The Zucchini Stimulus
I was a 16 year-old wanna-be love child in a lace shirt, faded jeans, and moccasin boots. Bill was a real 30-something hippie, who had camped out at Woodstock and demonstrated at Berkeley. He drove an old Volkswagon Bug the color of chewed-up Wrigley’s gum, and was fond of quoting both Carlos Castaneda and Ayn Rand, sometimes in the same sentence. In Bill’s mind, there was no real span of difference between a Peruvian mystic and a Capitalist philosopher-novelist. “A million fucking ideas, that’s all the world is. The ideas stop, we stop. We turn back into bacteria, or protoplasm, or fucking zucchini.”
“Zucchini?”
“Yeah man, vegetables. Look around, half the world is there. They’re planted in their shit gardens, sucking in whatever nutrients they need to survive, but they’re not living, man. They’ve ceased to have ideas bigger than the vine they’re clinging to, whether it’s religion, academics, the rat-race, or something else. Whatever else you do, beware of that. Don’t become a fuckin’ zucchini.”
Most of the people I’ve met aren’t remembered, at least not vividly. Although I only knew him for a couple of years, Bill stuck with me. I’ve spent thirty years with the zucchini analogy branded in my brain, and have done my best to avoid becoming a clinging, myopic vegetable – which wasn’t nearly as easy as I thought it would be. There’s something about being hurt, struggling, overwhelmed, or frustrated that seems to stop life on a macro level. The world of ideas becomes less important than the need for a Band-Aid, a break, or an immediate solution – even if the solution is temporary, or detrimental in the long-run.
I’ve managed to keep myself out of the shit garden for the most part, if only because I love the idea of potential. I love knowing that, barring death or a cruel disease of the mind, the human brain can keep on learning, thinking, and creating up until the last of its neurons are fired and its gray matter grows cold. I get a special thrill out of stories about 70 year-olds graduating college or middle-aged artists having their first art show. Stories like that stoke hope, no matter how slim, that it really never is too late – not for a degree, for talent, for love, for dreams – not for anything.
I wonder, though, if it’s not too late to change America back to the innovative, thriving power it once was. I can’t be the only Democrat who believes that the bank bailout, and now the $900B(+) Economic Stimulus Plan, is like the governmental version of a shit garden. After browsing through the 1071 page document, I’m convinced that we are fertilizing soil for the benefit of the vegetables among us.
Bureaucracy is often a self-perpetuating monster, and the collective greed of big corporations has been well-documented. These are the major beneficiaries of spending in the bailout and stimulus packages, and for decades into the future, taxpayers will have the noose of this debt wrapped around their collective necks.
This stimulus package is just one humongous gambling marker, and the ideas within it seem to have sprung from the same kind of mentality that compels chronic gamblers to throw good money after bad, hoping that if they spend enough, Lady Luck will grace them with a winning streak. It’s irrational, it has no grounding in reality, but even otherwise smart people will rub their lucky pennies, throw a pinch of salt over their shoulder, or appeal to the fates when they’re losing.
The ideas contained in the bailout and stimulus plans cater to the chronic spenders and vegetables in our midst – there’s not an original thought or innovative, long-term approach within either package.
America didn’t become a superpower due to its government bailouts. We got there with revolutionary inventions – by the creation and manufacturing of goods no other country had, or could produce as well as we did. We got there by being innovative, competitive, and tireless in our search for ways to improve life for people here and around the globe. We got there by opening doors of opportunity, paying decent wages, making housing affordable, and being willing to challenge traditions and social policies that impeded human potential.
Greed and avarice overtook America during the Bush years, particularly in the corporate and banking sectors. It seems to me that the way back to greatness isn’t going to be found in borrowed money, mass bailouts, or by reviving sagging bureaucracies, but in a new vision that incorporates and rewards innovation, attempts new strategies, and insists on ethics.
Instead, we’ve just tilled a massive shit garden, and I think many working class Americans understand that, even if they don’t have a degree in economics. Most of us are aware that if someone stood out on the street tomorrow handing out $10 bills, people would take them, regardless of need. Free money is free money. There’s no innovation there, and no incentive to spend it wisely, or with the long-range interests of the country in mind. The zucchinis will plant themselves quickly enough, sucking up everything they can until the garden is dry.
My friend Bill was right. We are a world built on ideas, and the finest ideas aren’t contained in any one school of thought. Beyond every other consideration, our humanity, and our common desire for better circumstances, binds us.
“Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn’t, it is of no use.” – Carlos Castaneda
“Whatever their future, at the dawn of their lives, men seek a noble vision of man’s nature and of life’s potential.” – Ayn Rand
I’m not sure what any one person can do at this point to avoid shit garden economics, but as a nation of newly invigorated citizens I hope we demand accountability from all of those who seek to plant themselves there, and insist that those who show signs of wasting their handouts be plucked from the program.
And, of course, we have do whatever it takes to keep new ideas from flowing out of the hemisphere and into the vacuum of apathy.
This is officially my new favorite blog. I freaking LOVE it.
Bill lives on. I’ve now got the zucchini analogy stuck in MY brain! I’m a former Repub turned Independent and I voted for Barack Obama, but I have to agree with you Jane. The $13/week tax break I’ll be getting ($7.70 next year) isn’t going to do much for me or the economy, and I can’t see how building new federal buildings or granting more Pell grants is going to help people get out of the hole.
Kudos to Ryan for laying down the breadcrumbs that brought me here. I like the blog!
And kudos to you for this great post! The logical extension of capitalism: the lazy sods who want to make the most money for the least effort want everybody to buy into liquidity, because that’s how the lazy people profit. Free money is an illusion, and they know it.
Great analogy! now, to get my feet out of the shit…
Some of the most well written thoughts I have ever read. Excellent delivery, had me captured from ‘love-child’. Brilliant.
Thank you so much, Ryan! What a thrill to come back from coffee, to find that you commented and linked. I thank your readers, too, for taking the time to comment.
LBJ, 19.25 cents per hour – that’s the effect of the 2010 portion of the stimulus plan on most workers. I can’t imagine why anyone would think this was beneficial.
Irish, yes! They’ll take it because it’s there and effortless. Minneapolis once bailed out Northwest Airlines to the tune of millions. Two years later, they were back at the table, and we forgave the loans they promised to pay back. They’re now bankrupt. “Free money” can’t fill a black hole or fix bad practices.
Wendy, thank you.
1, I love the new banners! 2, I checked Google today & saw your listing was back to normal! 3, I’m so confused about the stimulus plan I’m not sure what to think. New buildings? Park projects? Breaks for Section 8 housing landlords? It sounds more like a general budget than a stimulus plan, but I’m trying to wait and see how it works out.
I came over from Ryan’s as well. You are such a great writer, I loved how you started this off in the 60’s, made the zucchini analogy, and brought us home with the bailout.
I, too, do not understand the logic in giving money away to the very entities that got us into a mess in the first place. I am in favor of spending money towards putting the country in a new direction, especially alternative energies and independence from oil.
“we’ve just tilled a massive shit garden…”
f-in brilliant. THAT is going to stick in my head for weeks.
is this on HuffPo too. it should be…
RYAN!!!! i just left a comment on his blog. what fun!
This piece SHOULD be on Huffington – everywhere, really. I would love to hear how your points are countered.
My 39-year-old brother is the poster child for shit garden produce. My parents birthed their original bailout/stimulus package for him 20 years ago. They’ve not been repaid, have forgiven loans, and slightly tweaked new bailout plans on his behalf. Guess what? He’s still a zucchini.
Psuedo – I totally agree with you on alternate energy. There are a lot of “new” technologies that have been gathering dust for lack of interest and support. We could be totally revolutionary on this one issue alone.
Kris & Chris – I submitted it to HuffPo, so we’ll see. I’m not sure they’ll find it worthy. Lately the submission process has been very slow and/or I’m at the bottom of the pile.
Chris – my youngest sister and your brother could plant themselves next to each other in this garden.
Yet another Home Run. It’s so hard lately to get my brain out of the vegetable patch, because the past 8 years broke my soul. You’re absolutely right, we are capable of greatness but I’m tired and beaten. The inauguration lit a spark and for a short time I was filled with hope for a new beginning, but I guess there was not enough fuel available to sustain it.
Your words also give me hope and I wish every reader would share these words with five new people and maybe some new ideas would sprout.
Thanks Jane for ‘Keeping on’
I don’t understand it either. Why shouldn’t these big guys who caused it all have to be on the street? Why can’t the little guy who is losing everything get the stimulus? Why should the bankers who are now bailed out also get the repossessed houses?
This is one of my new favorites – damn, I love your writing!!! We are constantly told that the stimulus is absolutely necessary, but the plans have been shallow and stale from the beginning. I found humor in the fact that we keep putting more shit on our gardens to make them grow “naturally”. Those zucchinis are happy as hell and thriving beyond imagination!!!
I agree with all of this great blog, except one fact. I think all this shit collecting started with Reagan and the “me” generation. Course, I may be older than some on here, but he really started the whole ” trickle down” economics deal, that reward the rich, and the poorer will benefit. It still grates on me when the bow to the idea of Reagan’s way of caressing the rich.
Amazing.
I’m often the odd ball here so let me throw a soft pitch re: stimulus. Remember, I’ve never pitched straight in my life and probably won’t now. But life is full of chances so I’ll give it a shot.
Not all that long ago in this country, we had another zucchini patch with some manure. We had another Democrat with some ideas that many people didn’t agree with but things were much worse then than now and this is not a fairy tale. The strange Democrat created several odd to many people programs that paid artists, artisans and construction people to do strange things.
Some writers were paid to travel the country and record the history and traditions and music of people in “back woods” areas that would have been lost forever.
Some artists painted murals in, at that time, the main building of the university I graduated from, they were so large, they scared me for a long time until I got used to them.
My small hometown has a beautiful park thanks to the strange man who was president for 12 years. It has a large stone arch leading into the park, an old fashioned but used to be fun swimming pool, a fish pond that finally had to be concreted in thanks to high school pranksters in the ’50’s and ’60’s.
They built a lovely sunken garden with terraces and old fashioned flowers and beautiful roses in it that was a delight to stroll in on a warm Summer Sunday afternoon, again until the teenagers got wonky and it had to be locked up.
One Arbor Day, according to my mother who was in school then, all the school children were taken to the park and each and every classroom planted a tree in the park, some more than one. A lovely, cool, green park that I used to play guitar and sing folk songs in with my friends when I was a teen.
The strange program even put up swings and monkey bars and see-saws for children to play on and built picnic tables for people to enjoy family get-to-gethers.
Now, honestly, I don’t think this stimulus package is going to be that creative and a lot of money is going to end up in pockets that are already well padded.
But I’m willing to give it time and a chance to work. Who knows, maybe at least one creative thing will come out of this and wouldn’t that be wonderful.
Marcie, that’s really beautiful and time will tell, but as it was passed, the Stimulus Plan didn’t create any new jobs.
Ronnie, I agree that the trickle down theory has been at play since Reagan, but what Bush added (and what’s part of this stimulus), is bloating not just corporations but bureaucracies.
Doris, Ann & Anne, thank you!
Ayn Rand! Someone mentioned Ayn Rand! I love Ayn Rand, have read all Ayn Rand ever published, but I…..
1. Offer rides home to women, especially women with young children, standing at
the bus stop in inclement weather. To wherever they live in the Metro area.
2. Delivered Meals on Wheels for over 15 years.
3. Spent over $5K to become MY OWN MOTHER’S GUARDIAN because my crazy ex-
husband’s wife (yep, you read it right) challenged me for guardianship of my
destitute, disabled mother whom I was taking right and proper care of via a
Power of Attorney.
So, my path has a heart, therefore my path is good, so maybe I’m more of a Carlos Castaneda kinda girl? Don’t know. But I do know that the stimulus package makes me nervous and I’m a Democrat and I want to give Obama, and the party, the benefit of the doubt. But I’m worried. I’m sure I won’t mind the extra $25 coming my way when I actually, finally receive unemployment compensation. But. Even so. Sigh.
Oh, and thanks Ryan for the link!
Jane,
I didn’t say there was creativity in this plan or jobs. I just get so tired of all the bitching everywhere that I just had to play Pollyanna and tell a bedtime story. And I DID couch it in that language.
Because of a multitude of things, including high blood pressure, I try very hard to look on things in the very brightest manner possible. Yes, I still see reality but it calms me down.
Since I don’t drink, I think I’ll go listen to a little Pachebel, he ususally calms me quickly.
Your article was, as usual, on point and well written but ’twas slightly upsetting to this ’60’s child. If I could only get to the guitar and had new strings! (sigh)
Aack! Where’d my first blog post for this topic go? Do I have to rewrite it?
It was rescued, Carol Lynn! I have no idea why WP occasionally filters posts, but after a short journey through the darkness, it found its way back.
I read all the Ayn Rand books when I was young, and I have to say her books screwed with my mind for years (that’s another post somewhere in the archives), but she certainly did know how to draw out the heroic. She wouldn’t have called herself a romantic, but I believe she was. She thought so highly of man’s potential that she could not see many realities.
If they want to see a FAST chsnge in the economy, they should have given each tax payer a few thousand dollars, instead of the rich deadbeats. WE would have spent that money so fast, the economy would be bursting, but it would have helped the little store owners, who had to close, the way it is now it helps no one except the ppl they gave the money to. But WOW the car industry is going to keep making new cars. I want to know who will be able to afford to buy one?? Lots of good homes out there now too, cheap, they just kicked some poor souls out , so now we can buy a foreclosure, but no one is working, , so how can we buy a cheap house??. it makes no sense to me, And yes it started with Regan, and i was so glad to hear someone else sy that.
Okay, it’s up on HuffPo, in the Business Section instead of the Politics section though.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-devin/the-stimulus-plan-shit-ga_b_168504.html
I’ll be curious to see if it gets any response.
Oh Jane! put that shameless pleag back up !! It is shame – LESS, girl! we WANT to know, and when your horn plays such a lovely song, it’s OK to toot it a time or two!
Wow, I love your bail-out shit garden analogy…..and I found you via Irish Gumbo and your comment about staying out of the library.
I relate I relate I relate!
Jane, I have been reading your blog since last fall when I bookmarked the piece about one of the Obama/McCain debates – I love your eye!
In this case however, although the analogy is effective in describing the stim.bill, it tends to exaggerate the harmful effects of re-prioritized and re-allocated spending. To continue with the shit-garden economics view, I don’t really think there is an alternative. It is a different colored shit, thats all, and with that I would agree with you, but it is one that is sorely needed. Roads, rail, bridges all need rebuilding; a national effort needs to be made to explore and develop alternate energy sources; the electricity and water grids need to be revised and rebuilt; the telecom infrastructure needs to be optimized and broadband expanded. All these, tacked on to more spending in the health, education and banking systems, mean more jobs happening in all those segments. So yes, different colored shit, but as the last garden had become parched, arid and non-productive, so we bow need to till, reseed and refertilise (but with a different color!) To quote the maxim of Candide – “Il faut cultiver notre jardin.
Theresa, we’ll see. There are infrastructure improvements in the stimulus plan, but there are also plenty of sieves that drain to nothing substantial, and there is a world of difference between “creating or saving” 350,000 jobs, which was part of Obama’s speech that pretty much got glossed over. The banking bailout has, so far, proven to be a disaster. Washington is now saying they will pull funds from those who waste them, but if we look at history, e.g. Halliburton, we know this is not swift or easy…and in Halliburton’s case, it didn’t even happen despite mountains of evidence and millions of missing dollars.