Years ago, I was sitting in a dark bar at some casino, watching purple lights dance off of a blue waterfall and an orange fire pit. A lone musician sat in the corner with an electric keyboard and synthesizer, and two lonely dollar bills in a beer mug. Me and Cynthia, my co-worker, were winding down from a day of advertising hell. She was born to sales, but didn’t like the radio station we were working for. I was good at promotions, but hated dealing with people. We were lamenting together when all of the sudden the musician started singing I Can’t Live if Living is Without You at the top of his lungs. He even closed his eyes, as if the emotions of the song were just overwhelming for him. So of course we had to laugh. We laughed so hard, and so long, that we were both holding our sides, and falling out of our chairs. Tears were pouring down Cynthia’s face, which made us laugh even harder. And okay, yes, we felt kind of like bitches for laughing at the musician, but we added $10 to his tip jar because even though the comedy was unintentional, we were at least happy, laughing bitches when we left the bar.
Looking back on 2008, I feel like somebody needs to sing that song again while I’m sitting in some gaudy, artificial place. I need to laugh until I’m heady, exhausted, and out of tears. I need to stumble outside to the sidewalk and hail a cab, where I’ll laugh all the way home even though I’m not drunk. I need that week afterwards, where friends and I can’t even look at each other without bursting into song and cracking each other up.
Outside of a a new President being elected, 2008 was just a horrible year. Or maybe I just read too much news, and it’s dawned on me that much of the world is stupid, insane, and willing to degrade life at every opportunity. From raped babies to brainless religions to corrupt politics, 2008 offered up a particularly shameful and unevolved picture of the human race.
I’ll usher out the year with all the dignity it deserves — in a red vinyl booth, underneath strobe lights, while sipping some fruity concoction topped by a paper umbrella. My friends have talked me into going to a seedy karaoke bar in Minneapolis, where melodramatic songs and off-key singers are sure to bring a few laughs –- if people can refrain from killing each other.
Do you have a song to help usher in the new year? Share it in the comments section and win your choice of two books from my library, or a fancy-schmancy “Rise Up and Create” t-shirt from my friends at Visual Chronicles. Winner chosen by random drawing Saturday, January 3rd.
UPDATE: And the winner is….LJB! LJB, please check your email. Thank you everyone for all the great songs! – JD
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
2008 was pretty shitty. Sing a couple of songs at that bar.
My song submission for a night of karaoke: On The Road Again. It’s not the one I was thinking of, but if half the bar doesn’t leave singing that one line well into the first two weeks of the new year, then they’re still at the bar, in a manner of speaking.
One I just can’t bear, and gives me the willies every time I hear it: Muskrat Love.
Great post, Jane. Ya missed a few issues, though
Is there even an end to the list of travesties from 2008? and 2007…2006….
Happiest of New Years to Jane and all of her friends. My hat’s off and headed your way Jane.
Oh, I’d never sing in public Neil. The public just isn’t ready for that treat.
PQ, I’m thinking more about songs that might reflect the new year, and the changes almost everyone wants to see. Almost every song is bad when done with karaoke, but I really do hope someone sings Feelings.
For those that read earlier, yes, I changed the post. It was too long, and recapping the dismal year doesn’t make it any better. I don’t make new year’s resolutions, but if I did, at the top of the list would be less wtf moments. Unless it’s a happy wtf, because I’m totally up for that.
Sorry I can’t provide you with the “gaudy, artificial place”, but here’s the best version I ever heard of “the song” . . .
“Ken Lee tolibu dibu douchu”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQt-h753jHI&feature=related
PS what does “your comment is awaiting moderation” mean ?
Total Eclipse of the Heart is a real karaoke crowd-pleaser!!!
I’d pay big bucks to see you do that!!
LOL!!!!
On to 2009 because 2008 sucked in so many ways.
Cheers !!!
I’m thinking On The Road Again is fitting ’cause we, as a nation ARE on the road again , and no one knows all the words but it would leave everyone singing. And Muskrat Love–what we’re leaving behind.
I’ll submit more–I want that t-shirt!
Loving You by Minnie Riperton. No one can actually hit that high note without injuring the vocal cords or ending up with a hernia. The audience also may suffer permanent hearing loss. SouthPark immortalized this lovely piece in one of the episodes.
So – a song to reflect the new year? Counting Crows – Long December or maybe New Year’s Resolution by the Limousines – interesting song if you’ve never heard it.
“Fly Me to the Moon”
There’s a new world coming and I Believe.(those aren’t song titles)
Thanks Jane.
Bad lounge singers, bad lighting, and fruity drinks are a great antidote to the blues, Jane! The last trip I took with my mom was a cruise, and they had a bar like that on board. The song that cracked me up was Prince’s “Kiss” song.
I hope your night out yields lots of bad songs and lots of laughter. I can imagine your friends must have been pretty persuasive to get you to go to a bar.
My song for ’09 is War, by Edwin Starr. I’d like the whole world to sing it…..War, what’s it good for, absolutely nothin’, say it again. The world could use a little peace!
Give me love, give me Peace On Earth—- George Harrison
my song for the end of 2008 – hmmm how about the mawkish over sentimental yet strangely true “We Made It Through The Rain” by Barry Manilow?
My for real song for 2009 is my newly discovered “Monkeyback” by Beth Hart and my for fun song in 2009 is “On a Clear Day” as rendered by the Babs.
And I want a book from your library … a cool one. I’ll trade you for one of mine if that’ll help. I’ve got lots.
Love ya,
D~
Awww Donna….I’m so thrilled that you discovered Beth! I just love her music. And NO trades! I’m trying to get rid of books, not get more. LOL. People tend to give me books as gifts, and then I get quite a few from book reviews I write, and while I know a lot of people collect them, I usually only save reference books.
Oh, and if anybody didn’t click on worldhq101′s link…you must. It’s hysterical.
I feel obligated to post the first song that come into my head that WILL most likely usher in the new year (no matter how embarrassed I am).
My 10 year old daughter received the American Idol Wii game and has found particular meaning in “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie! To be 10 again and sing at the top of my lungs….maybe not…
I will be having a drink and hearing this song AGAIN and AGAIN!! I may have to pick up some little drink umbrellas…
Best wishes to you and I hope 2009 is a pleasant surprise. Thanks for all of your blog entries, they have made me think, smile, and grimace all at once.
I definitely love Beth … and I found her because you pointed to her on Twitter. Cool stuff.
I have a habit of collecting books, too, altho I pared down a lot when we left Connecticut. Still have loads, tho. They are so heavy!
D~
OMG! That link from worldhq101 is a hoot!
I had little paper umbrellas opening up all over the house, and from somewhere a disco ball sprinkled rainbow squares upon my walls and floors, and yes, from somewhere near the kitchen came the sound of red vinyl peeling off the bare leg of a summertime tourist. OUCH!!
I think I can now listen to Without You with a new found level of alcohol-free hysteria anytime of the day or night.
My song for midnight on the 31st? Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run.
Ok Jane here’s the song I hope you get to sing…. Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl”!!
Happy New Year! Also here’s one to sing to your friends for dragging you to sing karaoke, “Friends In Low Places” by Garth Brookes.
I hate New Years. When I was single it was a constant reminder that I didn’t have anybody to kiss at midnight and now that I’m married it still reminds me I don’t have anybody to kiss at midnight because he can’t stay up past 10 p.m. LOL
I am looking forward to 2009. It’s going to be my year to reclaim my health and basically get off my butt. *fingers crossed
Hope you have fun Jane!
Funny you should mention music that helps us in feeling better about 2009 and a bringing in new day ’round here! I have been thinking about that too, and I must say that when I opened my mind, I have stumbled across some very good new music recently! Though it might not be for every one, there is a class of music that I find lines up with the same ideas I have with my new quest to “simplify” in 2009 quite well.
To check out what I mean Youtube songs like Chicken Fried by the Zac Brown Band. Words like this inspire me:
‘Well I`ve seen the sunrise
See the love in my woman`s eyes
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother`s love
And its funny how it`s the simple things in life that mean the most
Not where you live, what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes
There`s no dollar sign on a piece of mind this I`ve come to know
So if you agree have a drink with me
Raise you glasses for a toast
To a little bit of chicken fried
Cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio up’
In Color by Jamey Johnson talks about looking through old black and white photos of his wedding day and he says:
‘This one is my favorite one. This is me and grandma in the summer sun all dressed up the day we said our vows. You can’t tell it here but it was hot that June and that rose was red and her eyes were blue and just look at that smile I was so proud. Thats the story of my life right there in black and white
And if it looks like we were scared to death like a couple of kids just trying to save each other you should’ve seen it in color.’
Like I said, simple music with good words that is genre-less is going to be my focus. In 2009 I am not waving any political banners, or padding any pockets of those who put out nonsense in any thing I listen to, nor am I going backwards in time to find things that soothe like Saturday Night at the 70′s. I am sick of the oldies! I want new, real, simple music that talks about commonalities and the stuff we all hate, and love, and see and experience in everyday life, and I intend to use my search for the good stuff in place of worrying about everything in the news and not my pocketbook. So far it’s working!
2009 is going to find me NOT expending energy on bad stuff I cannot control and more focusing on my life and family and yes, good new music.
Oh and one more song for when you feel a little rowdy…check out the Bartender Song by Rehab.
ya know, i’m married to a musician that spent a good deal of time in the 80′s traveling with an all girl top 40′s band. (the photos are hysterical). i thought she would enjoy music as much as i do, but seriously, if it’s not Joni Mitchell, in her eyes it’s crap.
i always cringe a little when i walk into an establishment and find that lone keyboardist at the mic. we have a phrase coined after one Paul Godman who used to get so thoroughly embarrassed for performers that he would get physically ill. so now, it is forever called “getting the Godman” or simply wispering “godman” in the ear of whomever is next to you at the karaoke bar.
as for music…oy. i have many choices…are you looking for inspiration?
p.s. i know beth….she’s kind of an arse, but better now that she’s cleaned up.
Hey kris D…
Not surprising Beth is an arse. She sings like one … honest, gutteral … and she sings like she very familiar with that monkey. My guess is that you can’t even come close to succeeding in the business without being a bit of a arse to survive it.
Just my unsolicited two cents.
D~
Brett Dennon – Ain’t No Reason
his vocals are very androgynous. hard to come by for male vocalists….and the lyrics are brilliant
John Legend – If You’re Out There
pure unadulterated goosebumpy kinda song. it was my anthem during around the elections.
Juana Molina – (two songs) El Vestido AND Dar (Que Dificil)
i have no idea what she’s saying but i like her soft vocals and her rhythms. the instrumentation speaks to me in a let’s-play-music-on-the-pots-and-pans kinda way.
Peter Gabriel – Down to Earth
Wall-E was my favorite movie of the year and i’m happy to hear signature peter gabriel. it just makes me happy.
Field Music – You’re Not Supposed To
a toe tapper….makes me want to do the safety dance….
Ray LaMontagne – Trouble
amen, brother
and finally….
Sara Barelles (love song) & Ingrid Michaelson (the way i am) teamed up for my favorite winter song appropriately titled, Winter Song (not to be confused with the Sarah McLaughlin tune. it’s a beautiful song and i’m happy to hear two female harmonies (my fantasy) singing to eachother. for you, Jane. because i do believe love is alive…….
You’re the only writer I know that doesn’t save every book they’ve ever read. Not just writers, but most people do. I’ve seen how many books you get and keep though so it’s understandable. I’m willing to be donated to anytime.
I’m reaching back in memory and pulling up Barbra Streisand’s version of Oh Happy Day, not for the religious lyrics, but for the hope the song contains. It’s the song I sang when Barack was elected.
I hope your friends show you a great time! Have a happy new year!
I don’t have a song to usher in 2009 but I do have one to usher OUT 2008. It’s that new one by Celine Dion where she screams at the top of her lungs for what seems like hours. If you are in the grocery store you can’t get away from it and it makes you run hysterically through the store pushing your cart, praying you can get out before you start screaming too. That’s 2008. So long, George Bush.
The Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson song is fabulous. If you haven’t heard it, do! The harmonies made my stomach feel like those first inklings of a new attraction. I think I need a girlfriend—-
Here is the link—-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUO0gd7cr9o
Ok – just because it is just a fun little ditty from way back when…”Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog”…..come on….it makes ya smile!!!
Glad you are getting out for the New year and sending positive thoughts that 2009 will be MUCH better than 2008!!!!
Totally– Brandi Carlile’s “The Story”
http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dxq-ZmAYLeB8
And Lucinda Williams’ “Are You All Right” seems to appropriately usher out 2008.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz4AqUrlscw
Haven’t thought of one I think should usher in the New Year yet, but here’s one to usher out 2008 (and every year since it was written by Sheldon Harnick in 1958 and made popular in the early 60′s by The Kingston Trio )
“The Merry Minuet”
They’re rioting in Africa.
They’re starving in Spain.
There’s hurricanes in Florida,
And Texas needs rain
The whole world is festering with unhappy souls
The French hate the Germans,
The Germans hate the Poles.
Italians hate Yugoslavs,
South Africans hate the Dutch.
And I don’t like anybody very much!
But we can be tranquil and thankful and proud,
for man’s been endowed with a mushroom-shaped cloud.
And we know for certain that some lovely day,
someone will set the spark off . . .
and we will all be blown away.
They’re rioting in Africa.
There’s strife in Iran . .
What nature doesn’t do to us . . .
Will be done by our fellow man ! !
Ew, that’s gross …
And little has changed since 1958…WTF?
Amen.
OK . . . I finally picked my song for 2009 Again an “oldie”. It was written by Jill Jackson and Sy Miller in the mid 50′s
“Let There Be Peace On Earth”
Let There Be Peace On Earth,
and let it begin with me. . .
Let There Be Peace On Earth,
the peace that was meant to be . . .
With God as our Father,
brothers all are we . . .
Let me walk with my brother
in perfect harmony . . .
Let peace begin with me,
let this be the moment now . . .
With every step I take,
let this be my solemn vow . . .
To take each moment and live each moment in peace, eternally . . .
Let There Be Peace On Earth,
and let it begin with me . . .
LOVE the new template choice, Jane! It’s like a ransom note you’ve put together to hold 2009 up to standards.
What a wonderful world…by Louis Armstrong, forever the optimist I like to think that everything happens, for a reason.
the Gladys Knight version of Let There Be Peace On Earth is particularly stellar! good choice…
Well…. did you sing after all??????
Hope you’re having a splendid new year so far!
Congrats, LJB! Please check your email.
Thank you to everyone who posted. It was fun revisiting some of these songs, and there were also a bunch I hadn’t heard of.
Hope everyone has a great ’09!
pssssttt….Julia, no, no way!