb 21, 2008 at 11:43 pm

Dear John Mc. I usually slum the gossip blogs but decided to drop by Jane’s for a bit of intellectual reading. I am glad that I did. Your heartfelt and agreeably difficult to publish comment was very touching and my heart goes out to you as it does to any victim of horrible abuse.

You may be right about Clinton but I don’t think there will be a chance to see her in the presidency now. When I got to the part about Obama, all the emotion that I was feeling shut down like a heavy trap door. I do not think he is the answer and in fact I am afraid of what he may bring if elected to the highest office.

I really did appreciate your comment and would like to tell you that you are a good writer. You almost had me.
God Bless.
37 jimi // Feb 22, 2008 at 12:43 am

DON’T GIVE UP ON HILLARY YET…..SHE’LL BE BACK AND WIN! I JUST CANNOT SEE A MAN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, THAT IS SOOOO LAZY THAT HE WOULD PLAGIARIZE… NOT JUST A SENTENCE, BUT AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH. TAKE ON HIS FRIENDS MANNERISMS AND GESTURES, NOW THATS BIZARRE. THEY TEACH US IN SCHOOL THAT THIS IS WRONG. THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID ABOUT BEING ORIGINAL AND CREATIVE. WHERE I COME FROM THEY KICK YOU TO THE CURB FOR PLAGIARISM. OBAMA BLEW IT OFF AS NO BIG DEAL. GREAT ROLE MODEL!!!!
38 Sharon // Feb 22, 2008 at 9:19 am

I guess in the blog world it is past time to move on from this, but John’s words do seem to stick with me as I go on with other business so I am back again.

First of all, John, I too admire the strong women on your list. I have a vague recollection of Ferraro’s husband being investigated for his business dealings. Perhaps it is good we already know Bill’s secrets.

As for Hillary “covering, casting doubt and disparaging her husband’s accusers”, I have a few things to say. Given the political climate we live in, casting doubt on these accusers seems quite logical to me. I honestly don’t recall any disparaging coming from Hillary though. As for covering, I wonder how much respect she would get for outing him about what most consider private matters. And as wrong as it may be, finding the other person rather than our spouse to be the greater villain in adultery seems to be a natural tendency. We have positive emotional investment we wish to protect with the spouse, but only negative emotions for the other. As for it being political we would all do well to remember our impressions of her come filtered through media and biographies. Even when we read her written words or listen to her speak there are editors involved. Only a few know what she has gone through in her most private moments, but having been where she has, I feel strongly her first concern was not the political agenda. Certainly, she would have gotten to that at some point as that has been a part of their lives.

Your last paragraph, I agree with completely which is another reason I prefer Hillary. She has experience dealing with the negativity of the press and the opposition. Even so she will still only be able to do some of what she promises.

John, you have shown us with passion and eloquence why you don’t want Hillary. If you’ve said much about Obama, I’ve missed it. I’d be interested to hear more from you about him as I still am not sure I will vote for him if he is the Democratic candidate.
39 Julie Kornack // Feb 26, 2008 at 10:46 am

Jane — You have masterfully articulated so much of what I have tried to say. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog. I hope it’s okay that I’ve now highlighted one of your passages and featured it as my “Notable Rant.” Keep up the great work.
40 SusanG // Mar 4, 2008 at 5:33 pm

I’m a Obama supporter. I am not on a bandwagon, never think of or use the words hope or change when it pertains to him; I do not think he is charismatic, and in fact find him to be a somewhat boring or frustrating speaker to listen to (in terms of delivery; he is too halting in how he speaks). I certainly don’t care if he’s “cool” or not. I am not all caught up in a bubble or fantasy. I’m a feminist in my fifties, very left leaning. Really worried about the erosion of progressive policies and attitudes by the Bush years. I want more than anything else to build a party that is so strong and enduring it will attract all kinds of people, and for reasons that go beyond that of Bush fatigue. I am not at all confident any Clinton could build this party. I am somewhat confident Obama could, based more on the size and variety and passion of his supporters than on him alone. Obviously I am not one of the “passionate ones”; though I am passionate about any candidate who can build something that might last beyond the next election.

That’s all. Tough decision. I’ve never seen a left leaning site or blog that had so many negative things to say about Obama, so I have read this one with great interest (and respect). I didn’t come here to change minds or butt heads. I just wanted you to know that there are really some of us lefties and feminists, who are clear eyed, pragmatic, and do not fit the media stereotype of many Obama supporters.
41 mrs jones // Mar 6, 2008 at 12:42 am

This is a very compassionate and thought-provoking “conversation.” I have such strong feelings about this topic, sometimes I’m 100% Hillary and then 100% Obama.

I was married to a man in the news business and learned he had cheated on me with a young woman in her twenties. Then I learned there had been two women in their twenties. At first I thought this was a midlife crisis and wanted to undergo marriage counseling. When my husband moved out of the house, my 6 year-old was so upset, I took her to the counselor. The counselor believed she had been abused and called CPS. Nothing was proven but I believed my daughter and the counselor she saw, a woman with 15 years experience in CPS. Yet I knew that if I filed charges, the courts would see me as a woman scorned and out to get revenge.

So I took no alimony, he ended up with the money and I divorced him withing 8 months and headed back from the West Coast to the Midwest. On the way back, we stopped at a tourist shop and my daughter was shot in the chest–fluke, random violence. My three year-old son was behind her and passed out from shock and the doctor said she wouldn’t survive long enough to make it to the hospital.

She did survive, although the bullet is near her spine and can’t be removed. My son, however, has had night terrors every since and was then diagnosed with autism.
I only slept a few hours at night due to the night terrors but have been proud of how I took care of my children, at least my efforts. But then several years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had to sell the house I never thought I would have been able to buy after my divorce, due to medical expenses (I had insurance—exclusions were what racked up the costs)–and being unable to work. My diagnosis was delayed for two years–I could barely take care of the kids at that point, but I did okay somehow, I have two lovely children…

I also had to have surgery for a benign brain tumor and a tumor behind my heart and few others. The doctor thought it may have been due to hormone pills–just “bad luck,” who knows? But my recovery took so long I lost my entire retirement. I have a Master’s degree and can’t find a job due to being out the job market and my age–55. I am living in an apartment with my 23 year old daughter, an honors graduate from a great college, and she helps support me. My son is living on his own and surpassed all expections, but he still struggles.

So I sometimes think I made the wrong choice, that Hillary did keep her family together. I think if I could have just stayed with it, my daughter would be independent of me now. But I know in my heart she wouldn’t be the person she is, she would likely be dead inside–hard to say. But she would still have a home to come to….. and would my son have had the problems he had? I’ll never know. Yet at the time, I didn’t care about anything but protecting children. So now I may live out my life in poverty—not being dramatic, just factual.

Did I make the right choice?
I lived on hope the whole time I had cancer etc., every minute, every day, I was so afraid I would die before my kid’s finished school, were still teenagers. I lived on hope after I lost my home and all of it. But now I’m tired of living on hope–it “makes a good breakfast but a bad supper.” It sometimes hurts to hope so much.

So Hillary is the path I could have chosen, the practical one. Barack is the dreamer in me, the hopeful one. I feel so personal about this campaign because it’s as though these candidates represent my life, represent me, moral choices. And in some way I see Hillary’s choice as being moral inher eyes maybe (maybe not, maybe more a practical choice)….but I do believe that a man or woman who cheats on their spouse and in particular, lies about it–that if they can betray the one closest to them–they can betray a bunch f constituents and aren’t to be trusted (would never consider McCain for that reason alone…)

Sorry for being so long-winded, I appreciate anyone who read my post for taking teh time.
42 Jane Devin // Mar 10, 2008 at 7:54 pm

Read, understood, and appreciated, Mrs. Jones.
43 Kathryn // Mar 17, 2008 at 8:03 am

Hillary’s speech writers could learn a big lesson from you. This piece expresses what I have been thinking (not as eloquently as you) and have hoped people will wake up and recognize. Go Hillary! Thanks Jane.
44 Ane // Mar 17, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Now why not ask about McCain’s caving to Bush after the Bush/Rove campaign decimated his character in the last election. There’s nothing as grand as a man who will allow himself to be slurred and then take the hand of the man responsible.

Oh Ane, we don’t really have to ask, do we? Even though I wouldn’t vote for him as a politician, he has been a big disappointment as a person. - Jane
45 jimi // Mar 18, 2008 at 12:38 am

MS. JONES, YOU ARE A WEALTHY WOMAN!! CLASS AND CHARACTER. TELL YOUR STORY…..I FEEL YOUR STRENGTH AND YOU WILL GIVE IT TO OTHERS. YOU ARE WERE YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE. STOP BEATING YOUR SELF UP OVER THE PAST. YOUR HUSBANDS CHEATING WAS NOT ABOUT YOU… IT WAS ABOUT HIM. YOU ARE LUCKEY. YOUR CHILDREN SOUND WONDERFUL…KEEP THEM CLOSE. THEY LOVE YOU AND YOU LOVE THEM. WHAT MORE IS THERE???? GOD IS NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET.LOL
46 Colette // Mar 18, 2008 at 11:38 am

Finally! A true voice. All the questions that so-called journalists should have asked and should be asking.

I wish there was some way you could publish this and distribute it. It is a masterpiece!
47 mrs jones // Mar 18, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Thank you so much Jimi, you made my day better.

Jane, I sent a copy of this to Hillary and hope her staff can use some of your ideas.
48 Barbara // Mar 19, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Brilliantly executed. I am with you!

Jane Devin

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