Comments on: Poison not Just in the Neglect, but in the Cliches http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/ Mon, 22 Aug 2011 05:27:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Sarah http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/comment-page-1/#comment-8878 Sarah Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:28:46 +0000 http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/#comment-8878 I'm not a fan of the saying 'children having children' unless you use it to include not an age but a maturity. Although you said it was most late-teen and early 20-year olds, your logic is fuzzy at best. If you choose to think that way then feel free to start to change the laws of when a child is considered an adult. Then convince perfectly mature late 20-year olds and early 30-year olds(more likely only possible with artificial means, and multiples abound) that they must care for their 'children' until they are 24 or 25. That whole mindset seeks to blame the poor for having children because they were forced to live in a home that did not properly take care of them and make them mature enough fast enough. I love the boot strap idea. I also love the education comes first idea. I think BOTH ideas should be championed together. Adults(within reason, not rape etc) have EVERY right(not just talking legal) to have children whenever they want. If you can't understand that...then this country isn't worth much solace at all. It is because of people like Linda that people who CHOOSE to have children in their early 20s get catty looks from OTHER(dare I say OLD) WOMEN who should be offering this well-intentioned friendly look everyone talks all nicey'nice about having/wanting...and supposedly stand for, search for, dream of...lalala. Do it! Be more accepting. Do,instead of say and judge. Either you are a young mother by choice or by accident. Calling them children is like calling 19 year old murderers children. Are you serious?! I am not a conservative by any means, but I do not tread these victim filled waters lightly. I know very few people who had "normal" childhoods and they are all doing inspiring, fascinating, and good things. Maybe I am a little quicker to forgive. My childhood cannot be summed up in quaint enough terms but it is mine, and no victim badge is going to take away ANYTHING I have earned...by myself. Beautiful children(UNDER THE AGE OF 18) included. I’m not a fan of the saying ‘children having children’ unless you use it to include not an age but a maturity. Although you said it was most late-teen and early 20-year olds, your logic is fuzzy at best. If you choose to think that way then feel free to start to change the laws of when a child is considered an adult. Then convince perfectly mature late 20-year olds and early 30-year olds(more likely only possible with artificial means, and multiples abound) that they must care for their ‘children’ until they are 24 or 25. That whole mindset seeks to blame the poor for having children because they were forced to live in a home that did not properly take care of them and make them mature enough fast enough. I love the boot strap idea. I also love the education comes first idea. I think BOTH ideas should be championed together. Adults(within reason, not rape etc) have EVERY right(not just talking legal) to have children whenever they want. If you can’t understand that…then this country isn’t worth much solace at all. It is because of people like Linda that people who CHOOSE to have children in their early 20s get catty looks from OTHER(dare I say OLD) WOMEN who should be offering this well-intentioned friendly look everyone talks all nicey’nice about having/wanting…and supposedly stand for, search for, dream of…lalala. Do it! Be more accepting. Do,instead of say and judge. Either you are a young mother by choice or by accident. Calling them children is like calling 19 year old murderers children. Are you serious?! I am not a conservative by any means, but I do not tread these victim filled waters lightly. I know very few people who had “normal” childhoods and they are all doing inspiring, fascinating, and good things. Maybe I am a little quicker to forgive. My childhood cannot be summed up in quaint enough terms but it is mine, and no victim badge is going to take away ANYTHING I have earned…by myself. Beautiful children(UNDER THE AGE OF 18) included.

]]> By: Jan.M.M. http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/comment-page-1/#comment-8678 Jan.M.M. Thu, 22 May 2008 04:06:09 +0000 http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/#comment-8678 I am 66- still I am learning the effects of torture that was pre-verbal. Jane- your analysis in this writing should be a preface for every book on child abuse. I dreaded the response I might have gotten even in this anonymous place. So far, it has been accepting- but I fear saying too much- like the paragraph above- causing 'others to be uncomfortable'. Brutal pain is unbelievable to many people. I am 66- still I am learning the effects of torture that was pre-verbal.
Jane- your analysis in this writing should be a preface for every book on child abuse.
I dreaded the response I might have gotten even in this anonymous place. So far, it has been accepting- but I fear saying too much- like the paragraph above- causing ‘others to be uncomfortable’. Brutal pain is unbelievable to many people.

]]> By: Will Johnson http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/comment-page-1/#comment-8674 Will Johnson Wed, 21 May 2008 06:34:49 +0000 http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/#comment-8674 Go here to see the latest research on Susan Wiley "Genie". If you can add anything to this, great, and I'll credit you~! http://www.countyhistorian.com/cecilweb/index.php/Genie_Wiley Go here to see the latest research on Susan Wiley “Genie”. If you can add anything to this, great, and I’ll credit you~!

http://www.countyhistorian.com/cecilweb/index.php/Genie_Wiley

]]> By: Jan.M.M. http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/comment-page-1/#comment-8209 Jan.M.M. Sun, 30 Mar 2008 05:08:40 +0000 http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/#comment-8209 I am # 13 comment. Added initials to name since there is another Jan- may be more. I am # 13 comment. Added initials to name since there is another Jan- may be more.

]]> By: LBJ http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/comment-page-1/#comment-7919 LBJ Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:32:57 +0000 http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/#comment-7919 Allison, a belated thank you. My mom has taken a bad turn and is now in the hospital. I am grieving already, and it's hard. I hopped online for a couple of hours of distraction, before I head back to sit with her. I think she will probably pass tonight or tomorrow. Bless you. And thank you. Allison, a belated thank you. My mom has taken a bad turn and is now in the hospital.

I am grieving already, and it’s hard. I hopped online for a couple of hours of distraction, before I head back to sit with her. I think she will probably pass tonight or tomorrow.

Bless you. And thank you.

]]> By: SusanC http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/comment-page-1/#comment-7806 SusanC Mon, 17 Mar 2008 20:15:51 +0000 http://janedevin.com/2008/03/10/poison-not-just-in-the-neglect-but-in-the-cliches/#comment-7806 Right on, Sister. For once someone exposes the layers beneath this lava crust that is our society in these present days. Where is it that we are taught not to think? Even in the New Age, those who have been a part of that are told to feel not think. Both are important this feeling and thinking together. After all aren't we made for both? I'm not sure who said it, but an uneducated populace is easy to control. And Kari's story resonated, a world where anything outside the approved "standard" is not tolerated. It's only now in my later middle years am I really discovering how true that is. Having known it when I was young, then gained acceptance, then once more diminished, it's a difficult road. For whatever reason I've found it difficult to stay "on task" for very long and my mind is always leaping to the next thought the next new idea, the next way of being in the world. It hasn't slowed since I finally think I am actually beginning to understand. But I now know I'm ADD and I'm learning all kinds of ways to "fix" this. In other words, become normal. At least in this one way. I'm afraid my numerous other abnormalities will leak out however, and while I am learning many useful tools for whatever it is my life will continue to become, I think I may hold on to a good portion of whatever makes my ADDness. My sympathy with the current thinking is not to belittle anyone's pain, not even my own, but to realize that is what life's really about, pain and suffering as well as joy. And it can be more healing to realize that we all go through it and continue going through it one way or another. Some people even survive. Some people want to own their pain like an emblem they can put on with their clothes. I'm of the opinion it's not something that can belong to anyone. (and yes the original final words I wrote are somewhere in the middle of this thing.) Right on, Sister. For once someone exposes the layers beneath this lava crust that is our society in these present days. Where is it that we are taught not to think? Even in the New Age, those who have been a part of that are told to feel not think. Both are important this feeling and thinking together. After all aren’t we made for both?

I’m not sure who said it, but an uneducated populace is easy to control. And Kari’s story resonated, a world where anything outside the approved “standard” is not tolerated. It’s only now in my later middle years am I really discovering how true that is. Having known it when I was young, then gained acceptance, then once more diminished, it’s a difficult road. For whatever reason I’ve found it difficult to stay “on task” for very long and my mind is always leaping to the next thought the next new idea, the next way of being in the world. It hasn’t slowed since I finally think I am actually beginning to understand. But I now know I’m ADD and I’m learning all kinds of ways to “fix” this. In other words, become normal. At least in this one way. I’m afraid my numerous other abnormalities will leak out however, and while I am learning many useful tools for whatever it is my life will continue to become, I think I may hold on to a good portion of whatever makes my ADDness.

My sympathy with the current thinking is not to belittle anyone’s pain, not even my own, but to realize that is what life’s really about, pain and suffering as well as joy. And it can be more healing to realize that we all go through it and continue going through it one way or another. Some people even survive. Some people want to own their pain like an emblem they can put on with their clothes. I’m of the opinion it’s not something that can belong to anyone. (and yes the original final words I wrote are somewhere in the middle of this thing.)

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