Pt. 5 - Caricatures & Idols
Jun 4th, 2007 by Jane Devin
Twenty-seven years ago, I sat down at Mickey’s Diner with a group of women from the famed Mustang Ranch in Nevada. I wasn’t there to learn about their sexual exploits, but about their personal and family lives for Reno Magazine, the publication I was working for at the time. The Ranch had always been under heavy fire from the local news, as well as from citizens who did not appreciate living in the only State with legalized brothels. The women who worked at Mustang, when they were considered at all, were viewed as bottom-of-the-barrel people, unintelligent, without scruples, and barely worth the ink. I was determined to change that.
I found women who were as quick as any mother to draw their family pictures from their wallets, or brag about their children’s accomplishments. I came to understand that regardless of the life they led in their ramshackle desert trailers, the women of Mustang Ranch loved their children. Many took great pains to shield their kids from knowledge of what they did for a living, inventing elaborate lies about corporate sales positions or stewardess jobs that took them away from home for long stretches of time. Others felt that their children could handle the facts, or “deserved” the truth. Either set was able to rationalize their choices, both those they made career-wise and with their children, and all of them felt they had their children’s best interests at heart.
I had a new and younger editor, presumably hired to breathe new life into the stale publication, but in the end, my first feature story ended up in the circular file, and I was sent back to go-fering and writing restaurant reviews. It might have been that at 18, I was a young and inept writer, but that wasn’t the reason given. The story, I was told, was one readers wouldn’t care about.
I strongly disagreed, but after passing the idea on to several people I learned a lesson. Namely, that much of society does not care to see those it makes easy caricatures of humanized. More recently, I’ve learned that many people also don’t want those they idolize brought down to an earthly plane, particularly after death.
When publicly discussing the relationship between Anna and her son Daniel, there appears to be at least two solid camps. One would idolize Anna vehemently, and proclaim that Daniel had a privileged upbringing, full opportunities and a devoted mother’s love, and that any questions one might raise borders on desecration of memory or an unfair blaming of the dead. Another camp tends to create a negative caricature of Anna, dominated by ongoing drug abuse, drug overdoses, recreational sex, casual relationships, willfulness, and depression as if those sad facts mitigated the value of her love. They view Daniel as the victim of his mother’s excesses.
Both mother and son died of drug overdoses. No amount of fan love for or idolization of Anna can change that truth. Anna was not an angel. She had problems, some stemming from childhood, some brought on by herself, and others that were apparently beyond her means to control. Yet, for all of her problems and faults, she loved Daniel immensely. Her love may not have cured her dependency on drugs, or tempered her other excesses, and it didn’t seem to change the core of her insecurities, but it did help raise a boy who was, reportedly, a good student, polite, quiet, and caring.
It has been reported, but not yet confirmed, that Daniel had broken into his mother’s house for drugs, and had fallen in with the “wrong crowd”. Was this Anna’s fault? Did the environment Daniel grew up in contribute to his own possible drug habit?
My experience with alcoholics and their families tells me that the answer isn’t really knowable. Addictive personalities come from all backgrounds, from the most strict and provincial to the most lax and unconventional.
As the public saw on her reality show, being Anna and living with Anna had its privileges as well as its drawbacks. Did the privilege of celebrity allow the drawbacks to go unaddressed? What’s the purpose of examining that question now, after the two people in question, both relatively young, are dead?
I believe that celebrity privilege did play a direct role in one of the deaths, and a smaller one in the other. I do not think that such public and tragic deaths should be left to fade in what’s perceived as the “reverence” of silence, but that we — the part of the public that cares — should strive to honor the dead by understanding their humanity as best we can, perhaps gaining some additional insight into our own in the process.
Human beings, it seems to me, were not meant to become either cartoon caricatures or golden idols, but to be understood for the things that made them unique and special, driven and fallible — one of us — and part of the greater world.
Jane, that was a great article. I didn’t know that Daniel broke into his Mother’s home for drugs. I wonder why he wasn’t living with Anna anymore. I did read that he was kicked out of the home, but I know how much Anna loved Daniel, I didn’t believe it. You really made me do a lot of thinking while reading your article. Howard did say that he knew the truth. I wonder if the truth will ever be known.
Dear Jane, You always express situations in such a way…. you make us think! I am glad you are non-judgemental . I would say your writing is vertical and lateral…. the best road to travel for a writer. I can not and will not bash Anna. She is not mine to bash… I will always remember her as a beautiful child that i learned a lot of life’s lessons from. Death… some distance from the actual event… but moving toward it all the same. I don’t take life so much for granted anymore… thats what I learned from Anna and from your articles. If there is any good that I can do … I must do it now. God bless friend.J
Jane, My own life has taught me many lessons.
Among them I was fortunate enough to learn three important ones. Nothing is ever all black or all white. When we put anyone on a pedestal chances are they will fall. Judge not least we be judged. All three of these lessons demand from us an understanding heart. You have this and it shows up in your writing. Excellent article as always.
Excellent, Jane! You have raised many thought provoking questions.
Jane,
I agree with what you have said here and as always, a very good, well written article.
What a beautiful writer you are, Jane. I must disagree with respect to how people should be mourned however. Daniel clearly wanted his life to be private it seems to me that he would want to be mourned that way too. At any rate, I enjoy reading all you write and eagerly await the next chapter.
My Dear Jane,
I would love to read those two articles from twenty-seven years ago!!!
The one unpublished, and the one ‘unsaid.’
I agree, Jane. It is so unfortunate we are living in a world chock full of people who have no integrity, who value the sensational, who value money at their neighbor’s expense, who commit vicious murders and get away with it, and who break laws of our country and are rewarded. We have corrupt politicians “at all levels” in our government, according to former San Jose Police Chief Joe McNamarra (whom I personally knew and who has done work at Harvard and written books now). The Anna Nicole tragedy is one of many tragedies that are played out every day in all walks of life, many not reported, and many not even broadcast by the media.
But, I do think “our” group tried to be more objective about Anna Nicole and her life. I think we viewed her life in a much more realistic manner, but then, we had no *motives* as compared with every other colorful person in this painting. We had no monetary gain, while so many did.
Unfortunately, we are witnessing a significant decline of our great society. On the surface, we cannot tell. Many have wealth beyond belief. The baby boomers are playing golf. The “X” generation is still immersed in themselves and their rap music, while young soldiers are quietly beheaded. We have lost our moral compass, as evidenced by years of manipulation by various entities within our society, not even worthy of a mention. We hardly can recognize what a great country this was at one time. Memories of it are fading. Many families and friends feel the “disconnect” as well. And, we feel helpless to stem the tide. The Anna Nicole saga was just ONE symptom of what has gone wrong in America.
Like little characters in a play, all we can do is holler when we can, then, watch the acts play out to the “End” of what has felt like a great tsunami overwhelming us all. My only source of joy is in helping those around me, my friends, my family, and those strangers I meet once in awhile. And, this site helped me to feel I’d *connected* with other strangers who felt the same way about this not so obvious *disconnect* in our society. THAT felt good.
Jane, you strike me as a woman who has a gracefullness and dignity, who eloquently gets a balanced perspective on events in life, and who should continue to aspire to her life’s goals. I wish you the best. But, I have to say that I have come to an end now. I have had interesting conversations, thanks to you, with so many kind and stimulating thinkers! Thank you for allowing me that opportunity.
Thank you.
I am tired of doomsday philosophy.
It seems to me there is a valid reason for examining these two lives, even after their deaths. If young people today see Anna’s way of life as “cool,” they may easily believe it is okay to emulate her way of life when they are adults and are no longer held back by their parents. It seems to me if we appear to condone offensive behavior, we are teaching a bad moral lesson. However that does not mean we should condemn or have no understanding for the reasons for the bad behavior. And we can certainly seek to view others as fallible human beings, just as we, ourselves are.
I do enjoy coming here and reading these though-provoking pieces - they always offer something to wrap one’s mind around. Many of the posts are insightful as well. This is one of the first places I check out when coming online now.
I am hoping that we may still hear something from some young people who were significant in Daniel’s life. Every time I contemplate Daniel’s life and death, it gives me a tight feeling in my stomach which takes a while to subside. It would make me feel better to know that he had more natural happiness in his life. I think we can all have high hopes that Dannielynn has escaped the cycle of unhappiness.
Frieda, I’m offended by what you said. It was, no doubt, a “slight” meant for me.
DEAR LAURA P, I DON’T THINK FREIDA MEANT THOSE WORDS FOR YOU… I LIKE WHAT YOU POST AND EVERY ONE ELSE. YOUR VERY SENSITIVE AND SO IS FREIDA. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE AND KEEP WRITING FROM YOUR HEART. YOU RAISE A LOT OF VALUABLE QUESTIONS..IT’S FOOD FOR THOUGHT. ..CHICKEN DEVIN SOUL FOOD. J
Jane, I think I have put to much of my own life lessons into this subject. I thought today about it. I also think some of the theory’s I interject into my thought process are therapeutic but do not really have any thing to do with this case.
Bottom line for me is Anna loved Daniel, Vergie loved them both.
I have come to ask myself, what is a mothers love…they did love their children. It is important to learn how to love, it is not selfish.
I would like to walk away with this understanding a mother needs to love their child with all their heart, with compassion, and to help them become their own person with morals and values. A good citizen who will contribute to our society. I like Stella’s post.
It is very sad Anna and probably Vergie never learned these lessons, or coping skills. They seem to live in a self centered universe.
The saddest of all of these character’s is Daniel.
Maryst — re: “I think I have put to much of my own life lessons into this subject.” You, and me, and so many others. . . but really? Who’s to say too much? If a tragedy made public has any value, perhaps this is it — that each of us can reflect, learn, and come away with new understanding. - Jane
Laura P.- #8
You are a very good writer who speaks of the realism in today’s society through your written words. Although I am an optimistic, positive person I also see today’s society through realistic eyes.
My ten year old daughter who is in the fourth grade came home from school the other day and told me that everyone in her school will now be practicing CODE BLACK drills at school. She said, “We will be practicing CODE BLACK drills the same way that we practice FIRE DRILLS regularly at school.”
I asked her, “What are CODE BLACK drills and what are they for?” Although I knew what these new drills were for, I wanted to hear from her what her understanding of this was.
She said, “If someone comes into our school with a gun the principal or someone else announces over the loudspeaker CODE BLACK, and we are now trained to know what to do.”
IMO when I see all of our young children…in our free, modern & democratic society… from kindergarten and up…faced with these types of fears on a daily basis…I know that our society has changed and that it is not a positive change…but this is now our reality.
Sadly our society has changed everywhere, but we can’t let this get us down since we all have so much good to contribute to our fellowman. All of us, our family and our friends, can still live happy productive lives, we just have to be more prepared and more aware of our surroundings; and we need to continue to be good, kind and loving to the people in our world. I believe that the core good of people will help our society continue to survive and thrive despite all of the adversaries thrown our way.
Best Wishes! Aggie
Jane as always you are an exceptional and insightful writer!
Aggie
My children also have been through this sort of drill. Locks were installed on all the classroom doors and they will be put into lockdown if something happens.
For a few years now(since columbine) there are buttons to push to be let into the school and UNLESS you have clearance you cannot go to any part of the school with out signing in and getting a badge. All parents must all be CORI approved.
Yes, it has changed.
I read somewhere Daniel suggested he move out of home when Anna became pregnant. I do not believe Anna would kick him out.
Being a fan of Anna for years I know how much she loved her son. She was so proud of him. I think, quite simply, she died of a broken heart over losing him. Given his age and location (LA) I am not surprised he dabbled in drugs. He was just one of the unfortunate ones who died.
From People Magazine 2/23, reporter Siobbahn Morrisey:
“When Daniel entered Valley College in Los Angeles a year ago, Smith herself told authorities, her son’s attitude changed and he became abusive. “At first I thought it was drugs,” she says, “but I later found out that he was seeing a girl.” His behavior changed when he was going through a break-up with her, she said.
She also said, “As far as I am aware I don’t know that Daniel was using drugs of any kind, than the one prescribed by Dr. (Sandeep) Kapoor.” After Daniel had stayed out all night, Smith put him out of the house. He went to live with family friend Ray Martino. (A representative of Dr. Kapoor says that the doctor never prescribed medications to Daniel.)”
Wow…also Jane it is hard for me to believe any thing Anna said, not to disrespect her but she lied so much, I am even beginning to wonder the stalker story, did she need him to have a stalker?
I hope we get to the bottom of Daniel’s story. Why was Daniel’s attitude changing and if indeed he had abusive behavior, this tells me something.
I also know Anna’s need to change the story to keep her on the pedestal….I learned a lot watching the mothers behavior
Jane,
Good morning. Is there a link to the People magazine article? I would like to read it.
I notice the time stamp on your post says 4:48 am. That is an admirable dedication to your craft and readers.
Jane,
Please disregard my earlier request for the link. I located the article. Thanks!
Laura P.,
That statement was not meant as a ’slight’ to you.
I’m just tired, old, and worn out, and I don’t like to think
of my daughter having to grow up in this society.
I want a bright future for our children, and things could
always be worse.
I grew up worried about WWIII, over population and
pollution.
My daughter is not like me. She’s outgoing and happy…
more like her daddy.