I asked, you answered, and I must say that other than getting somewhat lost in the Gmail maze of threaded email, this was a fun project for me. I’m nerdy like that — I like to know something about my readers other than their screen names — and I appreciate your openness. I was touched by some answers, agreed with several, and some left me quite surprised. So, without further ado I present, largely unedited, you.
Sharon: If you were given the opportunity to be financially secure for the rest of your life, but first had to spend five years in a grueling state of poverty, including bouts of homelessness, would you do it?
My answer is no. Besides being too old to give up those five years, I’m not a very big risk taker. Also looking back on 66 years of life I realize some of the best times were those of financial insecurity. That is when I am most creative. It is also the time when I must trust more and have faith that all will be okay. This has proven to work out many times for me.
Sandy: You have five minutes left to live. You will be lucid and able-bodied. How do you spend your last five minutes?
I would spend my last five minutes telling my family how much I love them and one special thing about each of them (my husband’s eyes that change colors depending on his outfit, my son’s enormous capacity to forgive, my daughter’s ability to assess a situation and find a solution in a snap.) Then I would say something funny so we are all laughing when I die. I want to go out laughing.
Veronica: You have to spend one year on the Island of Passion or the Island of Principle. Which would it be and why?
I have spent 47 years on the Island of Principle, and it’s been good. However, I believe in being open to new experiences and adventures and that having your underlying assumptions about life challenged leads to growth. I’ve only recently acknowledged the strength of my passions and would love to spend a year on the Island of Passion learning about myself and alternative ways of being and doing.
Peggi Jean: What is your single biggest pet peeve and why?
My biggest pet peeve is a sink full of dirty dishes, when there is an empty dishwasher within easy reach. why: because it means their time is more valuable than mine
Julia: A considerable amount of money or a considerable amount of privacy? You can only choose one.
Considerable amount of money. I’ve had privacy. While it’s been nice not to be openly judged for poor choices in my life, I think I’ve gotten a little thicker skinned about what people think of me. So bring on the money. I’d happily try the other life for a while.
Callie: You have just had a vigorous, passionate, and fascinating conversation with a 36 year old stranger. You later find out the s/he dropped out of school in seventh grade and works as a bus driver. What would your immediate thought be?
I would now be even more interested in this person. I would assume s/he were something of an auto-didact, and that circumstance had possibly played an unfortunate part in this person’s slipping through the cracks of the educational system.
Melissa: You become friends with an incredible artist whose talent you greatly admire. A few years later, she hits a creative dry spell. You don’t think anything about it, because it happens occasionally, but when she begins to create again you notice that all of her new work bears a striking similarity to your own — if not exactly replicated, then very similar in concept. What is your response?
I find that humor can often diffuse a sticky situation. I might carefully review her recent work and make several positive comments. This alone may elicit some ‘admission’ from her. If not, I would then say, “Well, I see you’re almost finished with your homage to my work. I love it!” (I would be sure to say this in a very playful manner, not in a mean or sarcastic way.) Hopefully, this would give her the space to talk about why she had gone this direction. If she’s still not saying much….I might have to resort to the old cliche about the sincerest form of flattery! Hopefully, breaking the ice via humor would open the way to a constructive and honest conversation. Most likely, this phase of her work is going to be quite temporary anyway. Maybe some part of her psyche is trying to reach out to you.
Nikki: Has anyone ever told you they found you intimidating? If so, did they tell you why? If not, have you ever wished to intimidate someone?
Yes, people have told me they find me intimidating until they get to know me, but I don’t get it because I see myself as a wimp. There are several people in my work life I would love to intimidate! Alas, no luck.
Shelley: You are ill with a disease that’s not terminal with medical intervention, but would be without. With treatment, there will be permanent and unpleasant consequences, but they will not be painful. At this point in life, you are single, with grown children, and have accomplished as much as you could. Your children and friends want you to have the treatment. What is your decision and why?
Always a difficult decision until you are really there, however, the decision will very likely be to NOT have the treatment. I do think about this often. There are two reasons I would choose to not have the treatment based how you phrased the question: I have accomplished as much as I could and my children are grown. In my opinion, that is the point of life. Once I have accomplished all that I can, it is ok to go. I do not want to be in pain (even though you stated the treatment would not be painful), but I don’t want to have an unpleasant voyage either. If I know I will have two days, two weeks or two months to live, I will enjoy those last days to the fullest but without unpleasantness rather than years with.
Lisa: Thinking about the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone else, intentionally or not, do you feel it was resolved or ever will be? Why or why not?
No, because the guilt is so deeply engrained in my psyche that it has become a part of me. Damn that Catholic guilt. What a thought to start my Monday with!
Carol Lynn: You have been given 30 seconds to broadcast a message that will be played to the world. What would the subject be and why?
Let all religious persecution and wars cease and let us all respect one another’s right to worship in they way they choose, or not at all. So much harm is done in the name of religion that we all ought to be ashamed and vow to be better people and societies for the betterment of our world.
Doris Rose: Your friend is a very talented guitarist but a mediocre singer. She decides to start her own band, and gets a gig at a local nightclub. You know the keyboard player is the better singer, and you know a talent agent will be in the audience that night. What, if anything, do you do?
My good and gifted friend has formed a small band comprised of a very talented keyboardist/singer and a non vocal drummer as well as a musical composer/singer/ bass. My friend sings adequately and plays acoustic guitar brilliantly. Their first paid job is a small coffee house with a loyal discerning crowd that has been very supportive and enthusiastic. My role had been cheerleader/roadie and have taken the job of logistics–chairs, lights, handbills, and water bottles.when we learn that the following weekend will have a talent scout in the audience, my friend asks me what could make their good performance great. Knowing the time is short and options limited for change without insult; I focus my comments on the numbers where my friend and the keyboardist have duets and enthusiastically praise her foresight and ability to do the tight, complex harmonies which could be the bands signature sound, and suggest focusing on just those numbers. (If she didn’t ask, I would not offer).
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