Comments on: Waving, Not Drowning

By: Jane Devin

Jane Devin — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:28:03 +0000

No, Anne, speaking out only makes the Eloise’s feel more victimized and misunderstood. Even when they have a moment of insight, it’s quickly overcome by feelings of rage and/or self-pity.

By: Jane Devin

Jane Devin — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:26:27 +0000

If there was ever a public case study of narcissism or Eloise at Work, it would be Blagojevich. Even more than Bush and company, because Blagojevich was so incredibly public with his self-delusions of grandeur and victimization. Even while something like 94% of the public was against him, Blagojevich convinced himself that he was wanted, and that only the vengeful Senate wanted him gone.

The alarming thing is that 6% of the public stood behind him. Even more, 20-something percent, believe that Bush was a good president.

By: V-Grrrl

V-Grrrl — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:17:53 +0000

There is a lot in this post I want to process and think about.

Re: Eloise

I am forever attracted to thinkers who see the light and the dark in life but not to brooders who use their lives to spread bitterness and negativity. I wouldn’t last 24 hours in the presence of an Eloise–and I wouldn’t apologize for it.

Not Waving but Drowning. Yes, that’s been a favorite poem of mine for years. I’m stunned she felt compelled to steal it AND to send you off with a final dose of guilt and darkness, an indictment that says “You don’t get me!”

Really, I think this post is all about Narcissism. So many political leaders are narcissists. Think about recent political scandals and how the players always position themselves as VICTIMS. Sometimes it’s so outrageous, it’s funny.

By: Anne

Anne — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:23:42 +0000

I am a rescuer, by nature, by profession, by choice at times. I have had many Eloises in my life – partners, friends, colleagues. Living in misery became a way of life to them – blinded by the process of brooding every possible life event. The relationships always end in one way or another. I sometimes wonder, if I had the ability to speak out, confront, identify the behaviors, whether they would have had a moment of insight. Instead, politeness or sensible silence wins and nothing changes. I know it is not my sole responsibility to create a space where change can occur. However, I also believe that I could have been a piece of the process had I chosen to engage in the dialogue.

By: Little Sun

Little Sun — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 04:28:40 +0000

You’ve so beautifully articulated some things I’ve often tried to find ways to write about… especially about our collective responsibility.

And yes, oh yes, “We can wave, and refuse to let ourselves be drowned.”

Thank you.

By: Donna L. Faber

Donna L. Faber — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 19:10:00 +0000

When I think of Eloise, any Eloise, I think of a trapped and frustrated bird, caged against it’s will and battering itself repeatedly against the bars. Birds have hollow bones that break so easily. With people, those bars are at times self-made. When we become adults, there comes a time to look at the bars we’ve made, decide if we really need them, and do what it takes to free ourselves. For some it’s harder than others, but it’s possible.

It’s possible.