Oct 13 2007
WCM - 2
Politics aside, my year began strangely, with a man I’ll call Ted*.
Ted is a mail carrier, who has peed on a customer’s lawn, eaten day old donuts from another customer’s bird feeder, and assaulted a UPS driver. He has called the cops on customers who dared to park their own boats or trailers in front of their own houses. He stopped mail delivery to all customers on his route that didn’t have 1.5″ house numbers on the driver’s side of their mailbox. He has sent people’s mail back unclaimed because customers went four days without picking their mail up. He has put parcels in Target bags and hung them from customer mailboxes.
I could go on, but surely you understand that Ted is not exactly USPS poster-man material. What you may not understand, if you are of the logical persuasion, is that Ted – and he has said this out loud – believes that he is better at his job than 99.9% of his coworkers.
Ted believes Elvis is alive and that the CIA killed Kennedy. He let his house go into foreclosure because he read somewhere that it would take the bank a year to kick him out and he wanted to save money. With that saved money, he went into Herbalife sales, believing all the pumped-up sales hype about instant riches.
That Ted is a meatball, and that the USPS and NRLCA have a creeping meatballism mentality for keeping him goes, I think, without saying. And he would easily roll out of my consciousness but for one disturbing fact. Ted has two kids – that he and his equally weird wife are home-schooling — because, as Ted says, he does not want them getting the wrong ideas. The wife, by the way, works three part-time jobs to support Ted in his quest to become rags-to-riches material. You know, the kind whose story begins with “Once, I was down and out. I was miserable in my job, my house was being foreclosed on. . .”, and ends with a lifesaving pyramid scheme, a suburban mansion and a Mercedes.
In the meanwhile, the kids are either going to grow up being creeping meatballs themselves, or they’ll reach an age of independence, look around, and realize that their parents were crazy. They’ll understand that Elvis really is dead, and that a pyramid scheme truly isn’t the eighth wonder of the world.
We can only hope.
*Name changed to prevent *Ted from secretly spitting on something I own, which is just another one of his iodi nescient habits.
30 responses so far
Ted sounds like some of the people that I have unfortunately met on the internet.
I’m just glad that they can’t spit on me. Cause I think they would :-p
Ikes — I wonder who’s teaching the kids while evrybody’s off at work? Are they learning all their conspiracy theories?
Maybe Ted’s the reason other postal workers go postal. It’s got to be frustrating to see that kind of behavior and know he’ll never get fired!
I can vent? Okay then.
I can’s tell you where I work, but there are counselors and teenagers involved. And this counselor who I’ll name **Tina** was in a session with a teenager. I was monitoring. The teenager had been through a life of pure hell, some serious serious stuff that most adults could not handle. She’s a strong girl, though, and bright.
The girl, who was 16 at the time, was discussing a particularly traumatic event that happened with her sister. She began to softly cry. She said “my sister is so pretty” and the counselor then took the opportunity to tell her “You’d be pretty, too, if you took better care of yourself and made an effort with your appearance.”
WTF???? The girl was stunned. I was shocked. I complained to the counselor and about her, but the director (a male) didn’t think it was a big deal.
What a terrible story, LBJ. My heart goes out to that girl. - JD
LBJ, the counselor was at least trying.
My daughter was in 6th grade some years ago, when a so called educator said to her.
“You know, since you are Mexican (we are many generations American, of Mexican/Irish decent, of which we are very proud), You really should stop hanging around your best friend(a beautiful mixed race girl), because you are just going to end up pregnant. My daughter was 12 at the time! She said Mom, this lady only likes the white kids, she is mean to everyone else. I had a chilly meeting with this woman, who denied it all. And I ended up taking my daughter out of the class eventually. All my daughter represented to her was a future welfare recipient. She couldn’t even bring herself to teach my child properly. Daughter by the way, is a surgical assistant now, and I couldn’t be prouder.
People just don’t know the power of words. They make or break you. I don’t think the counselor meant any harm, but certainly could have chosen their words more carefully.
Good for you for removing her from a toxic teacher, Allison. Childhood is too short. - JD
Allison, you think she was trying? The way I see it, she was being cold and she totally misinterpreted the girl’s pain. The girl was not expressing some sort of jealousy. She was remembering a double-beating her sister took at the hands of both mom and boyfriend. She veered off into “my sister’s so pretty” in rememberance of a sister she hadn’t seen in a few years.
I should have explained that, but I thought saying she was crying was sufficient. To be told that one should work on their appearance in the midst of an emotional meltdown? That’s not “trying” to me. It’s coldness. but maybe you had to be there.
That’s wonderful about your kid bypassing that one teacher’s crappy expectations and prejudice. I think parents like you, who their kids can talk to and who care, are the reason many kids overcome. The tape that school or society plays for certain young ones is often about failure or is negative. Kids need as much of the positive as they can get to change that tape.
LMAO, Jane!
Here’s my meatball story.
Many years ago, while a student in L.A., I shared a small apartment with three other women, one of whom was a total slob. She’s the one I shared a bedroom with. It didn’t matter how many times I asked, begged, or insisted she clean up, she just wouldn’t. It was so bad. She would leave rotting fruit under her bed or on her nightstand. Fruitflies were everywhere. She never changed her bedding and left her dirty clothes all over. The room stunk so bad.
We had a house meeting she didn’t show up for. I wanted to ask her to leave, but another one of roommates said no, she’s my friend, let’s give her another chance. So we did. We wrote a note to her, all of us signed it, and it was very polite but insistent that she start cleaning her half of the room. A couple of weeks went by, nothing. No change.
I couldn’t afford to move, so I ended up taking a whole day off to clean the mess up, and it was no easy task. I did her laundry, changed her sheets, washed all the dishes she left in her room, trucked out about two bags of garbage. When she came home, I explained that I meant no offense to her but couldn’t live with the mess any longer. She didn’t say anything except “thanks.” She then went to the room, threw her dirty clothes on the floor, and within a few days it was back to disaster.
The day before rent was due, she decided that she’d “had enough” and told us she was moving, putting us all (and we were dirt poor) in a terrible situation. She then waited until we were all gone from the apartment, retrieved a couple of bags of trash from the outside dumspter, and emptied them into our apartment. On the couches, the beds, on the floor. Coffee grounds, banana peels, and molded spaghetti were among the ingredients.
The talk among our circle of acquaintances was that she referred to us as “the bitches” and blamed us, me in particular, for her “getting kicked out.” Way to spin a story, huh?
She graduated, last I heard, with a degree in psychology and was going for her Master’s.
Lonnie, ah behold! The spin to the story. LOL, I know it well. People act badly and then blame others. They ignore their wrong-doings, refuse to take any responsibility, and instead make it all someone else’s fault.
In this vein, years ago I lent a car to a neighbor who was going through a difficult time. It was an old car, one that I hadn’t driven for a long time and kept for emergencies, but it ran. I explained to her that I’d loan her the car, but that I only had limited non-driving insurance on it, and that she’d have to buy a policy suitable for driving. She agreed she would. She didn’t and got into a minor fender bender. It was my car, so I was cited for insufficient insurance and had to pay a $250 fine. She refused any responsibility, so I asked that she return the car. She did, and didn’t bother to clean the mounds of trash she had inside. I shrugged it off as a lesson learned, but was then surprised by the story she told other neighbors. About how I took “her” car away from her, how I told her it was insured, and how was she to know? Now she didn’t have transportation. It was all my fault.
Sometimes trying to help ends up being an unexpected and undeserved lesson in hurt.
He, a furrier, kept putting traps on my property. I kept removing them. He kept putting them back.One day he comes over to my cabin and tells me he’s run out of traps and demands that I give him the ones I removed back.
I didn’t, and the idiot calls the Sheriff. Sheriff says he can’t put traps on my property, it’s trespassing. The guy refuses to leave, argues, says he’ll stay until I give him back his property. He’s arrested.
I’m not there year-round, so the guy still sneaks his traps in. My friend who lives close by, removes and hides them when she can.
I don’t believe home schooling is necessarily a good thing…
I think we can over-protect our kids…
I also think ‘we’ all could do a better job, educating ‘our’ kids.’
Wish we could down-size our public education system…make schools smaller…give each individual child, more attention, and give each individual teacher, more attention, too.
Wish we could, get down to basics, locally, instead of federally.
Wish big cities, would broaden instead of building ‘up.’
Wish more people would ‘vote’ for their local representatives…instead of (yet, also) for their ‘president.’
I sure do wish and believe and think a lot…don’t I, LOL.
Ted sounds like the Jon Waters version of Clifford Clavin. I see income potential here, Jane. Get writing!
I’m getting there, Alison.
The start of the book writing was postponed due to the move, but I just rearranged my schedule to begin 10/28. At that point, the posts here will be much less frequent. I do invite anyone who has an interest to become a guest blogger here while I’m away!
Jane, I am so ecstatic to hear that you’ll be able to write your book! I cannot wait to read it. If you can’t find guest bloggers are you going to remove the site, or just quit writing here? I would volunteer, but my writing isn’t up to snuff. I’d be happy to do anything else you might need though, just ask.
RJ shared the outline with me and I am intrigued! I know you’ll put 1000% into this effort as you do everything else. And the result, I’m sure for you, will be much more satisfying.
Funny but all my ‘meatball’ stories from this year have to do with the internet! FOFL! Like Joni I’m pretty new to much of the internet. I’ve used computers for years, but only since I retired have I ’surfed’. What a world out there. Your site is such a safe harbor.
Thank you, Jane. I look forward to June, when you said you’d be finished. Is that still the date?
okay–i have to remember what i’ve read from u so far jane and totally believe this to be true–but——ARE U ******* KIDDING ME?? Got bills from purchases made from credit cards u never applied for? got debit withdrawals u never made? identity theft in your future according to your new horoscope? got telephone calls from a lonely man trying to escape his humdrum life until he makes his millions?? OMG–the damage this guy could wreak!!
We leave so much of ourselves out there in trust to those of whom we have no clue of their trustworthiness.
so glad i met u through rosie–still don’t know your website–i keep paging down rosies site to get here—what is it?
oh, and yes, have started on my journey into truthout.org and huffington post!
take care jane—-june
thanks again jane.
The home address is http:janedevin.com, j. Hope you enjoy the other sites, too! - JD
Reminds me of a lot of people I know and see daily who work with the public. I had a wonderful father. He was a true genius, extremely handsome, well educated and he was miserable! I always knew (even when I was a little girl) that my father was special and I felt he was trapped in a very ordinary world (nice wife, 3 daughters, good job, etc.) but he was not an ordinary man. He was trapped in a world that was no where good enough for him. I saw it all my life - and I worried, watched his every move, facial expression, his moods. When he died I was so angry. I was angry at everyone, angry because I felt that no one really knew him - knew how special he was. I watched him all my life deal with such ordinary people and with such respect and all the while I felt sorry for them and him. I felt that there was no one good enough or smart enough to deal with, or match wits with him.
I found it difficult to deal with losing him, I saw a doctor, took medication, talked hour after hour, after hour about him and his life. Finally she said “I wonder what your life would have been like had you had a different father.” I never saw her again, I wanted to scream, slap her - something! Even she did not understand that because of him I was supposed to be special too and he paid the price for that - not me! I was not special enough. He was a great man, a born leader and he gave 100% of himself to raising his three little girls. I still feel guilty and sad about that and she should have known.
Annie, that is such a sad story. I have known two people in my life who I felt were truly “too good for this world” and both of them lived exceptionally challenging lives — taunted and misunderstood by others, subject to mean-spirited gossip, abnormally challenged by an inordinate amount obstacles — and yet. . .with all of that, Annie, they would have never wished anyone in their life any ill at all. They would not have wished, especially, for them to feel inferior. As a parent, I can’t imagine your father would have wished these feelings upon you. - JD
HI Jane,
Do you ever watch Wife Swap or the other one that is the same type? The name of it escapes me now. Anyway, it is unbelievable to watch the parents that “home school” and it is frightening to think of the burden that deficient homeschooling could cause. 1.1 million children were home schooled in 2003 according to the National Center for education statistics. It says that 51 % out perform children in traditional education. What about the 500,000 that may come out of home schooling and be clueless? How scary is that? I am not knocking home school because I know that there are many parents who take it very seriously, but there are some that are not!!! AND…..what about social isolation of these children?? sheesh!
Trading Spouses is the name of the other, and yes I’ve seen them both. Marguerite the “God Warrior” is forever burned in my brain — HEATHENS! GARGOYLES! Anyway, I agree that some parents do an excellent job at home-schooling, and they’re probably the same parents who make sure their kids are not socially isolated. Others seem to home-school for some odd reasons, and it doesn’t seem to be about their kids best interests. - JD
Jane,
Please know that I’m not being patronizing and I ask the following question with sincerity. What does “too good for this world” mean? Is that a religous reference? Or is that a phrase people use to describe others who are.
Not patronizing at all, Linda, good question. The meaning I ascribe to it is someone who is unusually beautiful in both mind and spirit. - JD
I am pleased to say that I now have the best mail carrier, the same one for about twelve years. Prior to that, I had my own Ted, who would leave packages on top of my mailbox, or throw them on the ground. I got my neighbors mail all the time, and sometimes they actually returned mine. Birthday cards went missing and never showed up, but others, the ones without gift cards or money, were delivered with the flaps opened and poorly resealed. I complained dozens of times, but it never did any good. I was so happy when I moved. Now I get my cards, my own mail, rarely a mistake is made and when it is, Gary takes care of it right away.
Enjoying your site, Jane!
LBJ, Let me clarify what I meant by “The counselor was at least trying”.
I didn’t mean to imply she was great at her job that day. I wasn’t there, you were, so you are in the position to call it. I meant people just don’t think about how the words we choose can have such an impact on someones future. I guess I meant to say, she was trying to give a positive message; but I agree, it was the wrong one!
Jane:
Thank you for the response to my post. You understand exactly what I was trying to say “they would have never wished anyone in their life any ill at all. They would not have wished, especially, for them to feel inferior”. That is what I watched my father do his entire life - making sure that he did not make anyone feel inferior, and I loved him for it. Another thing - I loved your response to Linda in explaining the meaning of “being to good for this world” - “someone who is unusually beautiful in both mind and spirit”. That is exactly what I saw in my father but being that special did come with a price. I was blessed and can’t imagine what my life would have been like with an ordinary father - as the Doctor suggested.
Hi Alison,
It’s okay, I knew what you meant.
For me, though, the comment was stinging. The way I perceived it, and the girl perceived it, was that she wasn’t beautiful…..but would be if she “took care of herself” with makeup and better clothes. And that, in the midst of talking about the abuse she both witnessed and suffered just seemed so out of line.
Annie, wow……I agree with Jane that your story is heartbreaking. There is a line in a Sara McLaughlin (sp?) song that says “there’s always some reason to feel not good enough and its hard at the end of the day”. Sara is right.
Annie, if we all compared ourselves to the super-special people we knew, not only parents, but others, we could find ourselves coming up short and not feeling at all special.
For me, I’m socially kind of a misfit. I don’t mean to be, I just am. It takes other people a long time to warm up to me, if they do at all. I’m a good person, but I seem to lack something other people in general find worthwhile. I really have to stretttchhhhhhh to (as Ro says), “be seen.” Otherwise, I’m really kind of invisible to others. Yet the few friends I do have are precious and loyal.
Anyway, didn’t mean to go on about me. I’m just saying-thinking that sometimes it’s enough to appreciate other people for being extra-special without demanding the same for yourself.
Jane, I remember Margurite the God Warrior!! LOL. I remember how she tore up the check and said it came from the devil. In a follow up show though she had cashed it and was going to get gastric bypass surgery.
She was funny and I couldn’t help like her even for all her craziness. I felt for the younger sister though. She seemed to get lost in the shuffle.
LBJ…….After reading your post I think that YOU are one of those extra special people. You said “I’m just saying-thinking that sometimes it’s enough to appreciate other people for being extra-special without demanding the same for yourself”. What a beautiful thing to say. I think those “few precious and loyal friends” of yours are blessed to have a friend like you. I do doubt that I (or anyone) would have to stretttchhhhhhh to see the good in you.
I have to second that last comment from Annie.
LBJ if you could find yourself liking the God Warrior, you must be the kindest person I could fathom!
Annie and Allison, you two are so sweet.
Thank you for bringing some sunlight into my evening.
Hi Jane:
I have been away since you ended the Anna saga. Came back today to check your site. I am sorry to tell you I was horrified at the changes, especially of seeing Rosie O’Donnell prominently displayed, as I find her to be …. beyond words!
I am glad I was here when I was.
Hi Isabel,
Is it really true, that in spite of all the brilliant articles here on Jane’s site, you are “horrified” by one article? Do you not find that to be a bit narrow minded? There were hundreds of people who visited here for the first time because of the Rosie piece. I would have to say to you your loss is our gain.
I would suggest you tune into Bill O’Reiley to get the spin you are looking for on Rosie.
Peace
kathy, isn’t that par for the coarse? it has been, and i’ve read jane’s for months. how unfortunate that some people woull be “horrified” by a story of empathy. even if they didn’t like that one,it doesn’t mean jane, the person or the writer, has changed or deserves to be treate d poorly.
I remember Marguerite Perrin!! OMG, she was just a wild, crazy woman. And that scream! God, could you imagine living with that? But she also seemed to be loving to her family, and she ahd a sense of humor.
Rose, that is the way it goes, huh? I like that old line from Stuart Smalley. If you can’t carpet the world, you should at least wear some slippers.
Sorry you feel that way Isabel (not the one from Maine). Rosie has good intentions and has used her position in this world to help thousands of children and adults. She has two foundations of her own, and donated over one million dollars of her own money to Katrina victims. She promotes peace, good parenting, education, music, art, and understanding.
Where you see “horror” I see one of the biggest hearts known to the public.
Dear Jane,
Wow, was I wrong.
And, I don’t mind one bit admitting it.
After all, how did I form my opinion of Rosie?
You know how, from what I saw on Television and from what I heard…and it wasn’t much because I don’t watch too, much anymore.
Yet, seems ‘culture,’ or our America kinda influenced my opinion without facts…and ‘they’ only showed me, and told me what they wanted me to hear.
So, heck, maybe I’m wrong.
Yet, you know what, I’m a real, live, flesh-and-blood person.
So, as always…
Love Always,
Freida