Pt. 3 - What’s in a Name?
May 31st, 2007 by Jane Devin
Words have meaning and names have power. - Author Unknown
The story of the ragdoll found in the alley has long been forgotten by everyone except me. Then again, it is not my sisters’ legacy to carry. Then, some forty odd years ago, they were mere children given the task of assigning their new sister a name. Anything, my mother told them, as long as it started with a “D.” They found the discarded doll, her name embroidered inside a pink heart on her dirty, naked chest.
I bore that name for the first fourteen years of my life, and hated everything about it from its alleyway origin, to the two Southern syllables that drawled uncomfortably from my mother’s Connecticut tongue. When I filed the legal papers, I decided to make it a clean sweep, and changed my whole name, first, middle and last. I felt positively reborn.
Before the world knew her as Anna Nicole Smith, she was Vicki Lynn Hogan. Nikki Hart, Vicki Hart, and Mama Lynn to son Daniel.
The incarnation of Anna Nicole Smith came about when Vicki signed on as Guess Jeans model for Paul Marciano. It was a sweeping change, but not a rebirth. Her family’s abasing legacy clung to her like moss on a stone. Legally, after her marriage to Texas billionaire J. Howard Marshall, she was Vicki Lynn Marshall. And, if certain stories of an impending marriage are to be believed, she soon would have added the name Stern to her moniker.
When I first started writing about Anna, I did not believe we’d have much in common outside of an unhappy childhood, and I still believe that’s mostly true. What I came to discover is that the human-to-human connection I want to feel when I write about someone came not so much from what I knew about Anna as an adult, but from what remained of her childhood — from stories half-told or denied, to the dismal and hardscrabble facts of her younger years.
It was not the Anna Nicole from the reality show that touched my spirit. It wasn’t the woman with a mouthful of pickle, barking out orders to a worshipping subservient, or the one who treated unwitting blind dates as if they were something to be scraped from the bottom of her glass slipper that made me feel empathy. It wasn’t the one who showed up wasted at awards shows, or who scrambled off to the Bahamas for peace and to avoid a paternity suit, that made me feel compassion.
It was the freckle-faced child with the big dreams and the wish to be anywhere but where she was, and anybody else but herself, that made me see that all the missteps and disasters that followed made sense. Not good sense. Not the kind that’s easy to find, much less embrace, but the kind you dig for under the rubble when more convenient answers have failed.
I don’t believe that Anna Nicole Smith ever became the woman Vicki Lynn Hogan was meant to be. I believe that somewhere along the twisted line, the child that needed make-believe to make it through her days became a woman-child who was unable to break away from a place of never enough. Never enough money or love. Never enough attention, or people around her who could make her feel special enough, or make the monsters that scared her go away.
She had so much in the way of beauty, and was as photogenic as any supermodel, but her wanted talents never caught up with her lofty ambitions. As an actress, she flew under the radar of even B-movies. As a spokesperson, her believability factor was low. As a comedienne, her act as the ditzy blonde was often not funny, but sad. She was too raw, it seems, to even play herself well on TV. Perhaps raw is not the right word – but unfinished.
I’ve come to see Anna as a not quite there, not fully realized human being. A woman who didn’t really know who she was or ultimately could be. Who never managed the clean sweep she really wanted, or the rebirth she likely deserved. A woman who was never able to come to terms with the things that either motivated her or haunted her, but who was fearless enough on several fronts to court public attention, conflict and pain.
As a mother, she seemed to love deeply and fiercely, but without the cache of experience most people take from their own childhoods. Daniel was not just her son, but her best friend and confidante — her “rock” and her world. Still, the strongest bond of love wasn’t enough to prevent disaster — for her, or for him.
Jane I’m on the edge of my seat…
Girl you are so good…
WOW JANE AWESOME JOB AS ALWAYS
OMG, Jane you are GREAT! I can’t wait for the rest.
Linda
PA
Excellant Jane…you can always find the words that no one else can find. I just hope someday I can be a good writer, like you are.
I’ve always felt the same way as you have when you said, “I’ve come to see Anna as a not quite there, not fully realized human being. A woman who didn’t really know who she was or ultimately could be.” But of course in different words. I’ve always felt that she was lost, not lost in what she wanted to be in life, but lost within herself. I think one thing was always clear, she wanted to be loved. She wanted someone to love her the way she could love them. Someone to take care of her and tell her everything will be alright. And of course, someone to treat her like a princess. But then what women doesnt?
The one thing that does give me comfort with all this saddness, is that now, Anna know’s who she is, and is perfectly at peace. There is no more saddness or pain for her. And she’s strolling along the beach with her son, watching over Dannielynn.
Dearest Jane, you not only write from the heart..you also write to the heart.
In everything that you write, it is more than just the emotion that your words call forth from your readers, it is the way you use language to help us to understand something that might be foreign to us. It is the way you have of letting those of us who are all too familiar with such circumstances know that we are not alone. It is the way we feel when we get to the end of a post. We
always seem to take a deep breath and want the writing to continue.
Eloquently written with a keen eye and a strong hold on the complexity and delicacy of the human spirit. Awesome!!! I was mesmerized by your words.
I believe Anna’s love for Daniel was a beautiful gift from God.
Dani Marie…….. you have expressed my thoughts exactly. As always Jane you have given life to the written word. I can almost see the young Vicki, I notice that even when you compare the parallels in your lives, that you hold back that teeny bit of yourself, this is a very public forum for something so personal.
Dear Jane,
I didn’t like my name either, especially since it was always spelled wrong in America, and the kids at school use to make obscene rhymes using my last name that started with the same letter. But, I’m lucky at least my parents didn’t call me Daisy, or something simple. They gave me a good name with a beautiful meaning and I’m starting to actually like it now.
Anna never escaped her childhood, did she?
So, maybe that’s why we’re all here now, mothering her memory.
Jane, thank you for your inner thoughts and feelings. You are greatly appreciated for putting the emotion into words what most of us can not.
Freida, I like that phrase very much .. “mothering her memory” Its absolutely perfect! TY for that!
Dear Jane:
Again you have amazed us with your gifted writing. You have just the right words to put on paper. Talent like yours is rare. Anna’s life was very complicated with many highs and lows, but you are right her childhood kept her from achieving her ambitions. And as stated she was not quite there, not fully realized human being. What a sad story for such a beautiful person. I believe that Anna had inner beauty that no one but these closest to her could see. The child like facade she portrayed was a cover up for her true feelings.
Thanks again for a great job.
Jane, I have to say that I agree with everything you have written. I have always felt Anna was like a lost soul and I’m sure much of this had to do with her childhood. It is so sad when you see a woman that never really figures who they truely are and what they could accomplish. The only thing that she felt she really accomplished was her children. I believe she would have pulled through all of this mess a stronger and better person, but now we will never know. Well written story, thank you.
Once again Jane…AWESOME job…and Freida I love the coined phrase “mothering a memory”
Jane , i think i have posted here once before i like to read the thing that you put so gently about Anna she was a lost soul as we all know but thier is in all of us just a little bit of our own self that is lost .I know as i have grown older i have thing come back into my mind that i wish i could forget but if i did i guess i would not have grown from them. My childrens give me my zest for life and my friends also do the people we have grown to be here with you are people i would like to think i would bake a apple pie and says welcome to my world .because friendship are a blessing from god just like we cannot pick our family but we can pick our friends . I hope you trouble or at your feets now and the wind to your backand alittle love from you friends all around you.
gagi
Jane I found the forgiveness trap yesterday, it was life changing (guilt relieving). It is the first article I read about abuse which makes the most sense. You have a God given gift, helpful to others. I pray you continue the rest of your life with your in depth understanding.
About this love Anna had for her son, this is my question, was this love the kind in which we should encourage? As a mom shouldn’t we show good example, isn’t that our first responsibility? Isn’t this true love. Was Anna’s kind of love suffocating? Was it self serving, meeting the parents needs instead of the child’s needs? Was it controlling, did the child have free will? Did Anna repeat what she knew, did she ever cut the cancer from her childhood out?
Well done, Jane.
I truly think that everything you write is telling of someone else’s life also.Your writings are amazing. I hope your writings bring thought,revitalization, peace and comfort to those in the same or similar situations. They even make me get the old dusty mirror out and take a look at my life.LOL. We can all say what we shudda, cudda and wudda done, but it’s the promise we make to ourselves today that will either make or break our tomorrow.
I think Anna’s life was very complicated to us, looking in from the outside. So much had happened to her in her life until I can hardly fathom how she functioned at all. She felt betrayed by those she tried to love, etc. I think all of us might have felt some of the same things she felt at one time or another.
Few people pass through life without feeling the sting of betrayal, the loss of friendship or the failure of important relationships.At those times, you may feel that the pain of a broken heart will cling to you for the rest of your days and you will never be whole again. This is why we all need to stay prayed up so that we will have the power of God to lean on. His love is constant and predictable. With the assurance of his love comes hope- hope that you will love again, trust again and offer your heart again. I just hope and pray that Anna has found the peace and joy that she couldn’t find in life.
Hopefully, we can all learn something from this tragedy that has affected all of our lives in one way or another. I
Pheeewwww. what wonderful pix over at Getty’’s!
Thank you for posting the link!
Great photos with her ‘wee baby girl, and great ones with Howard. I had never doubted that Howard loved her above and beyond his own soul, his masculinity, and so on and so forth, but some of these pix are soooo tellling…. you simply cannot fake that kind of expression, you cannot project such deep, slavish devotion…. it seemed he had wrapped his entire being around Anna, to love and to watch over her.
On page 10 of the Anna pix at Getty’s, take a good look at image # 57, here you can see that Howard is actually quite a HANDSOME MAN. Not a pretty boy with a truncated nose, but a man. For once, he does not seem beaten down or run over by a Daily News delivery truck. For once, he seems relaxed and secure in his place by his beloved’s side.
And Jane, once again a great write-up. Salute you, lady!
I think Anna never learned how to cope, how to trust or who to trust
Kristina,
I agree. Howard was all about Anna.Sounds delicious to me. LOL
Dear Maryst,
Anna trusted Howard, that’s clear.
Gosh, seemed to have lived for her photos to be taken ….
That aside, it is also cleat she loved both of her children deeply.
Kristina, I do not doubt her love for them, I question is this the kind of love that is healthy for the child. I am talking about the child not the adult. I know Anna had a lot of problems to over come and I feel sorry for her life. That is not my question. I do not want to walk away from this without saying we have to look out for our children, it is our first responsibility as their parent. I understand Anna did not have an good example to learn from but we can learn.
Jane,
Thanks for Part 3; again a touching piece. You really have a wonderful gift which, I know, you must treasure dearly.
Kristina,
I missed the link at Getty’s. Would you mind posting it again, so that I may view the photographs (especially Image No. 57)? It is always extremely uplifting for me to see Howard in a lighter frame of mind and, not the sorrowful soul, he seems to be today. Thank you!
Gabrielle,
http://www.gettyimages.com
Then you have to select your country and language. And then, type Anna Nicole Smith in Search, and pages and pages will come out.
Page 9 and 10 are the most talked about, and that nice photo of Howard is on page 1o, you gotta scroll down to find it though.
Tomorrow am going to post my own follow-up in my blog at
http://www.karinavita.bravejournal.com
and would that I could showcase THAT photo there! Alas, prob’ly there are copyright issues, and would not be appropriate.
Dear Maryst, look, Anna CARED about Howard, and Howard LOVED Anna. That’s what’s important when we think about them. They were a devoted couple. Good friends, loyal, longtime companions. Howard loved her dearly and deeply. Am convinced that he did not stop loving her, and neither will he, ever.
Oh my God!
Jane! Art Harris!
Oh please! Come, dig your pens into this Headline:
Opri Bags Birkhead’s $$$$$$$$$
Oh my God just saw it TMZ
I think this exonerates Howard K Stern, proving that his and Anna’s detractors were attacking them for their own agendas … and of course the manner with which Debra Opri does business … hey, SHE did not win the case for Larry, what won is A - He IS the biological dad of Dannielynn, thus, if he were not, no matter what Opri did, she would not have won the case, but also, very importantly, B - Anna Nicole, may she rest in peace, DIED.
Howard K Stern caved in under very true and sincere grief, and could not fight to fulfill this particular wish of Anna, which was not turn the baby girl over to Larry.
IMO, D.O’s behavior makes me think that Larry’s aggressive pursuit of Anna after Daniel’s death, his horrific emails to her calling her the devil and telling her she’d burn in hell, was not entirely his own doing. Perhaps, if he had not hired a lawyer like Debra Opri, and continued to stay in touch with Anna in a warmer, kinder manner, Anna might have communicated with him and in her own good time, would have worked out something between them.
I pray that Anna will be able to watch over her baby girl’s life and safety from Heaven. This ‘wee innocent needs lotsa guardian angels.
Jane,
Gotta add this too: “What’s in a Name” made me think, and I shall no longer refer to Anna Nicole as Anna/Vicky. Nope. When she changed her name, she wanted to leave the past and all the associated baggage, behind. Too bad that the past did leave her.
Nevertheless, yes, yes, yes, she was “Anna Nicole.”
Kristina,
I agree somewhat with you, but the part about the emails from Larry to Anna, I respectfully disagree. He should have had more compassion than that. It was during a very troubling time for Anna. No matter what, he shouldn’t have done it, I don’t care what his motives were. What one sows, he or she will surely reap. What is done is done and it can’t be undone. I just hope everyone will soon be able to put this behind them and move on.
EJ, sure, of course you are right, he should not have done it. I am not excusing it at all. Am just inclined — after reading this latest twist — to think that D.O might have encouraged the worst in him.
Gabrille:
Go to www.gettyimages.com
Key in your country and language, when the appropriate home page comes up key in Search Anna Nicole Smith, and oodles of pages will load.
Page 10 contains that photo. You gotta scroll down to find it.
But it’s a good one, a very relaxed and handsome Howard.
Jane, I agree with your words and insight. Very good, indeed.
Thanks, Freida, for the compliment (on the other link). I think we all just try to have compassion, in combination with objective judgment. In spite of Anna’s weaknesses, she was loyal to her “trusted” friends, like Howard and Moe and their respective families, etc.
Mary, if I may put in my thoughts here regarding parental alienation? Only judging from the ‘actions’ of all involved, didn’t it seem to you that things got out of hand? It seemed to me that things really picked up steam, when Larry hired Debra Opri. She acted like a vicious ‘pit bull’, didn’t she? I guess I just can’t get away from Larry’s pushy behavior in disguise, hiding behind her skirts, like he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was always “too” careful to play the “innocent” on TV, during interviews, and in general, his appearance to the public. It struck me as very phony.
I’ve said before that we will never know Larry’s true motives. Perhaps he believed some of what he was doing, but he had to have known the effects it was having on Anna’s life, didn’t he? He couldn’t have been that stupid not to know that, in my view. I just can’t get over the fact that he harassed Anna just 3 1/2 weeks after Daniel’s death. I can’t comprehend how anyone could refer to her son as “that kid”. Sometimes, our words DO belie our true feelings. Anna loved Daniel, and that comment could not have set well with her at all. In fact, it may reveal that Larry had *some* contempt for Daniel. I don’t know why, but she probably picked up on it.
That brings me to another interesting point the MEDIA failed miserably to “get”. If Howard had showed even the remotest contempt or jealousy or anything negative about Daniel, I’m convinced he wouldn’t have lasted longer than a nanosecond in Anna’s life, agree? Yet, the Media constantly acted as if THEY were on medication themselves. It was amazing to witness.
Perhaps, Larry has had some time to think about what he’s done. Perhaps, he was busy thinking, as he sat next to Opri during Anna’s eulogy in the church, thinking about how Howard has suffered and was suffering. Of course, it didn’t make him stop his trademark pitch. Still, some things were, no doubt, beginning to SINK IN for him. This is what I HOPE for. It was about that time that he fired Opri, so maybe it’s a ‘reach’, but maybe things were sinking in for him about everything. If he has apologized to Howard, we’ll not know, at least for now. And, it’s not important we *know*, because it’s between the two of them. I’m sure that even Howard has regrets, as well, on some level, in some ways…
So, no, I don’t think Anna deliberately set out to alienate Larry. If that were the case, she would have gotten a “Bio-Dad” like Jodie Foster, and it all would have been legal and ‘hush-hush’, don’t you agree? But, Anna began an affair of the heart with him initially. I tend to think, though, that Anna saw some dishonest things in Larry, perhaps, some ‘phoniness’ in him. She might not have been the brightest lightbulb in the room, but she had strong perception or intuition and could *read* people….is what I think, in just looking at her eyes and the way she would look at people. She wasn’t stupid in that area, and I think that’s one thing Howard really liked about her. Also, if what Moe said is true, and I have no reason to believe it’s not the truth, then, Larry was abusive. How abusive, and in what manner, we don’t know.
Anyway, that’s what I have observed and tend to believe about the parental alienation idea. What do you think?
Kristina,
I saw those photos and I thought they were very good looking. I do think D.O. encouraged him to take it to the media. BAD MISTAKE! Now they’re fighting. It was everyone against Howard at first, but now look. We have to be careful what we do, where we go and who we take with us. That’s a given fact!
Kristina,
I need some clarification. Since Debra Opri had negotiated this million dollar contract with NBC on Larry’s behalf does it mean he lied in Florida when asked by Millstein if he was receiving renumeration? Was this contract negotiated after that hearing?
What a good point, A.P.!
I don’t know, of course, but hey, here is another great clue for an investigative journalist to dig in!
Today I paid many visits to art harrris and tmz as well as here, and am writing in my own place about this too, and am dizzy. Why? What a study of the various shades of human nature!!!!
For example, re. Horizons: Howard K Stern HAS to remain in Horizons to the bitter end because he has to fight on behalf of Anna’s estate, after all, she appointed him executor and guardian.
Just think about this: Larry got great publicity via Opri and her machinery and made money, FS and GBT, if they win Horizons, are geared to make millions in profit, Greta and Nancy racked up ratings, and the list goes on and on.
But the fact is, really, Howard K Stern is not the one making money.
He is not the beneficiary of Anna’s estate, Dannielynn is, and through her , Larry B.
So he’s there, fighting, and making money for other people.
Call him a gofer, a slave, whatever else you want, but you cannot say that he did not love Anna more than anything else on this earth.
Wow.
I hope one day he’ll find happiness.
Now Larry is getting more publicity, the kind he would like to go away. I don’t know what happened between him and D. O., but he has to pay his bill. After mediation,it may not be as much as she’s set forth, but he has to pay and he will pay. I don’t care for her because of her boisterous attitude toward Howard, but she did represent him and seemingly, he agreed to her hourly rate and whatever else.
Dear A.P.
Here is a link regarding date of renumeration for Larry P
http://www.luckmedia.com/debraopri/pressrelease.html
According to the date given by Opri, she negotiated the deal for Birkhead in March of 2007.
No indication of exactly what day. Anna died in February, and the court hearing in Florida was sometime in February, don’t recall exact date. But it seems D.O negotiated the deal afterwards, unless she did before, but it was not signed and sealed until March ‘07.
Here is where an investigative journalist comes in!
Dear A.P.
OK, since “inquiring minds want to know” … I gotta touch upon your above excellent point once more:
Larry signed a contract with D.O. way back when, in September of 2006, before Dannielynn was born and Daniel and Anna passed away.
Two of the clauses in the contract are
2) To place Mr. Birkhead in a favorable light for a future career in the media.
3) To establish him as a celebrity so that his photos would have greater worth.
Larry swore in Judge Seidlin’s court in FL, upon being questioned by Milstein, that he did not receive any renumeration, but also, correct me if I am wrong, that he did not expect any.
Though I believe he said something like that he could be receiving more income through the photos he owned of Anna.
I don’t recall the court session verbatim.
However, we can read that the contract with D.O. included that D.O. would make him a media person, meaning, greater renumeration for photo shoots and possibly TV shows. So this shows an “expectation of renumeration connected to his relationship with Anna.”
So, if he signed this contract prior the said FL Court date, and then afterwards, received monies … does this mean he lied under oath?
Curious issue to contemplate
Thank-you so much. I love your site
Kristina,
Excellent points!! Consider another clause in Opri’s contract which states:
To find the funds to do all of the above (pertaining to the clauses you cited)
Birkhead testified on February 22. He fired Opri on March 13 via an e-mail.
According to TMZ they had been butting heads for weeks. There are three weeks between the two dates. Was Larry aware of upcoming, ongoing or pending negotiations when under oath?
Kristina,
Thank you so much for posting the Getty Link with specific instructions. I don’t think I would have been able to figure out the different steps needed to view the photos, had you not included the instructions. As soon as I finish this, I will attempt to visit the site. Also, thanks for including your website address; I will be sure to visit it. I just love to visit sites that do not spew venom about Howard but treat him with the respect which he deserves.
Debra Opri repeatedly called Howard a ‘murderer’ during the hearing in Florida and, what amazed me, was that Judge Seidlin permitted her to do so. I am ‘on the fence’, where Larry is concerned but, if he signed the contract with NBC, prior to the Florida Court Hearing, then he committed perjury (regarding making money, other than projected photograph money). Thus, the name-calling Ms Opri, knew that Larry was lying under oath and allowed him to do so. Looks like she will be getting her comeuppances if Larry goes ahead with his law suit! She put part of the million dollars in a trust account and would not return it to him and, supposedly, this is why Larry fired her. As someone on TV said today, “….No one wants to hire a corrupt attorney so she may find it difficult, to find future clients”. She also may have to account to the California State Bar Association for her unethical maneuvering.
Gabrielle,
I love your name. Gabrielle is my daughter’s name.
Everytime I watched Debra Opri in the media I would cringe. It was a feeling similar to encountering a vicious attack dog, like a pit bull or rottweiler. She was a strong advocate for her client, but you are right, her tactics were extreme at times.
A.P.,
Yes, I agree with you, Debra Opri is a very strong advocate for her clients, who include Michael Jackson (among other celebrities). This is why she makes the big bucks
In reading various postings, it is said that she was eager to represent L.B., knowing how infamous the case would become. Her ultimate goal was to have her own T.V. show. To me, watching her show, would be worse than
watching (and listenening) to Nancy Grace, Greta Van Susteren, Geraldo Reveira and Kimberley Guilfoyle but, it seems that, the more these people crucify innocent people, the higher their ratings. I have written many letters to the Neworks complaining about their unethical accusations; to no avail.
Thanks for the nice words regarding my name.
Correction to my previous post: Should be Networks and not Neworks.
I keep hearing that every dog has its day but so far I cannot remember any event I can think of and cite as an example. I do hope that Debra Opri and Larry’s shenanigans will provide me with that example so that I, too, can convincingly say that every dog has its day!
Jane,
Your writings are so gripping and powerful. You don’t just paint a picture you give us a 3D in reality. Never ever stop, your words are compelling to say the least. I always look forward to reading your writings.
Cynthia
Larry stated UNDER OATH that he would sell his shirt, his tie, pictures and anything else to be able to get his daughter back. He is not a liar!
Debra Opri was NOT Michael Jackson’s attorney; she represented his parents. I heard that she approached them at the outset of the trial and offered her services free.
Opri treated Howard terribly and unjustly and, yet, he did not let her win..He laughed right in her face when he was on the witness stand.
Greta said that right after Larry became Opri’s client, he called her (Greta).
Greta asked “why Opri” and he said because she was taking ot for free.
Yes, Larry signed the contracts - like Anna signed that will - and he probably should have READ it first. But in any case, it does not sound like Opri is on good legal ground to withhold Larry’s money. I guess we’ll see.
Larry’s attorney TROPE is a partner of RON RALE, so Howard is obviously helping Larry. The address of Mr. Trope on Larry’s lawsuit is the same address that Howard gave for himself on Anna’s death certificate. Howard is very smart and he is the one who has probably figured out all of the misdeeds, legally speaking, of Ms. Opri.
Linda, interesting post. I may dislike Opri, but I seriously doubt she is *stupid*, legally speaking. I have no doubt that LB signed a contract that enabled her to put any monies he earned AFTER the signing of the contract into a trust account, so that it would be held to pay out what he would owe her. There is NO way Opri would have NOT had a clause in her contract to protect her, in the event of a firing. No way. She wouldn’t have been that stupid. Still, a lawsuit against her will cause her grief and rue the day she ever met LB, let alone Howard.
I am a believer in following the law. If Larry signed a detailed contract and didn’t READ it, that’s his problem! Too bad, but he should be responsible and pay her whatever she owes. After he gets done paying TROPE, he won’t have enough to pay her, is what I’m thinking.
Anyway, this is probably why ALMOST ALL attorneys have bad reputations, because they litigate everyone to death.
Mistake made, I meant to say “whatever HE owes”, not whatever she owes.
Linda
Thats right I remember Larry saying something about it being Free!
#43, the address Howard gave on the will is not the same as Larry’s attorney!
I have to correct my statement#47. It’s not the same address Howard gave on the death certificate.